Men – This One Thing Is Killing Your Love Life

BY: - 30 Jul '15 | Lifestyle

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Reports show that adult material viewed online makes up for more than a third of all Internet bandwidth usage.

The world watches a lot of pornography. It’s in our households and shaping our culture whether we openly speak about it or not. And, ignoring it is not going to take away its power.

Men – If you want to have better control over your life and in your most meaningful relationships, you must stop giving that control to adult material.

I don’t say this from a point of judgment or any moral pulpit. I speak from a point of practicality.

Time is our most valuable asset. And we are bombarded daily with images that tantalize our senses and numb our consciences. There is hardly any silence in any of our lives today. We’re always taking in something:

  • TV
  • Radio
  • Traffic
  • Internet articles
  • YouTube
  • Kid’s cries or their laughter
  • Wife’s praise, bad mood, or criticism
  • The boss’s new assignment, phone calls, co-worker’s conversation
  • A book
  • The new Fetty Wap track
  • And so on and so on.

The cycle never ends.

Depending on who we are and what we’ve been through, we interpret and handle incoming signals differently.

However, despite this, if we commit to changing what we feed our minds and bodies, we automatically change not only our personal lives but what we can offer the world.

So, the next time you have an unexpected 30 minutes to kill, choose to spend your time on something productive rather than instinctual and carnal desires.

Invest that time intentionally into your goals, your kids, your spouse, your health, your learning, yourself.

Change what you allow yourself to consume.

This plea to respect the value of your time naturally assumes your free time is spent watching adult material.  You are not chasing the real thing at the bar, in a club, on Tinder, or on

If that is the case, I want you to consider how much time you invest in seeking out opportunities for sexual encounters on a weekly basis.

Let’s imagine a world where you’re not controlled by your basic animalistic needs. Imagine yourself in control, with all of your basic needs assigned its proper time and attention by you – no one else. In this kind of world, how else would you invest your time and energy?

What you feed in your life, grows – negative, positive or otherwise. You must be conscious of what you’re choosing to give birth to in your life.

Men have had a problem controlling their sexual urges since the beginning of time.

It’s a fight against biology. I’m not talking about every single man on earth, so if you’re the exception to the rule, then more power to you.

I’m speaking directly to the rule here.

  • I’m speaking to the man who fills his life with convenience by always going down the path of least resistance time after time.
  • I’m speaking to the man whose marriage is faltering because his wife craves a fraction of the attention he gives to the computer screen.
  • I’m talking to the man who has great ideas inside that brain only for those same ideas to die in the same place, because he never chose to use his 30 mins on Evernote.
  • I’m talking to the man who consistently puts his kids to bed early just so he can squeeze in an extra 5-10 minutes pulling up a clip he’s seen 100 times before.

I’m simply asking you to spend your time differently. I’m asking you to intentionally make the tougher decision.

I’m asking you to take back control of your life one portion at a time beginning with something 100% within your control.

Undoubtedly, there are a million and one things happening in your life that you must deal with but have no control over. It comes with being a human. But the time you mindlessly invest into pornography is directly within your sphere of influence.

In order to be the person you want to be, you have to be willing to change the person you were.

A good place to start is by not watching so much pornography, fellas.  Am I right?

About the author

Isom Kuade wrote 70 articles on this blog.

Isom Kuade is a father and a husband, resting his head in the middle of Texas. He's doing his best to adult with purpose and sneak in some good meals along the way. He and his wife tell stories of their triumphs, failures, and biased opinions at


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2 WordPress comments on “Men – This One Thing Is Killing Your Love Life

  1. anonymous

    Pornography is a big problem in my marriage at this time. My husband of 25 years views it every chance he gets. His phone gets flooded with photos from from his male and female co-workers of people performing deviant acts. He does not interact with me at home at all. No conversation, no sex… May I add that he is 53 and got caught via photo on his cell taking a young lady of 29 to a hotel. To all who think that porn is harmless think again it is just like drugs or any other addiction. It starts of harmless and progresses. He has 0 desire for me, his wife. He rather stay tethered to his phone waiting for the next message. How sad?

  2. Sharron M

    Dear Anonymous,

    Im really sorry to read about what’s going on with your husband. Yes, pornography is just like any other addiction or “spiritual” stronghold the enemy throws at us on a 24/7 basis.

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