My Top 10 List of Really, Really Dumb Things Your Book Smart Spouse Does

BY: - 22 Sep '16 | Marriage

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I have a friend who’s a nuclear physicist. Black guy. Smart as a whip! Ph.D. and PE (professional engineer). He’s one of only six people in the country who can do what he does. But he drives his wife crazy with some of the really, really dumb things he does.

Like…one day, when they arrived home, fresh from surgery on his ruptured Achilles heel, he gets out of the car and heads to the front door with a boot on his right leg. But in route, he looks up and reflects, “I didn’t clean the gutters like I told my wife I would do before the surgery.”

So, under the mask of post-op pain meds, and under the guise of a dutiful husband, he proceeds to get the ladder, scale it and clean the gutters—all while his wife is begging him to come down, go inside and sit his doped-up behind down.

Does your book smart spouse do some really, really dumb things—things that’ll have your eyebrows turned up like this woman’s were? Or are you that book smart spouse?

Here’s my top 10 list of ‘You know you’re a smart spouse that does really really dumb things when’…


        1. When your brand new, waterproof Samsung Note 7 has been recalled because it will explode while charging, but you want to wait until your replacement comes. So, you charge your phone in a pot of water to contain the explosion. (Yes, sad to admit, this was me)
          I should’ve taken my brand new expensive pipe bomb back to AT&T before that thing exploded at my government job—lest I get brought up on some domestic terrorism charges.
        2. When your wife wants to lose weight. So she reads some vegan blogs and starts buying healthy vegan snacks. But she eats the whole bag…talkin’ bout’, “They’re healthy snacks tho.”
          Hey, Biggest Loser! Eating the serving size on the back of the bag is healthy. But you…grazing on the whole bag? Naw shawty…that’s just gluttonous. Check your serving size!
        3. When you volunteer to help your female co-worker start her side-business, and you invite her over your house for a meeting when your wife and kids aren’t home.
          Fool…you bout’ to be found’t butt-naked on the bathroom floor (like Shaggy)…talkin’ bout’ “It wasn’t me” (it’s a song). Don’t you know when you help someone with their passion project, emotions run deep?

  1. When you about to have sex with your wife, and right before you’re about to get started, she asks, “Did you remember to pay the electric bills?”…and just kills the mood.
    Really? That’s what’s on your mind right now? Of course, I did! But if I didn’t…do you really think I’d tell you the truth right now? I need you to get your mind right and save all those questions for afterward.
  2. When you claim you keeping it ‘100’ with your problem child, but your PG-rated stories about your childhood 30 years ago are so corny and outdated compared to the R-rated stuff going on now-a-days.
    Player & Play-ette…just because you tongue-kissed a girl/guy under the bleachers during lunch in high school…and didn’t get caught, doesn’t mean you can relate to the freaky-deeky stuff that’s going down on your child’s social media and DM. You need to get a clue, so you can relate!
  3. When you’re not feeling well, so you do a Google search and self-diagnose your symptoms and start treating yourself with homeopathic herbs from Asia…and never go to the doctor to get confirmation.
    Take your Dr. Oz-watching, green-tea-smoothie-drinkin’ behind to the doctors, and stop acting like is your personal endocrinologist.
  4. When you swear you know the directions, in spite of your wife repeatedly telling you, “It’s the other way!” Then, when you get lost, you blame it on her confusing directions or swear ‘they must have changed the street signs or something”.
    Shut up! Just…shut up!
  5. When you are a saved and sanctified Biblical scholar, but you’re so churchy that you make every encounter with you a “Won’t He do it” moment.
    Listen…Man’d of Gawd…you were just asked to say the grace before dinner. Stop praying so long that me and my neighbor’s hands are getting sweaty. Too deep…way too deep.
  6. When you’re in a group conversation with other couples and your wife starts off a question with, “I haven’t shared this with my husband yet, but…”; and then proceeds to ask the other couples how they would deal with a private issue you didn’t want to discuss publically.
    That’s what you gonna do??? Just put our business out there without first asking me if I’m okay with it? Imma play it off now. But you’re gonna hear about this on the way home.
  7. When you do a small weekend project you saw on HGTV but turn your house into a construction zone for SIX months…talkin’ bout’, “It looked easy”.
    Stop thinking…just because Property Brothers is an hour-long show, don’t think that your non-handyman self can renovate your kitchen in a three-day holiday weekend. Slim…call a contractor!

BMWK – What are some really really dumb things you or your book smart spouse have done?

About the author

Heath Wiggins wrote 83 articles on this blog.

The Purveyor of Understanding - Heath Wiggins married Bernadette (Bernie) Wiggins in October 1997. Together they founded the Family Bootcamp, LLC., a relationship consulting business that helps people improve the communication and trust in relationships. In 2013, Heath launched the blog and book His Leadership Her Trust to combat the lack of trust women had in allowing men be leaders in their relationships. His mission is to teach Christian men how to lead in such a way that women trust, respect, and actually want to them.


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How We Discovered the Secret to a Better Sex Life

BY: - 22 Sep '16 | Home

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I can remember like it was yesterday, Natasha and I had been married for almost two years at that point.

Sex, for most marriages, can be one of the most challenging areas of their marriage. For example: There are couples who have different expectations; couples who don’t have enough time for intimacy or couples who are suffering from a lack of desires in both or one partner, the list goes on.

I got a wake-up call when Natasha said to me, “Babe, I want us to have better sex.”

Now, when I heard her say this, as a man, I immediately heard, “more” sex, which in my head I’m like, “Thank you ,God!” But that is 100 percent not what she meant. Better sex didn’t mean more sex, it meant more intimate sex.

There are so many reasons why having GOOD sex is important for your marriage, but the consequences of not having sex are REAL. When there is increased anxiety about the marriage, insecurity starts to creep in from the person who wants more intimacy. And, yes, this will open the door to a possible affair.

Sex is God’s invention for couples to share in something they will share in with no other person. If someone asked you if a great sex life is a desire for you and your spouse, you most likely will say, “yes.”

But, if we can all be honest, there are many reasons why sex can suffer in our marriages. Whether it be….

1. Not enough time to enjoy one another like you desire.

2. Don’t have the money to invest into your marriage through date nights or marriage events.

3. Awkward to have a real conversation with your spouse about your sex life, particularly if you are embarrassed yourself or afraid of shaming your spouse.

4. Issues outside of the bedroom causing issues in the bedroom (work stress, health issues, relationship issues, etc..

5. Your spouse not wanting to have sex.

Yes, there could be a number fo problems impacting your sex life, but, fortunately, I believe there is one easy first step toward a solution.

The first secret to better sex is simply making the decision to have better sex.

There are so many distractions, and things that can impact your intimacy with your spouse, so you have to draw a line in the sand that you will not allow those things to affect your sex life.

This was the beginning for Natasha and I once she ignited it by her honesty. When both couples are committed to making your marriage better, it should apply to all aspects of the marriage, including the bedroom.

BMWK, seriously, when was the last time you and your spouse talked about how to make your sex life better?

About the author

Jamal Miller wrote 84 articles on this blog.

Jamal Miller is the Co-Founder of Married and, a community committed to doing relationships God’s way, alongside his wife Natasha Miller. He has been involved in Pastoral Ministry for over 8 years, graduating from Christ for the Nations Institute with his Practical Theology Degree and Ecclesia College with his Bachelors in Christian Leadership. His passion for marriage and healthy relationships has influenced thousands to do it God’s way! He is the author of "25 Ways to Prepare for Marriage Other than Dating". Jamal and Natasha reside in Chicago, IL.


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