How Do You Answer Your Child’s Questions About Your Blended Family?

BY: - 19 Sep '14 | Blended Families

Share this article!

TNMFamilyHappy1

One day recently I picked up my 14-year-old daughter from her grandmother’s house with my 5-year-old son in tow. As we waited for my daughter, my son wandered into another room and returned holding something behind his back, a look of horror plastered across his face.

“Mom!” he said, “ What in the world is this!” He pulled a photo from behind his back. It was a picture of me and my daughter’s father at senior prom. “Why are you married with (‘married with’ is the term he uses to describe anything that looks like dating) my sister’s dad?”

His confusion surprised me a bit. My daughter’s father has always been an active co-parent. She splits her time between our home and his, so my son has always known that she has a different father than he does and has sisters that aren’t his sisters. So when he looked at me, frustrated and confused, I realized that maybe it didn’t make as much sense to him as I thought it had. He wanted answers from me, and I didn’t know what to say.

When we got home, I explained to him that just like his dad and I live in the same house and take care of him, a long time ago his sister’s dad and I did the same, but we broke up. The explanation satisfied his curiosity for that moment, but later he asked me whether his dad and I would break up. Another day he asked when he grew up and got married whether his wife would be already “broken up.”

The  experience brought to light the fact that while he’s never known anything other than his blended family, he still has questions about how that family came to be.

I’ve tried to field his questions about our blended family structure with age-appropriate honesty. Telling him  “it was a long time ago” and hoping he’ll forget about it doesn’t work. Sometimes his questions don’t have easy answers and when I truly don’t know I allow that answer to suffice. But, giving him honest responses, without going into the gory details, helps keep the communication lines open and arms him with the knowledge that his blended family is beautiful.

BMWK: Do your kids ask questions about your blended family? How do you answer them?

 

It’s Blended Families Week on the site.  Please click here for more articles and resources.

About the author

Aja Dorsey Jackson wrote 208 articles on this blog.

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marriage educator in Baltimore, Maryland and author of the blog and book, Making Love in the Microwave.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

5 WordPress comments on “How Do You Answer Your Child’s Questions About Your Blended Family?

  1. Pingback: How Do You Answer Your Child’s Questions About Your Blended Family? | KCEP-FM

  2. Pingback: How Do You Answer Your Child’s Questions About Your Blended Family? | KCEP-FM

  3. Pingback: How Do You Answer Your Child’s Questions About Your Blended Family? | KCEP-FM

  4. Pingback: How Do You Answer Your Child’s Questions About Your Blended Family? | KCEP-FM

  5. anonymous

    I accept the children to give me a name similar to if not something of equal respect as dad only different. One thing I didnt do before but if I get in that possition again I will definitely do so. or I will just put myself in the possision as a summer camp councilor. And they can just call mr. (My firstname)… and because I love children. I will deal with the disrespect I get. For as long as I can. And I would never under no circumstance allow any relationship to get any closer.

Leave a Reply

Get
Blended Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

[Internet Teaser] Blended: The Unspoken Truth About Stepfamilies

BY: - 19 Sep '14 | Blended Families

Share this article!

Blended: The Unspoken Truth About Stepfamilies

BMWK family we’re set to release two new films before the end of 2014 and we can’t wait for you to see them. Since this is Blended Families Week here on BMWK we thought it would be the perfect time to debut the first internet teaser for our upcoming film that deals with blended families.

We feel that blended families are the biggest issue facing marriages today, but no one is talking about it, until now.

Check out the teaser and more info on the film below then let us know what you think in the comment section. If you like what you see make sure you sign up here to receive updates on the upcoming release, screening dates and DVD discount details.

Blended: The Unspoken Truth About Stepfamilies

WEBSITE: 

http://www.BlendedFamilyMovie.com

SYNOPSIS:

Blended: The Unspoken Truth About Stepfamilies takes an in-depth look at one of the fastest growing types of family structures in America, the stepfamily. Some of the country’s top blended family experts share their expertise and knowledge of what makes stepfamilies work. Families also give first hand accounts of how they overcame serious issues in hope of helping & healing others who face similar circumstances.

COMING WINTER 2014

 

About the author

Lamar Tyler wrote 2229 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress