I never used to understand what people used to say when they said things like, “It seems like just yesterday” or “I feel like we just started dating”, after being married for 10, 20, 30 plus years. But now that my husband and I are quickly approaching our ten year anniversary, I get it now.
I get it because I’m saying those same things. I get it because I wonder how I can fall in love with him over and over again after a decade of marriage and almost two decades of being in a relationship?
When I think about how it’s possible, it all boils down to one thing: communication. We haven’t quite gotten to the point of an argument-free marriage, but we are pretty darn close.
Over the years, I’ve learned that words truly do have power.
But even before your words are spoken, they are formed in your thoughts. So if you can control your thoughts, you can control your words which then become your actions and beliefs.
I remember when we got married and I said I couldn’t wait until we could celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary together.
When I think about the relationship I have with my husband, here are some ways that I’ve fallen in love with him long after we’ve said “I do”.
1. Dream together
And dream often. My hubby and I are always talking about what we want to do, and where we want to be whether it’s tomorrow, next month or 5 years from now. It allows us to keep each other accountable to each other.
2. Respect each other enough to walk away
One of the things that I recently relearned is the importance of controlling my words. You’re always in power and in control of what you say, but you can never take back what was said. I’ve realized that it’s so much easier to walk away, than deal with the guilt of saying something that I will later heavliy regret.
3. Talk about the difficult things
Have real conversations and have them often enough that they don’t make you uncomfortable talking about it. I’m the first person to always focus on the good, but I also know that we are not promised anything. So preparation is key for anything.
4. Laugh always
When you’ve been with someone for a long time, you have to find ways to keep things fun and exciting. My husband and I keep each other laughing and we genuinely have so much fun together! Laughter truly is the best medicine.
5. Same team, always
When you begin with the end in mind, you know that no matter what you go through, you will always be on the same side of the fence. When it comes to family, friends, children, remember that you are always one team with your spouse. There’s no trading teammates or quitting.
6. Faith and prayer
When all is said and done, faith and prayer will get you through anything. Even when you may have a difference of opinion, or not sure how you’ll get though something, prayer always changes things.
BMWK: In what ways have you fallen in love over again with your spouse?
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