11 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Are Sick of Waiting for the Ring

BY: - 23 Sep '16 | Relationships

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Someone recently asked me how long is too long to wait for a ring. I didn’t have an answer because I think so many things can factor into how long a woman is willing to wait for a proposal. The choice to wait or not to wait is such a personal decision.

I dated my husband for about six years before we got engaged (and we were friends for four years before we started dating). I was also pretty young when we started dating and didn’t feel the marriage itch until that final year leading up to our engagement.

Would I have waited for another year or two? I don’t know. When you have so much love and history with a person, it’s hard to know when you might reach a breaking point.

But what I do know is everyone has a breaking point. And they should. No one should feel like they are waiting on marriage forever. I also believe the older people are, the clearer they tend to be about what they want in life, so that breaking point may be reached a lot sooner than it would be for someone younger.

I don’t think a woman in her 30s who desires marriage should feel like she has to wait a decade for her man to pop the question. That’s crazy. If a man wants you to be his wife, it doesn’t take 10 years for him to become resolute about that.

He either wants to marry you or he doesn’t.

So what do you do when it’s been a lot longer than you anticipated and you still feel like your man won’t pop the question?

I think you need to start asking yourself a few tough questions, so you can make a decision that sits well with your soul.

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1. Are you in love with him or are you in love with the idea of happily ever after?

2. Are you waiting because the thought of starting over terrifies you?

3. What would your life look like if you moved on?

4. Do you want to start a family and is this waiting game affecting your ability to do that?

5. Are you still happy with him?

6. Do you understand why you are waiting and does the reason sit well with you?

7. Are you truly ready for marriage or does it just feel like the next best step?

8. Is your relationship still growing or are you at a standstill?

9. Do you feel certain that this man is the one?

10. Have you prayed about it—relentlessly?

11. Have you decided when you just won’t be willing to wait anymore?

If you are able to ask yourself these 11 questions, and answer them honestly, I believe you can get some clarity about what your next step should be.

It’s not an easy decision to make. When you have invested a good deal of time, love and energy into building a relationship, walking away is hard. Some may even call it brutal. But staying in a situation that leaves you feeling frustrated and unhappy is just as brutal.

As much as you may be ready to tie the knot, if your partner isn’t, you have to ask yourself if you are truly okay with that. When it comes to matters of the heart, timing is critical. Despite feelings of love, if the timing is off, a relationship can surely fail.

I can’t tell you if you should leave your man or wait some more. What I can tell you is that the only information you need from him is whether or not he’s ready for marriage. If he’s not, don’t give him an ultimatum. Don’t try to convince him that marriage is the next best step. Just dig deep and make a decision that will give you peace.

If you’ve followed all these steps, your decision will sit well with your soul.

BMWK family, how long do you think is too long to wait for him to pop the question?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 490 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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A House Divided; The Do’s and Don’ts of Family Football Rivalries

BY: - 23 Sep '16 | Marriage

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Yes!!!! Football is back!!!! I’m so ready to cheer on my Cowboys!!! Luckily, my husband is a Cowboys fan, too, or else we would have some serious rivalry going on in our house.

But I recognize there are couples who do indeed cheer for different teams. Most of the time, it’s just a playful rivalry. But in the game of football, it’s easy for emotions to go high. In these tense game situations, sometimes a snide remark about someone’s team or a bad down, can send playful banter down into the depths of pettyville.

But do not fear football fans. I have some do’s and don’ts on cheering for different teams while keeping the peace during football season.

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  1. Do play nice! If your teams are playing at different times, surely you guys can support each other right? You could always find common ground by picking a team you both hate. But just Not the Cowboys.
  2. Do invite friends and family over when your teams meet. The extra company will serve as a buffer, and you get free food if you make it a potluck.
  3. Do place bets on the game—friendly ones of course. Depending on how good your team is, you could really clean up in the winnings! Some examples are: not doing dishes for a week. Not cooking for a week. Having your spouse wear your team jersey with nothing else on. Just note, silly bets can take the edge off of losing. You can’t be too sulky after a loss when your punishment is to live stream yourself dancing to the Macarena in your spouse’s football jersey.
  4. Don’t be a sore loser. If your team is a sorry team, you may have to change the terms of your bets or be prepared to pay up. Acknowledge their win and move on. Also don’t be a poor winner. If you’re too focused on rubbing it in, then you could be missing out on that rub down from your spouse after the game.
  5. Don’t let the trash talking take you to another level—after all, it’s just a game. Be aware of how serious your spouse gets when it comes to football. It’s always better to tread on the side of caution with your remarks.
  6. If your spouse’s team is playing the same time as yours, you may need to watch in different rooms. Or you could even head to a sports bar. Or watch it on your tablet. Being the bigger man (or woman) in this situation might even reward you with some good football karma.
  7. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy your quality time together. Be grateful that you both share an interest in the same sport, so use it for bonding time. If you both have busy schedules, this is a great time to bring the family together.

Keep it clean and keep it fun. If you have kids old enough, explain how the game is played and also how your team became your favorite. I’m sure you have some good stories to share. So to all the couples who are fans of rival teams, good luck to you this season. Remember this is the only time it is okay for the house to be divided.

BMWK, how do you handle sports rivalries in your house?

About the author

Latoya Irving wrote 99 articles on this blog.

Latoya Irving is a former Air Force brat who loves writing about relationships, and family. She believes God should be the center of both. She is married with two kids and currently live in Texas.

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