6 Tips for Finding Peace of Mind in Your Life and Your Marriage

BY: - 15 Sep '15 | Faith

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Give anyone a choice between chaos and peace, and they will undoubtedly choose peace. Peace of mind is what we all strive for. No matter who you are, or what you do, no one wants to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, or weighed down from the day-to-day burdens of life. We want freedom, joy, and the peace that comes with it.

When we are unable to find inner peace, it carries over into the areas of our lives that matter most.

It is impossible to have a happy, peaceful marriage if you are struggling with unresolved pain that robs of you of your peace of mind.

Sure, you can do your best to ignore what’s disturbing your peace, telling yourself that’s what’s best for your marriage.  But ultimately, the truth will rise to the surface and what was once just a lack of inner peace begins to disturb your marriage at its core.

We all experience seasons of uncertainty. Here are 3 ways to maintain peace during the rough spots.

Going through life and trying to sustain a happy, healthy marriage without some peace of mind is painful and challenging.

And so, the million dollar questions is, how do we find peace?

Well, there is no easy fix, so nothing I am about to share will give you peace by tomorrow. However, if you are up to the challenge and truly want to see a change in your life, I do believe these tips will help you get closer to peace than you ever imagined.

Here are 6 tips to help you take your life and marriage to a peaceful place.

Focus on Forgiveness

Most of our feelings of unrest in life stem from an inability to forgive—others and ourselves. Forgiveness is key if you intend to find peace of mind.

We often think we’ve forgiven, but the pain attached to a situation still plays a major role in how we move through each day—haunting us at every turn. Forgiveness is a process and going through that process successfully frees us from whatever is holding us down. Learn to forgive and you are well on your way to finding peace.

Communicate with Clarity

Life would be so much simpler if your spouse could read your mind, right? Then you wouldn’t have to spend so much effort making sure they received your messages in the way you intended. But we all know that none of us is married to mind readers.

That said, frustration and confusion often occurs as a result of being unclear when you deliver a message to your spouse. Being clear about what you mean, want, and need can spare you and your spouse a lot of stress and confusion, and that can lead to more peace for everyone.

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Talk to God

The most peaceful and centered people I know have spent a great deal of time strengthening their relationships with the Lord. Sometimes the burden weighing against you is so heavy, going to the Source of all things is best way to help you find your way through the darkness and back to peace.

Click here for 13 Bible verses to pray over your husband.

Learn to Let Go

You cannot change the past. We all know that, but despite this knowledge we can hold on to what once happened with every fiber of our being.

For they sake of our own peace of mind, we have to learn how to truly let go. Moving forward with purpose and clarity is the only way to live a joyful life. Yes, we should all learn from our past, but holding on to things you want to change but cannot, won’t serve you well.

Be More Patient

Patience is a virtue, indeed. We all have to understand that things will not always unfold in our chosen time frame.

We must accept that everything is as it should be and stressing over things happening at the speed we desire won’t change much. Having patience with the people you love, as well as with the way your life is unfolding, is life changing.

Declutter Your Life

There is definitely some truth to the saying, “less is more.” The less you have cluttering your space and your mind, the more you will find in life.

Take the time to remove what doesn’t matter and clear your life and your mind for the kind of peace that will leave you feeling happy and free.

Embrace Your Personal Truth

When YOU stop living to please others, embracing who YOU truly are and what YOU truly want out of life, peace is abundant. If you stop trying to please everyone and just be who YOU want to be, peace will surely follow.

BMWK family, what are your tips for finding more peace in your life and marriage?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 494 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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Singles: Are You Equally Yoked In Dating and What Does It Really Mean?

BY: - 16 Sep '15 | Faith

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You’re digging him. You think she’s dope. Then you discover you’re not equally yoked. Or are you? What does it mean to be equally yoked in dating? The answer may surprise you!

Most of the singles I work with think the term equally yoked means the two partners are equals. They look at things like similarities in income levels, education, personal or spiritual growth, fitness, and other lifestyle qualities.

In fact, when many Christian clients come to me looking for a mate, they’ll say things like, “I want him to be as ambitious as I am…and, I want him to have a flat stomach like I do because fitness is important to me. I want to be equally yoked.”

Related: Read these two ways God will reveal your spouse.

Because most Christian singles don’t have clarity around what it means to be equally yoked in dating, they overlook great potential partners! I want to help you avoid this mistake, so grab your Bibles and turn with me to 2 Corinthians 6:14.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (KJV).

The scripture we just read shows 3 important things that most people overlook.

1) The term “equally yoked” is not used here at all. In fact, it’s a cliche Christians made up! Paul says to not be unequally yoked. This isn’t about splitting hairs. The word choice is important!

2) The scripture was not written about relationships or even marriage for that matter. Paul wasn’t telling people not to marry an unbeliever. He was talking about something different entirely.

3) To get a clear understanding, you need to know what yoking was all about. 

So let’s break it down, shall we?

Back in the Bible days, farmers yoked animals together to plow fields and carry heavy loads. They were taught not to connect a donkey with a horse, or a cattle with an ox. Why? Those animals would be unequally yoked because they differed in size, strength, purpose, and ability.

One of the animals would control the other, taking it in the wrong direction and the job wouldn’t get done. Farmers would have a big mess on their hands!

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You still with me? 

So when Paul is saying not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, he’s teaching not to be so emotionally and spiritually connected with an unbeliever that he or she has the chance to pull you in another direction or influence the way you think, talk, and behave.

When it comes to purpose, life’s direction and core values, you and an unbeliever can be as different as light and darkness or a donkey and a horse.  This doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with or even date someone who believes differently than you at all (especially since Paul wasn’t talking about friendships or marriage). It just means that you understand there are fundamental differences that will matter at different points in your relationship.

 

Hang on in there. I’m getting ready to close!

So what does this mean for you in dating and relationships?

1) You shouldn’t necessarily look for someone who is “just like you,” believing that you’re equally yoked. Instead, see if the person has what it takes to make a relationship work. See if they are fit for the institution of marriage. Look for things like: emotionally availability, communication skill, the ability to forgive, a healthy view of sexuality and more.

2) It’s not a sin to date (or marry) someone who isn’t a believer. But it can be challenging! 

In fact, Paul taught believers what to do if their spouse was an unbeliever. But you’re going to have challenges if you choose this path. The challenges usually go deeper than just, “I’m a Catholic, you’re Pentecostal” or “I was raised Baptist and you’re agnostic.”

The problems have to do with a lack of shared values. You may want to go to church every time the doors are open and he only thinks it’s necessary to go on Easter Sunday. You’ll have conflict over how to spend your time, how to communicate, and how to give each other space and grace to be an individual. This will cause relationship breakdowns.

Or, maybe he thinks the Bible is fiction, while you turn to it as a guide for daily life. You want to make major decisions after praying and seeking God, while he relies upon what he “feels” is right or what he knew to be true from the way his family did it. You end up with more conflict, less communication and the collapse of a relationship.

Being equally yoked needs to go beyond “I’m a Christian, you’re a Christian, or I’m successful, you’re successful.” Look into how well your values are aligned and whether you both have what it takes to make a relationship work.

Can I get an Amen? 

BMWK let’s talk. Would you date someone who didn’t have the same religious beliefs as you? 

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 154 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.

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