3 Petty Arguments Married Couples Need to Stop Having Now

BY: - 27 Sep '16 | Marriage

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We know it’s not natural to respond to someone with love when they are acting petty, shady or resentful. But it’s more rewarding to reply with love than responding with the same resentment.

It’s easy to take our spouse for granted because they are with us day in and day out. It’s easy because we know that no matter what, they are the one person who will love us to our core.

Personally, I feel like it’s inevitable that we will drive our spouse crazy from time to time. After days, months and years of being together, boundaries tend to be crossed from time to time. And I’m not talking about serious, life-threatening boundaries. I’m talking about petty, harmless but still irritable boundaries. And left unchecked, these can lead to petty arguments, which can then lead to bigger ones. The lack of petty arguments can be the difference between a happy marriage and one that’s not.

Here are three petty arguments married couples need to stop having today:

1. The toilet seat petty
Okay, seriously, how long are you willing to keep having this same argument?  At some point, you just need to accept the fact that some things won’t change, and it’s okay. Leaving the toilet seat up should not be cause for continuous arguments or divorce. Ultimately, what started out as something small, festers into larger issues/arguments. In the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it?

2. The “nothing is wrong” petty
I admit, I was the queen of throwing shade and ‘tude when I was upset at my hubby. As opposed to just coming out and saying what was wrong, I had delight in stomping around and giving him the silent treatment all while saying, “nothing was wrong”. Seriously, that did nothing for either of us. As much as our spouses love us, they will never be able to read our minds. Choosing not to discuss something that’s bothering you is just plain petty.

3. The “I did it last time” petty
Stop keeping score. Marriage is not a game or a match that someone needs to win. Marriage is about compromise. Things don’t always work out the way we want them to and things aren’t always “fair”. Marriage is about service, and part of being of service is to do what you can, when you can without pointing the finger of what your spouse hasn’t done for you lately. I promise when you change your mindset around this, you’ll invite a lot more happiness into your marriage.

I’m sure there can be more added to this list. But these are the ones I hear about most often (and the ones I’ve been guilty of myself). I’ve challenged myself long ago to stop engaging in petty arguments. I’ve wasted valuable time, and I’m sure if you’ve been married longer than a day, then you have too. But the good news is: you can put a stop to it too 🙂

BMWK: What petty arguments are you guilty of engaging in your marriage?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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“Hurry Up, Woman!” 5 Things I’ve Tried to Keep My Wife from Being Late

BY: - 27 Sep '16 | Marriage

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Is it just me, or is every woman born with the late gene? It can be a concert, dinner reservation, flight or cocktail party, but no matter what it is, either we are  going to be late or rushing to be on time.

I don’t know what it is or why it is. Logically, you would think that the only consistent thing is TIME, but my wife still seems to have no concept of it. I try my best to figure out how to make sure we are on time to stuff, but my strategies just don’t seem to be working. I’m gonna tell y’all what I tried, and if you have an always-late spouse, perhaps they can work for you (or if you can think of anything I haven’t tried, I’m all ears).

1. Lying about the time
I know we have all probably tried this route, where if the event is at 8:00pm, we tell her it’s at 7:30 p.m., hoping the extra 30 minutes would mean something.

WELP, let’s just say that hasn’t worked very well because usually she can see right through it. Because, she usually knows our schedule better than me, she already has it mapped out in her mind. Even if she doesn’t know, she will still be rushing at the last minute talking about “I’ll just do my makeup in the car.” Needless to say, I haven’t had a lot of success with this tactic.HotIronHolster2

2. Getting dressed extra early
Sometimes, I’ll do my best to get dressed about an hour before time, so that she sees the urgency in my actions, hoping that will speed her up. I’ll be sitting downstairs waiting with the “you need to hurry up” face… and let’s just say she totally ignores it. By the time she’s changed into three outfits and has seen me roll my eyes at her four times, she still moves at her own pace.

3. Ironing her clothes for her
One day, I had the idea of trying to get more bees with honey, so I thought if I ironed her clothes for her, then I could cut out time from her getting ready process.  Well, not only does she always decide to get the most difficult outfits to iron, but she figures now she has extra time and tries to fit more stuff in.  Now, not only am I frustrated with ironing, but it still doesn’t impact the time. Can you say major fail?

4. Explaining to her the play-by-play
Sometimes, I apply the coaching technique and try to explain to her the play-by-play. I try to draw out the roadmap of time, letting her know to anticipate the traffic, time to park, time to walk to the destination, time to pick up the tickets, etc., but all she can seem to think of is how long the GPS says it will take. The other time constraints seem to mean nothing.

5. Getting an attitude
I can’t lie; sometimes, I just get frustrated and start fussing a little and getting passive aggressive. I express my unhappiness with her being able to be on time, and she might even apologize. BUT, it doesn’t change the fact that we are either late or rushing—neither one is okay with me.

Okay, okay, I know you may think I’m going a little overboard or that it’s not that serious. But it is that serious to me. I enjoy things a lot more when I’m not feeling like I’m in a rush, and I also hate being the late one to walk in. Although, my wife always looks stunning when we step out, it still gets on my nerves. With that said, if you have any other ideas on how I can get my wife to be on time, then let me know…please!

BMWK, wives let me know what you think I should do to help my wife be on time? Fellas, can you relate? What have you tried? Was it a success or fail?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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