Wedding Vows: Do Vow Renewals Mean They’ve Expired?

BY: - 12 Mar '15 | Communication

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Vow renewals. Some love the idea of them, some don’t. Some see it as a testament of their love and commitment, and some see it as a waste of time. This year, hubby and I will celebrate ten years of marriage. I’ve always imagined celebrating or reaffirming our love and commitment to each other with a vow renewal. I’ve been to ones that were elaborate, and I’ve known of some that happened very privately.

Nothing could ever replace the moment and the day that we stood before family and friends and took our marriage vows in 2005. But there’s just something sentimental and exciting about being able to say them again, especially with our children here to witness it. Every year for our anniversary, we watch our wedding videos and the children love to watch it. They’re still trying to understand where they were when all that fun was going on. I don’t view a vow renewal as having a second wedding, although I wouldn’t be against putting on my wedding dress again.

The other day, a friend of mine posted a picture of an elaborately decorated reception hall, and noted that she told her husband they should renew their vows. His response was, “I didn’t know they expired.” Funny enough, that was my husband’s initial response as well. And while we all know they don’t expire, I see more good than harm from reaffirming your love. There’s just something magical and sentimental, especially because more than likely, you’re not the same people you were when you first got married.

Here are some things to consider when planning for a vow renewal:

1. Large or intimate?

Maybe you didn’t have a big wedding when you first got married, and now you want to celebrate in style – in a big way. Or maybe you want to commemorate with just immediate family and close friends.

2. Formal or casual?

Do you want to go for more of a fancy affair or will a casual celebration be the name of the game?

3. Traditional vows or write your own?

Maybe you went the traditional route when you first got married and now you want to incorporate your own personal touch, or vice versa.

4. The venue

Is there a place that holds sentimental value for you and your spouse? Maybe it’s your favorite vacation spot or somewhere you’ve been wanting to go.

5. Deciding on a budget

This should actually be the first step. But once you figure out what type of celebration you want to have, now you can figure out how to fit it within your budget.

6. Decide on a timeframe

Only you and your spouse know when the time is right to renew your vows. While often times, it’s to celebrate a milestone (5, 10, 25 years, etc.), there’s no right or wrong.

The jury is still out about how we will celebrate our ten year anniversary. And although our original marriage vows will never expire, reaffirming those vows will most likely be in our near future.

BMWK: Have you and your spouse considered renewing your vows? What are your thoughts on vow renewals – waste of time or sentimental?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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5 Best Practices for Beating the Marriage Blues

BY: - 12 Mar '15 | Communication

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Into every life a little rain must fall. We know life continues to bring a series of ups and downs. We’re often in and out of our season. It’s a reality we all must be willing to accept. Marriage isn’t any different. There will be excellent days. You know the ones where your spouse can do no wrong and you are just really feeling him/her. Then there will be those moments where the sight of him/her drives you crazy. Moments when you just aren’t feeling your spouse or your marriage.

The truth is, in marriage, folks make mistakes, they cause disappointment, frustration and anger. It doesn’t always feel like a happily ever after. Most couples have unfortunately experienced the marriage blues. Those blues can occur at any stage of marriage. Newlywed as well as seasoned married folks have had to navigate through the off season of marriage. The key is not avoiding it, but figuring out how to survive it.

Below are 5 best practices for beating the marriage blues:

Be honest

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Be honest about the fact that your marriage is actually experiencing the blues. The only way to begin to work on any challenge is to first admit it exists. Share your feelings with your spouse. If you’ve noticed it, more than likely, so has your partner. Not discussing it only causes it to build and explode.

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 628 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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