5 Great Books that Every Christian Wife Should Read

BY: - 4 Jan '16 | Marriage

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By: Chandra Sparks Splond

Since becoming a wife in 2012, one of my goals is to learn everything there is to know about Gregory, the man with whom I will spend the rest of my life. In short, I’m working on my PhD in Gregory.

I want to become an expert in anything that has to do with my husband. I want to not only understand his likes and dislikes, but I want to gain a better understanding of what motivates him to do the things he does.

Like any good student pursuing her degree, that means I have to study, not only my husband, but books that give me a better understanding of him. Here are a few that have helped me so far on my journey.

#1) Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer

By: Priscilla Shirer

When War Room came out a few months ago, I was in line opening weekend to see it. I left the movie with a renewed determination to keep my marriage lifted in prayer. That determination lead me to a search for books that could help with my prayer life, and I was excited to find this gem by War Room star, Priscilla Shirer. Each chapter helps you declare war by creating prayer strategies in key areas, including negotiating family strife and renewing passions.

#2) The Power of Praying Wife

By: Stormie Omartian

I first discovered The Power of a Praying Wife when I was a relatively new wife. I must have been annoyed with my husband that day because one line leaped out at me: Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. From there, I was hooked.

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I thought my prayers would be what changed my husband, but really they changed me. I still use the prayers in the book and those the study guide instructed me to write when I pray for my husband.

#3) The 5 Love Languages

By: Gary Chapman

Does it ever feel like you are your husband are speaking totally different languages? Maybe you are. After reading The 5 Love Languages, I realized one of the ways my husband shows his love is by doing things for me. (The book calls this love language acts of service.) I feel loved when he is spending quality time with me. Once we learned our language styles and realized our “miscommunication,” we made a few adjustments. If you visit www.5lovelanguages.com, you will find a wealth of information to enhance the book.

#4) Did I Marry the Wrong Guy? And Other Silent Ponderings of a Fairly Normal Christian Wife

By: Michelle Stimpson

I think if we’re being honest, most of us have had those moments where we’ve wondered if marrying our husbands was a mistake. Author Michelle Stimpson helped me realize I am pretty normal by addressing issues that often go unspoken, including growing apart and not being into sex.

#5) A Wife After God’s Own Heart

By: Elizabeth George

Author Elizabeth George was the first writer whose books offered me practical tips for how to work toward being a good wife. She is a huge advocate for making small changes, and in A Wife After God’s Own Heart, she offers this message: “The most important thing you must decide to do each and every day as a wife is to put the Lord first.”

That’s a lesson I can definitely learn.

BMWK, What books have helped you on your journey to being a better wife?

Of all the titles Chandra Sparks Splond has held in her 20-plus-year career, she is most proud to be called a child of God, wife and mom. Splond is a blogger, editor, speaker and award-winning author. Her novels include The Pledge, The Promise and her latest, He’s Got Game. Splond’s editing clients include several New York Times, USA Today and Essence bestselling authors. Learn more about her at www.chandrasparkssplond.comBlog: www.magiccitymomma.comFacebook: www.facebook.com/magiccitymommaTwitter: www.twitter.com/magiccity_momma

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BMWK Staff wrote 1219 articles on this blog.

Content and articles from the staff and guest contributors of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com

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I’m the Breadwinner in My House So Should I Leave My Husband?

BY: - 5 Jan '16 | Marriage

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Dear Dr. Buckingham,

I am a woman who is married to a man (who is) older than me and I’m the breadwinner. He does work and it’s in sales (commission only).

It puts me at a disadvantage because we can’t seem to move forward because his sales are not consistent and it’s making me have to pull the load 85% of the time. Every time I try to talk to him about it, it transpires into an argument. It seems as if he does not see my hurt. I’m the Breadwinner, Not My Husband: Should I Leave?

Thanks in advance,

Mrs. Breadwinner

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Dear Mrs. Breadwinner,

I understand your frustration with pulling 85% of the load in your marriage, but I do not believe that you should leave your husband. I can relate to your frustration about not progressing financially and not receiving any empathy from your husband.

Like myself, most people might agree that your frustration is reasonable. However, how you cope with your frustration and express it toward your husband might not be. Given this, I highly recommend that you consider seeking professional counseling before you walk away from your marriage. Here is why.

Generally speaking, discussions about finances for couples where females are the primary breadwinners typically do not go well without a mediator. A mediator is usually helpful and needed in these situations because a large percentage of men become defensive when they are not bringing home enough bacon.

Greater empathy leads to better communication, and better communication leads to greater understanding.

Your husband probably becomes defensive and argues with you because his ego gets in the way. Be mindful that an argumentative and defensive man is a frustrated and prideful man. Not making enough money is a source of frustration for a lot of men.

A counselor might be able to help your husband process his emotions, which in return might help him see your hurt. We all need to become aware of what we are actually feeling which means to acknowledge, identify, and accept our feelings. Only then can we empathize with others.

I highly recommend that you seek counseling before moving on. Also, I highly recommend that you stop focusing on the finances for now and start focusing on your inability to communicate with your husband without arguing.

He will probably never validate your hurt or feelings if he does not feel that you understand his feelings. Greater empathy leads to better communication, and better communication leads to greater understanding. With greater understanding people become less defensive. Seek to understand your husband and revisit your decision to move on afterwards.

Best regards,

Dr. Buckingham

About the author

Dwayne Buckingham wrote 170 articles on this blog.

Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham, author of Qualified, yet Single: Why Good Men Remain Single and Unconditional Love: What Every Woman and Man Desires in a Relationship, is a highly acclaimed international clinical psychotherapist, life coach, relationship and resiliency expert, motivational speaker and corporate consultant. He is also the President and Chief Executive Officer of R.E.A.L. Horizons Consulting Service, located in Silver Spring, Maryland. To learn more about Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham visit his website at www.DrBuckingham.com.

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