7 Ways the BMWK Marriage Cruise Can Elevate Your Marriage – For Lovers Only

BY: - 30 Oct '15 | Relationships

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Whenever the subject of a cruise came along amongst family and friends, my husband and I were not quite sure we were interested in participating.

When we heard about the BMWK Marriage cruise, we decided that we would make this our very first cruise experience. It definitely elevated our marriage to the next level. So I wanted to share these 7 ways to elevate your marriage…cruise edition.

1. Couples

There is a lot of beauty and pride to see 100 black couples walking around together. Happy couples. Couples who think highly enough of their marriage to make the investment in it. Couples who are willing to unplug from the stresses of everyday life and get away and focus on each other.

2. Focus

In order to take your marriage from good to great, you have to be willing to focus on it.

And not just glance over it, but to really shine the light and go over it with a fine tooth comb.

No marriage is perfect, but if you take the time to focus on it, you will see just how imperfectly perfect it is for you. The BMWK cruise will allow you to focus on areas of your marriage you didn’t even realize you needed to focus on. It will help you see what’s truly important and of value.

3. Communication skills

If you have good communication in your marriage, that’s great. But what if you could enhance that communication in a way that made it sexy? We all know it’s not what you say, but how you say it. If there is a wall built up, you may not even know it.

Click here to learn more about the 2016 BMWK Marriage Cruise!

The way in which we communicate to our spouse is so critical. You can’t afford NOT to get better at it. When it’s a difficult conversation, do you know how to initiate it in a way that lets your spouse know it’s in love?

4. Dating

Everyone’s number one reason for lack of dating in your marriage is time. Well, what if you could find a way for time to work in your favor?

We found that on a cruise (which forced us to put away the technology and get back to basics) we had plenty of time to date like we were in high school again.

5. Travel/new experience

“The world is a book. And those who do not travel, read only one page” ~St. Augustine. This quote is deep. Neither my husband or I were exposed to traveling when we were growing up. So one of our goals we set for ourselves and our family was to travel and see as much of the world as we possibly can (with and without he kiddos).

 

So we loved the fact that we got to experience a first visit in three different countries in such a short amount of time. With a cruise, you can travel to various countries/islands in such a short amount of time, while still experiencing the culture while you’re there.

In Honduras, we were able to take a private tour and see a native dance from the country. Even though it was short, we felt that we got the cliff notes and didn’t miss out on much. We were also able to shop from local artisans.

6. Fun

I love to dance and had a fab time breaking a sweat on many dance floors. But even if you don’t love to dance, you’ll love watching other people dance (or try to anyway). When is the last time you just let loose, forgot about all the worries and stresses, and instead focused on having fun with your spouse?

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Well a cruise will allow you to do just that. We didn’t know what to expect with it being our first cruise, and we definitely didn’t expect to have as much fun as we did, on something that forced us to shine the light on our marriage. If fun is missing from your marriage, a cruise will allow you to find it again.

7. Budget friendly

One of the reasons why cruises are so popular is the fact that they are budget friendly. We didn’t feel guilty for going on the cruise because we didn’t strain our budget to do it.

Once you know the activities you want to do and how many drinks you think you might like to partake in (alcohol is not included but regular drinks are), you can set aside that money which will be taken at the end of your cruise, based on your consumption.

Click here to learn more about the 2016 BMWK Marriage Cruise!

Thankfully, we were warned about this ahead of time, so we were able to plan accordingly. I was worried about getting bored or having to eat the same thing over and over again for a week. But neither of those happened.

Finances are a huge part of marriage issues, and the fact that a cruise can help minimize the stress factor when planning for one financially, is a huge help!

As first-time cruisers, this experience really did change our marriage for the better. We had a great marriage when we got there, but we left with an amazing marriage. We continue to refer back to all the things we learned from the various experts on the cruise even to this day.

We learned that there is strength in numbers, yes, even as it relates to your marriage. By surrounding ourselves with dozens of other couples who were all looking to achieve the same goal, we believe it gave us a renewed sense of pride that we wouldn’t get anywhere else.

BMWK: Are you cruise lovers? What is the best marriage experience you’ve encountered that has elevated your union to the next level?

To learn more about the 2016 BMWK Marriage Cruise, click here!

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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The Absolute Best Marriage Advice that No One Shares, But Should

BY: - 2 Nov '15 | Marriage

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Ever notice how when you announce you’re getting married everyone immediately has love advice to give you?

  • “Don’t go to bed to angry,”
  • “Be a freak in the sheets,”
  • “What you won’t do, someone else will.”

All great advice, and can definitely help you to be a good spouse. However, those are more surfacy responses. Marriage is the real deal and those common words of wisdom don’t speak to the entirety of marriage. Here is some additional advice that others don’t often share, but definitely should.

Advice: You will have to make sacrifices and lots of them.

In my crazy mind, I thought my marriage was going to be mostly about me – that I would be the big priority. I was thinking my man was going to take care of me, protect me and cater to me. I had a challenge realizing, those same things I wanted, my husband desired also.  

I had to be willing to give to my spouse or else it wouldn’t work.

He needed love, protecting, and having his needs met as well. Marriage isn’t one sided. We may have different roles within our marriage, but couples must make sacrifices.

You may have to do something you don’t necessarily want to do. Or you may have to say no to something you really want to say yes to, all for the love of your spouse. That’s sacrifice and it has to happen in your marriage, occasionally.

Advice: You may have to bite your tongue in several instances, for the sake of your partner.

Knowing your spouse, means you are familiar with their triggers and you don’t purposely do things that push them.  We have to be in control of our words, the majority of the time. Although sometimes we may have the urge to get them told, it may be better for our marriage if we keep quiet instead.

Related: Check this out for how to argue effectively

Words have power, and we must be selective. In addition, we must be mindful of our tone and the intention behind the words we choose to say.

Advice: Your frustration may make you occasionally question your decision.

No one can frustrate us more sometimes than the man or woman we love. When they don’t listen or continue to repeat the same bad habits, it becomes easy to wonder if this should be our forever.

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Knowing that the frustration or disappointments will happen no matter who you’re in a relationship with, will help you navigate through every marriage struggle. Couples should enter their marriage and decide divorce is not an option.

Advice: Forgiveness is an ongoing action needed in marriage.

Both you and your spouse will make mistakes, notice the “s” on the word, because there will be multiple ones made. You’ll have to do some forgiving as well as ask for it in return.

Matthew 12:21-22 reminds us of the following “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Forgiveness is key to every married couple whose goal is a marriage till death do us part.

Advice: Marriage is more than sex.

Yes, it’s necessary, but so is connection and having a friendship. Your spouse should be your friend. And you know what happens in friendships right?

You like each other, talk about any and everything, make time for one another, and can totally and completely be yourselves around one another. That is a friendship, and your spouse should be your best friend with whom you trust everything.

Related: Try these 7 practices of highly intimate couples

I hate using the phrase marriage is work. It always makes me feel a certain way whenever I have to break that news to couples who are surprised that their marriage isn’t easier. But I can’t allow them to enter into these unions lightly.

Effort is needed in addition to love and commitment. You’ll have to put yourself second and make sure your spouse’s needs are the priority. Marriage will not work without both you and your partner being completely invested. While it does require work, it does feel absolutely amazing when it’s done with the right motivation and intention.

BMWK, what marriage advice do you feel no one shares, but should?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 626 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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