Devon Franklin and Meagan Good Share the Importance of “The Wait”

BY: - 2 Feb '16 | Single

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Even after God told Meagan Good that DeVon Franklin was her husband, she waited nine loooong months until he asked her out to pursue a relationship. They waited until their third date to kiss. And they waited until they were married to have sex.

Why They Waited

Harnessing the power of delayed gratification is the theme of their new book, The Wait. It is all about:

  • getting control of our lives
  • reducing dating drama
  • and, avoiding desperate relationship choices

In their book, DeVon and Meagan explain that:

“When faced with the choice between instant gratification and delaying our own satisfaction to pursue something better, we chose the latter.”

And that conscious decision helped them as singles, now that they are married, and they hope it will help them whenever they become parents.

How Did Waiting Help You as Singles?

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In the past, they’d both been burned by relationships gone wrong because their emotions got in the way of sound judgment.

So while single, they both examined who they were, what they needed, and mistakes from past relationships.

This process allowed them to let go of baggage.

Looking back, not being blinded by lust or sexual attraction laid the groundwork for them to find the love of their lives—each other.

And they say that “the process of waiting was the key to our storybook beginning.”

Celibacy v. Abstinence

DeVon and Meagan explain that there is a big difference between celibacy and abstinence.

“Abstinence is simply refraining from sex; it’s the absence of something with no greater meaning behind it. To us, celibacy is refraining from sex because of a vow of faith; it’s abstinence with a purpose.”

They say that abstaining from sex just because you’re not in a relationship is not the same as  making a conscious decision. Celibacy is a conscious decision.

But Shouldn’t You Test Drive the Car Before You Buy?

DeVon and Meagan have an answer for that too. They say that: “Sexual heat eventually cools. Without sex in the picture, you know that your partner is with you…for you.”

How to Maintain Celibacy

Temptation is real, y’all.

And in The Wait, there is an entire chapter dedicated to helping people maintain their commitment. They admit that our will power is not bulletproof, so there needs to be some safeguards in place to keep our lust in check.

The couple say that “staying strong is really about avoiding stimuli that get you focusing on sex, staying out of provocative situations, and remembering your commitment to God and why you’re waiting.”

How Did Waiting Help You as a Married Couple?

Meagan said that “The journey of waiting gave me the opportunity not to have the distractions that I had in past relationships. It gave me the space to deal with baggage and things from my childhood, but it also made me more self-aware and made me more in love with myself.”

She explained that giving herself the space to wait also helped create behavior and work ethic that shaped the next phase of her life—not just in love, but in her career also.

Once You ARE Parents, How Will Waiting Guide Your Parenting Style?

When I asked how The Wait would guide their parenting style, DeVon and Meagan both started laughing. (Contrary to what’s on the interwebs, they are not currently expecting a little bundle of joy.)

DeVon said that “We would hope it would allow us to have the same type of patience and perspective, because what ultimately is good….you have to wait for and give time to develop. It’s very important, because as a parent, if you put pressure on your kids to be something before they are ready, you can do a lot of damage.”

Meagan added that it’s important to “teach [children]  that there are no quick fixes in life, despite what society is telling them. We want to teach them the tools to be patient in their own lives and to make decisions from a place of peace, power, and faith, because that’s something they can take with them in every area of their life.”

For Me, The Wait Is Personal

I’ve been married for three years now, but I still learned a lot from The Wait and chatting with DeVon and Meagan.

There are so many hopes and dreams that I am waiting to be realized, but when we work on ourselves and make decisions from a place of peace and power, we position ourselves for God’s very best.

For more tips and tales from DeVon and Meagan’s journey to love and marriage, buy their book The Wait.

BMWK: What are you currently waiting on? And how can delaying gratification help you in the long run?

About the author

M. Simone Boyd wrote 32 articles on this blog.

Last year, M. Simone Boyd quit her job as an energy analyst to research what makes relationships thrive or die. She interviewed 10 Christian Black Men to get their advice on relationships and wrote a free guide. Simone is one of eight kids, and her awesome husband is an only child. She leads workshops, writes, and goes to the gym at least once a month.


