8 Simple Tips to Shake Off Mommy Stress that Will Keep You from Completely Losing It

BY: - 23 Apr '15 | Parenting

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We all know that being a mom is a full-time job. There’s no clocking out. When we leave our full-time jobs (whether in or away from the home), we clock into our full life job as a mother. While motherhood is one of the greatest joys we can be blessed with, it can also come with its fair share of stress. But the good news is, there are ways to manage it. And this is important because when mommy is happy, everyone is happy.

So here are 8 Simple Tips to Shake Off Mommy Stress:

Practice saying no

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Say it with me: "No is a complete sentence". The more you pile on your own plate with other peoples' agendas, the less time you will have to do the things you want to do. And this will ultimately lead to resentment and overwhelm. Take it from me: saying no is not selfish, it's a form of self-care. When you're cared for, everyone else around you can be cared for.

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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3 Reasons Children are Worth the Headache

BY: - 24 Apr '15 | Marriage

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As a mother of three, every now and then I will get the question from child-free friends or couples: Is having children worth it?

I’ve realized that my answer isn’t necessarily what whomever I’m talking to expects or what most would say. I’m not one of those mothers who says “oh it’s so hard but it’s all worth it in the end.” In reality, it’s worth it to me, but I can’t say that it would be “worth it” for everyone. Children are blessings, but they also can wreak havoc over your marriage if you let them.

My answer: It depends. Here are three reasons why kids might not be worth it (and three reasons why they are).

They don’t care about being annoying I love my kids, but at the same time recognize that they might all kind of be jerks. That’s not really an attack against them personally, it’s just that kids are pretty narrow in their focus, and usually think about their needs before anyone else’s. My 11-month-old son has no qualms about waking up at 5 clock in the morning and screaming at the top of his lungs. He really doesn’t care that you might be sleeping at the time.

Now imagine if one of your friends came into your house, threw your stuff on the floor and woke up screaming in the middle of the night for no reason. How long would it take for you to put that person out? Now imagine that you have multiple people in your house, all doing some version of that same thing. Imagine the stress that you and your spouse would feel because of it and you can’t put them out. I’m not saying parenting feels like that all of the time, but I have felt that way on my worst days.

They will take all of your money My husband and I used to daydream about what we would do with all of our extra money once we weren’t paying for anything child-related. Then we stopped playing that game because it made us too sad. When you have children there is always something expected or unexpected to pay for and kids only make it worse by having no concept of the value of money. Whether it’s adjusting to not being able to splurge so much on yourself, or just trying to figure out how to make ends meet, managing money after children can be hard on your marriage.

They make going out much harder Gone are the carefree days when you can just decide on a whim to go out on a date with your spouse. Sometimes I feel like it takes so much just to get out that by the time we’re finished getting everyone where they need to go, I’m so tired that I don’t feel like going out anymore.

On the flip side…

They raise the stakes Let me be clear: your marriage is an important honor and commitment whether or not you have kids and not having children doesn’t make your relationship any less committed. But when you have children, you’ve added another knot in that chain linking yourself to your spouse and your family forever. They create a bond that no matter what my husband and I are going through that can never be broken.

They make you laugh all of the time From the youngest to the oldest, my husband and I probably die laughing at least 5 times a day at something one of the kids is doing. My house is never, ever quiet, unless we aren’t home, but although the noise can get to be overwhelming, I wouldn’t even know what to do with the silence. The fun we have together and the memories that we are creating make parenting worth it for me.

They’re living, breathing representations of the love you share with each other Really. Have you ever thought about what it means to come together with another person you love and from that create an entirely new person that didn’t exist before? Just thinking about that can’t help but make me feel closer to the man I love.

Do you think kids are worth it? Has parenting made your marriage better or worse?

About the author

Aja Dorsey Jackson wrote 206 articles on this blog.

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marriage educator in Baltimore, Maryland and author of the blog and book, Making Love in the Microwave.

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