5 Things that We Did to Improve Our Communication and Save Our Marriage

BY: - 28 Oct '15 | Communication

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5 Things that We Did to Improve Our Communication and Save Our Marriage

This is Part 2 of a 3-part series on improving communication in your marriage:

The difference between couples that have great communication and those who can’t seem to talk about anything without fussing and fighting is…

Action.

Sounds simple doesn’t it…but, it is this difference that matters most.

Most people don’t come into a marriage knowing how to effectively communicate with their spouse.

They haven’t been taught communication skills. In fact, more often than not, they’ve learned how to communicate from the bad examples from the relationships they saw growing up.

But those couples who recognize that communication is indeed an issue, and then seek to intentionally make improvements are reaping the benefits.

What are those benefits?

  • Speaking freely and openly with your spouse
  • Sharing your most private thoughts in a safe place
  • Voicing your concerns when issues arise
  • Knowing that those concerns and issues are being addressed

Here’s what we did to turn things around in our marriage and improve the communication.

It’s that simple.  It’s action.

  1. We were intentional by prioritizing communication with each other every day.
  2. We were transparent and real and created a safe place to share our thoughts.
  3. We made a plan for how to handle issues when they do arise.
  4. We got to know each other.
  5. We got the help that we needed from resources and experts on how to improve our communication.

And for every one of these positive actions that we took towards improving communication in our marriage, we got one step closer to each other.  We got there and you can too.

In our BMWK Effective Communication (Online Training) we’ll show you how to master the art of communication in your marriage.

Through expert-led instruction, you’ll learn exactly how to have healthy, open and honest communication in your marriage.

If you liked the video above then you’ll love this…

How to Learn Better Communication

Get expert-led video training on better communication from the comfort of your own home.

Click here to try our BMWK Effective Communication (Online Training)

About the author

Ronnie Tyler wrote 513 articles on this blog.

Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.

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5 Conversations You Should Never Have Through Text Messages

BY: - 28 Oct '15 | Communication

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We all know the powerful and popular scripture found in Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

Just about every sermon on communication references to that scripture in order to show just how impactful our words are on others when used negatively. This scripture also shows how important words are to God.

It is by Him speaking words that He created the very World we live in. It is by Him speaking that we know what to do with our lives. God values words and because of that we also must value them.

Related: 25 bold statements you should make about your marriage today

It is very easy in our marriage or in any relationship to use words to destroy rather than to build up. In the moments when you and your spouse aren’t seeing eye to eye, or, maybe the moment your spouse takes you to that tipping point, we can choose the words that hurt the most.

Our generation has become excellent with words, but we must learn how and when to use them accordingly to use them.

You will find in the book of 2 and 3 John, Apostle John concluding his letters like this, “I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink.  Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.”

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As I was reading this the thought hit me; even then, in biblical days, there were things the people kept undisclosed until they were able to have face to face verbal communication.

In today’s culture we see that written communication is becoming very prevalent with texting, twitter, and facebook.  I would like to hit some practical conversations that should NOT be done over via text, but should be done verbally, preferably if possible face to face.

  1. Any dispute or argument 
  2. Ending a relationship or breaking up
  3. DTR’s -determining the relationship talks
  4. Cancellation of any sort
  5. Business (anything to do with money)

The main reason to conduct these types conversations via text message or in writing is an unwillingness to be confrontational.  Ladies, just a hint to you; if a guy is not MAN enough to call you, or set up a time for y’all to meet to discuss where you are in a relationship, or to end it, then he isn’t worth your time.

Ladies, be very careful that you do not use texting as a crutch to avoid confrontation with another person.

Related: 4 quick steps to more peace and less conflict in your marriage

In your marriage you should be careful with what you text your spouse.  Do not dishonor them by sending them a text message that is coming from an argument or dispute.  Save that for when you can talk it out face to face and behind closed doors.

Words are very important to God and how we use them matter to Him.  We need to ask Him for wisdom in every situation to make sure we are honoring Him and also honoring those who are in our lives for a reason.  We do not want to give the enemy any opportunity to come in between  us and the people we need in our lives.

BMWK, what other conversations should not take place via text message?

 

About the author

Jamal Miller wrote 84 articles on this blog.

Jamal Miller is the Co-Founder of Married and Young.com, a community committed to doing relationships God’s way, alongside his wife Natasha Miller. He has been involved in Pastoral Ministry for over 8 years, graduating from Christ for the Nations Institute with his Practical Theology Degree and Ecclesia College with his Bachelors in Christian Leadership. His passion for marriage and healthy relationships has influenced thousands to do it God’s way! He is the author of "25 Ways to Prepare for Marriage Other than Dating". Jamal and Natasha reside in Chicago, IL.

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