“Happy Father’s Day…Mom!” Should Single Mothers be Honored on Father’s Day?

BY: - 30 May '16 | Parenting

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One Father’s Day morning, Lil’ Joe gave me a Father’s Day card at church. I was so thankful! He was 10 years old back then. And when Jasmyn was 20, she gave me this beautifully hand-written Father’s Day card. I was so humbled.

But I couldn’t help but wonder if Lil’ Joe also gave a card to Big Joe, his father. And if Jasmyn wrote her father a nice Father’s Day card too.

See…I don’t have any children. But my good-Christian affinity to help single mothers…in Lil’ Joe’s case…and young adults like Jasmyn, put me in Happy Father’s Day status in their eyes.


Father’s Day Shade

Stepfather’s, uncles and male mentors have long since played the role of father-figure in a child’s life when their father wasn’t around. Should there be dad-shade thrown at them…or me…for receiving an honorary Father’s Day nod? Of course not. So why is there canopy-like shade thrown at single mothers who step in and do the same thing for their children when their fathers aren’t around?

There appears to be a growing chorus of men and women who believe Father’s Day should be for fathers only…and single mothers should let them have their day.

To this I say, ‘to whom this applies…it applies!’ Meaning, if your dad was/is active in parenting you, then you shouldn’t be wishing your mother a Happy Father’s Day. But if he didn’t/isn’t, then I believe it’s right and just to honor your mother for doing the job.

Father vs. Dad

“A man can be a father. But not every father can be a dad.”

Raising a child involves a father’s active participation. And that active participation gives him the more emotional…the more endearing term of dad. Feel what I mean???

If you grew up with a father who was not active…or not as active…in your life, you can comfortably refer to him as “my father.” Father is like a man’s position. It defines his relationship to you. But wouldn’t it feel weird to you if you referred to him as “my daddy” or “my dad”? A man can be a father. But not every father can be a dad. A ’dad’ is like a man’s esteemed status. It kinda tells people who your father is to you.

The Person Who Plays the Role Gets the Honor

My wife’s father died when she was 8-years old. When her mom was alive, she used to send her Father’s Day cards. Why? Because everything her father was supposed to do for her and her five siblings…her mother did it.

Therefore, if the mother is forced to step in and take on daddy’s roles, then it’s the mother who gets the Father’s Day honor. And she should be honored indeed…because the other 364 days of the year, she also gets the blame, the responsibility, the stress, the worry, the headaches and the instability that comes along with playing both roles.

So come Father’s Day, to whom this applies…you go ahead and celebrate your mother for being both mommy and daddy. And to whom this doesn’t apply, Imma need you to go somewhere and saa-down, shut up and be thankful you had a dad who actively participated in your life. Because not everyone grew up as fortunate as you.

BMWK – Do you think single mothers should be honored on Father’s Day?

About the author

Heath Wiggins wrote 83 articles on this blog.

The Purveyor of Understanding - Heath Wiggins married Bernadette (Bernie) Wiggins in October 1997. Together they founded the Family Bootcamp, LLC., a relationship consulting business that helps people improve the communication and trust in relationships. In 2013, Heath launched the blog and book His Leadership Her Trust to combat the lack of trust women had in allowing men be leaders in their relationships. His mission is to teach Christian men how to lead in such a way that women trust, respect, and actually want to them.


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8 Scriptures to Plant in Your Child’s Heart

BY: - 2 Jun '16 | Faith

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Our children are so bright. They are able to memorize more than we may think. Just turn on the radio, and see how many songs they are able to sing from memory. If they can sing songs and quote nursery rhymes by heart, why not the scriptures?

Studies show that the core structure of a child’s brain is 85 percent developed by age 3. It’s great to have the backing of briefing papers and scholarly research, but we know our kids. We don’t need a scholar to tell us how smart our kids are. We see their potential every day.

Memorizing scripture is something my mom did with me, something I did with my kids, and now I’m privileged to do the same with my granddaughter.

Let’s start with a few verses that are short and powerful. They are easy to memorize and maintain. If your little one gets the memorization but is not ready for the explanation, don’t worry. Get the memorization down, and then go back and entertain the explanation when appropriate.


Begin with one scripture per week. Each week add on a new verse.

  1. 1 John 4:8 God is love.
  2. Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
  3. John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word,and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
  4. Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
  5. Psalm 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
  6. Acts 16:31 Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.
  7. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
  8. Psalm 119:9 How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your Word.

The scriptures here are from the New International Version (NIV) of the Holy Bible. The NIV worked well with my kids because it is easy to understand. Find what works best with your kids. With my kids, we use to set the longer memory verses to song. The song doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be something you can remember. My oldest child is 28 now, and she still remembers the tune we created for the Lord’s Prayer. Have fun and create a special memory with your babies.

BMWK, What do you think about memorizing scripture? Were you raised by an old-school parent who instilled this trait in you?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 186 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills


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