Feeling Stuck and Overwhelmed? These 4 Financial Strategies Will Help You Overcome

BY: - 2 Sep '15 | Home

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I know it may seem, depending on where you look and with whom you speak, that everyone is living a perfect life. Everyone is basking in the after glow of success, happiness, and goodness. And for some, that may be true. But I know that within that season of success, they encountered seasons of doubt, lack, and wandering.

If you are in that season of less, here are a few tips and stories of inspiration to propel you forward in all areas of your life.

You can always create your comeback

Recently, I had a major failure. I  was not able to meet my August deadline of getting the “Unmasking The Strong Black Woman” book out.

But with a lot of ugly crying and persistence, I ordered the proof of it, which is the printed copy of the book sent out for final touches last week.

Click here for help curing your unending procrastination!

This idea of helping brown girls own their financial and emotional health, which has been a big part of me, which I believe is my life’s work, and which forced me to fail hard and publicly, is now an actual living thing that I will be able to share.

So the moral is just keep pushing… and if you can’t  push, then nudge your way to the next step and try to get one thing done to make you feel good about yourself.

For Unmasking the Strong Black Woman book, it was a matter of clicking a link, filling out a few fields, and paying $12.00 for my dream to be shipped to me.

What will you be willing to do to recreate yourself and your comeback?

Click Here to Download a FREE Copy of the BMWK Generational Wealth Pledge for Black Families!

Know your needs vs. wants

In the Facebook community that I created, I shared that I recently finished my big ol’ bottle of Eucerin lotion after two years of use and not buying any smell good or lotion until it was done.

In the community, we had a lively discussion about needs vs. wants and the truth about claiming we can’t afford something when the reality is that we are spending money on things we don’t use.


My lotion addiction has been kept in check and saved me tons of money.  It’s also allowed me to spend money on things that really mattered like travel, savings, or even The Frugal Feminista.

If you were to look at what you currently own in your home, what are five things that you do not need to buy more of for at least six months?

Monitor your media intake

I think social media can be great but I think it can be one of the worst things for your spirit and your self-esteem. If your thoughts are headed south and you noticed that it was after a marathon run on Facebook,  Instagram, Twitter, Periscope, or your preferred weapon of choice, take a break.

Recently, I listened to an entrepreneur speak about how he stayed away from social media and even mainstream media because it polluted his creativity and put dents in his confidence. If you are familiar with Tim Ferris, author of the 4-Hour Work Week (and a book I highly recommend), he talks about this concept, too. Very powerful stuff from people who’ve had their money helping people break from their old thinking.

Start with the number 15

When I have a Herculean task to complete with the blog or the job or with my family, that’s where I jump-start my first-class levels of procrastination. But when I say to myself, “Hey, Kara, just do it for 15-minutes,” I feel a sense relief. The pressure to be perfect is gone and, of course, what happens is that I spend more than 15 minutes working on whatever it was that I was trying to avoid.

The 15-minute rule has been instrumental in helping me overcome many a fear, including organizing my bills, picking up the phone for my student loans, or asking for an uncomfortable favor.

What have you been avoiding? How could you use the 15-minute rule to help you reach your goals?

BMWK: How do you overcome anxiety? What strategies can you add?


About the author

Kara Stevens wrote 149 articles on this blog.

Kara is a motivational speaker, life coach, and founder of the personal finance and lifestyle blog The Frugal Feminista .


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Snip! Snip! Snip! 3 Fear Free Reasons Why Husbands Should Get a Vasectomy

BY: - 4 Sep '15 | Home

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BMWK family, I don’t always get personal about my marriage because as much as possible I try to write while keeping our business out of the street. However, today I need to speak on a debate that has been simmering in my home: my husband’s vasectomy, or more accurately, the vasectomy that he refuses to get.

Now, in actuality, he has never openly refused. He agreed to it after the birth of our son. That son will be seven years old in October. Seven years, and one more son later and I’m still waiting.

My husband has given me every possible excuse that exists for why it hasn’t happened yet. From I need foot surgery first (which he hasn’t gotten in seven years) to I haven’t had time to find out how much it costs (I repeat…in seven years).

Are you willing to compromise but not completely give in…click here

I know that I could just get my tubes tied. But I am willing to admit that I’m maybe having a moment of due selfishness. I’ve carried three babies, and the last one was an-over-eight-pounder. Through it all I’ve gained and lost probably my own body weight two times over, and my last pregnancy threw me into heart failure.



I am grateful for being able to have healthy babies, but all of the poking and prodding and lying on tables and stretch marks and such has been under my purview. So after all of that, why can’t I be given the gift of him getting a minor snip?

Now that I’m done whining, I’m going to outline a few reasons why, if you don’t want any more babies, men, you should get a vasectomy:

Your sex life will improve exponentially when you don’t have to worry about the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.

I’ve heard that the word “vasectomy” translated into another language means Freedom!! Don’t quote me on that, but what would it be like to know that all of the sex can happen as often as possible with no worries of the pitter patter of little feet? I have yet to experience this (see above), but I can only imagine the awesomeness.

The procedure is more difficult for women

Take a look at this handy, dandy chart if you want to see an actual breakdown of the difference between a tubal ligation (tubes tied) and a vasectomy. A tubal ligation can be up to ten times as expensive, requires at least double the downtime, carries much more risk and is a lot more likely to fail. Why spend more money and take more chances than you need to?

Why Not?

No, really. Why not? If you know that you don’t want any more children, what is your reasoning for not wanting to make sure that it never happens again?  I need answers!

Husbands, would you consider a vasectomy? Why or why not? What do you think wives? Should permanent birth control be the husband’s responsibility?

About the author

Aja Dorsey Jackson wrote 212 articles on this blog.

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marriage educator in Baltimore, Maryland and author of the blog and book, Making Love in the Microwave.


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