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5 Marriage Prep Lessons that Give Singles on the Hunt a Reality Check

BY: - 3 Feb '16 | Single

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Many singles desire to be married. Unfortunately, most singles spend their time dreaming of their wedding day and seeking a spouse rather than preparing to be one. Think you are ready for marriage? Here are 5 key areas that most overlook when preparing for marriage.

Lesson 1 – Know your why

Ask yourself, why do you want to be married? What purpose does marriage serve in your life? What purpose will you and your mate fulfill together? When you put marriage in that context marriage becomes more about purpose rather than a next step.

As a single person, how financially savvy are you with your money?

Instead of focusing on meeting your spouse, concentrate on pursuing your purpose. When you concentrate on your purpose, you become more in tune with who you are, your wants and desires. As such you will attract and connect with someone who is purpose driven and like-minded.

Lesson 2 – Do the work

Outside of being attractive, fun loving, outgoing etc., what do you bring to the relationship? In marriage, as with any relationship, you have good days and some challenging days. Ask any married couple and they will tell you that marriage is work. A successful marriage requires both spouses to be selfless, forgiving, willing to compromise, honest, communicators and the list goes on. Here are few questions for you to consider:

Do you have the fortitude, the tenacity, the ability to die to your desires and compromise for the greater good of the relationship?

Are you able to put your desires on hold so that someone else can pursue their desire before you?

Are you ready to forgive even when every part of you wants to lash out and make the person pay for hurting you?

Are you ready to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, wants and desires?

Are you willing to be transparent and accountable?

Are you ready to handle these types of issues and many more or do you have a little more work to do? Marriage is beautiful especially after you’ve done the work.

Lesson 3 – Check yourself

Many singles have stated that they will be glad when they meet their mates so they won’t have to deal with particular problems or issues. Their perception is that their lives will be better and/or different after marriage.


Unfortunately, it won’t. If you don’t deal with your issues, responsibilities and/or challenges prior to marriage they won’t disappear after marriage. Take a look in the mirror and conduct a self-check. Do you have any lingering issues which need to be resolved? If so, deal with YOU before bringing someone else into the situation.

Lesson 4 – Get money savvy

Finances are one of the #1 problems which leads to divorce. When you get married, you usually combine your financial resources. Your independent financial decisions no longer effect you but the entire household. Are you ready to share financial responsibility? Are you ready to compromise when it comes to money management? Are you ready to be accountable to your spouse regarding your finances?

As a single person, how financially savvy are you with your money?

How do you handle your finances? Do you pay your bills on time? Do you have a savings account? Do you have investment accounts? Are you maxed out on your credit cards? Do you have a good credit score? Do you budget your money? Do you spend your money as soon as you receive it? Do you wear your money, save your money, drive your money or invest your money? Are you ready to be accountable regarding your spending? Are you ready to manage a household on your paycheck?

These are key financial issues which need to be addressed individually and as a couple prior to marriage.

Lesson 5 – Know what to expect

Do you know what to expect out of marriage? If it’s the wedding day, you aren’t ready. If it’s the fact that you won’t be alone anymore, you aren’t ready. If it’s what happens in marriage – the two becoming one, fulfilling their God ordained purpose while “doing life” and all that that entails with their partner and best friend – then, you might be on the right track.

Hopefully, these self-reflective topics will allow you to look at other key areas which need to be addressed prior to marriage. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage but aren’t prepared for the reality that comes with it.

BMWK, Are you ready for marriage?

About the author

Judi Mason wrote 61 articles on this blog.

Judi Mason is an Empowerment Strategist, whose mission is to empower You to become your best authentic self. As an accomplished author, Judi has garnered much success with her self-help books and workshops; including her popular Girl Talk: Relationship 101 events- which was birthed from her best-selling book, The Relationship Chronicles- Real Love, Straight Talk No Drama. As a sought after speaker, Judi uses multiple platforms from the marketplace to ministry; to enable individuals to pursue and fulfill their God ordained purpose with passion, in life, love and entrepreneurship.


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