When You Think You’ve Tried Everything…32 More Actions to Improve Your Marriage  

BY: - 17 Feb '16 | Communication

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I’m going to get straight to point.  If you and your partner are having difficulty communicating, then you owe it to yourself and your marriage to try everything you can to improve the situation.

I know it gets hard and frustrating sometimes….like you’re beating your head up against a brick wall. But your marriage is worth fighting for.

And when it seems like you’ve tried all that you can, try some more.

For one thing, you don’t know it all when it comes to communicating with your spouse.  You might think you’ve tried everything….but there may be something else out there that may work.  You may think your spouse is the problem, but you might come to find out that you are not so innocent yourself.

The point is, you don’t know what you don’t know.  So before you throw up your hands and decide to throw in the towel, do your due diligence and get some help for your marriage. Try something different, you never know…you just might get different results.

Before you give up trying to talk to your mate altogether…try something different.

And this is why I am so happy to share with you the newly released book from author and life and relationship coach, Tiya Cunningham-Sumpter – A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex, and Conflict.

First of all, Tiya is the longest running writer on this site…and she brings you best relationship advice…every week without fail!  So, this book is BMWK Certified Goodness and we recommend it 100%.

Tiya created this book with you in mind. It offers 32 realistic approaches with easy tips to improve your relationship and transform your communication.  Tiya says:

“The benefit of having a book like this at your fingertips is that it’s always at your fingertips.  The potential drawback, of course, is if you decide not to take action on any of what you learned, you have to live the fact that nothing changes.”

Here are the 32 different ways you will learn how to improve your relationship:

  1. Learn how to really question your husband
  2. Learn how to appropriately talk to your husband (without nagging)
  3. Learn the secret to decoding the messages your man is sending
  4. Learn how to talk to your wife about anything
  5. Learn what your partner is craving
  6. Learn the things your partner needs to hear moretsumter300x300-4
  7. Learn how to invest in your intimacy
  8. Learn how to charm the undies off your spouse
  9. Learn 5 phrases that will turn your wife on
  10. Learn 10 exotic phrases to use on your spouse
  11. Learn tips to get your spouse in the mood
  12. Learn how to fight fairly
  13. Learn how NOT to be an instigator in your relationship
  14. Learn the things that you should Never Say in an arguement
  15. Learn the phrases that restore peace in your marraige….

Honestly, I can go on and on listing all of the things that you will learn about in the book….but I won’t.  The point is….if you haven’t tried all of these things…then you haven’t tried it all.

This book is full of great tips for improving your relationship and communication.  And it even gives you exercises to try throughout the book, in order to implement what you’ve learned (i.e –action)

So before you give up trying to talk to your mate altogether…try something different.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter decided to change the conversation and write a book about changing the way couples communicate by offering 32 bold relationship lessons. She knows this book has the power to change lives. You can grab your copy HERE.

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About the author

Ronnie Tyler wrote 522 articles on this blog.

Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.

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YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! 3 Very REAL Reasons Your Man Might Be Lying to You!

BY: - 22 Feb '16 | Communication

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“Why won’t you just tell me the truth?”

“Baby, you know you can tell me the truth…”

“I can handle the truth…”

Most men have heard those statements before. And because they often sound so earnest and so convincing, many men have gone down that scary road of telling the truth just to find out that it leads into a trap. Ladies, you love to say these things to try to get us to express how we truly feel about your new outfit, your cousin Jessica, [insert whatever]. Unfortunately, many times you are only looking for affirmation. Or you just want us to have feelings about issues when they are convenient for you. Yeah, I know many of you will get upset about that statement, but I wouldn’t be writing it if it wasn’t something I’ve heard from many, many men from all walks of life. I know you think it should be easy to always just tell you how we really feel, but here are a few reasons why we DON’T.

 

  • We will feel your passive-aggressive wrath

Ladies, sometimes when we get the courage to tell you the truth about how we really feel about something, we slowly realize that, though you were cool with the truth at the time, an attitude inevitably comes out of nowhere. You become short with us, you become irritable, you start making smart, little, passive-aggressive remarks. As we normally do when we’ve sensed we’ve messed up, we begin to think what could I have done or said to make her mad. Once we connect the dots, we eventually find the path leads back to when we told the truth about something. Maybe it was about how you looked, or how we felt about a situation in your life or with your family, or how you’ve been acting, our love life or whatever. But we realize real fast not to touch that hot stove again.

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  • We know it will be thrown in our faces

Okay, so maybe you didn’t say anything right at that moment, but around one month later, that “truth” I told you somehow seems to come back up when we are in the middle of another discussion. It usually starts with “well, you said….” And often what we said has nothing to do with the current scenario. Yeah, you said you were cool with the truth, but you were just cool with that truth—in that moment.

  • You will tell family and friends

Okay, so we had that private discussion, and I told you how I truly felt. Yet, the next time I’m around your family, my true feelings become the topic of discussion. What’s up with that? Maybe it hurt your feelings at the time, but now it makes me look like the bad guy because the people you told have no real PERSPECTIVE; they instead just know your side of the story. You probably said something like “I can’t believe he said…..” and then proceeded to tell all of the reasons why my (his) opinion was wrong. Ladies, we don’t need your friends or family judging us because you don’t like the truth you heard.

Don’t always take our honesty so personal—after all, you asked for it.

Okay, ladies, I know many of you will say we don’t tell the truth because we are just liars. Well that’s not the guy I’m talking about in this blog. My point is simple and bigger than that: if you truly want us to be able to always be open and honest with you, then stop allowing our honesty to result in consequences. Don’t always take our honesty so personal—after all, you asked for it. And, ladies, please don’t just ask for it when you’re really only just looking for affirmations. You have to create an environment, in which we can be vulnerable and at ease to expose how we truly feel without fear of judgment or repercussion. After a few times of receiving backlash for our truths, don’t be surprised if we clam up and never share our true feelings again. If you want to foster a culture of openness and 100 percent honesty, then you have to be willing to receive that honesty. And if you already know you can’t handle the truth, then don’t ask, and we won’t tell.

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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