5 Terrifying Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship

BY: - 13 Sep '16 | Relationships

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Have you ever had a friend who seems to be in love with the idea of being in love (but not so much with the actual person she is dating)? Are you that friend?

So what’s the problem with that?

Well, when you’re more in love with the idea of a relationship than the actual person you are in a relationship with, then you’re in store for a host of problems. When you finally admit the warning signs (and exit signs) that you’ve been ignoring all this time, you’ll look up a realize you were in the wrong relationship for far too long.

The saddest part about being in the wrong relationship is settling when you shouldn’t have to. I know it’s tough because sometimes people don’t even realize the relationship they are in is completely wrong.

And being in the wrong relationship doesn’t mean you’re with a bad person. It simply means you are with someone who isn’t right for YOU. We all have unique needs and wants, and settling to be with someone who can’t meet those needs, will never turn out well.

Plus, we all should be with someone who will treat us with the love, respect and support we deserve. Anything less means we’ve chosen the wrong guy or girl. And I should mention that being in love is not enough to justify staying with someone. Being in love doesn’t mean you are in the right relationship. Love is not enough. We all need more than love to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship—the right relationship.

So if you are reading this, wondering if you are where you should be or if the relationship you’re in is all wrong, read on for five signs that you are in the wrong relationship.

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Something feels out of place
Never underestimate the power of a strong gut feeling. When your intuition tells you that something is off, it probably is. Don’t ignore that. Maybe it’s something he said or maybe it’s something he did that you just can’t shake. Whatever it is, never continue investing in a relationship that leaves you feeling unsettled.

You aren’t being treated well
No one deserves to be disrespected, mistreated or taken advantage of. If your mate dishes out abuse in any form, you are with the WRONG person. And even if you wouldn’t classify the poor treatment as abuse, if you know you deserve to be treated better, you need to walk away, so you can be in the right relationship with the right person.

You are involved for the wrong reasons
There are so many good reasons to be with someone, but there are just as many bad reasons. If you are with someone for superficial reasons, those won’t be enough to build a strong relationship. There has to be some substance involved. Your relationship has to be about more than just income and physical attraction. When you are with the right person, your reasons for choosing that mate will still matter in years to come. That’s what real love is about.

You are always making excuses for him
I have been around women who seem to make 101 excuses for why their man has behaved a certain way. Now whether you are publicly making excuses for him or you are just making up excuses in your own head, it’s a sure sign that you are in the wrong relationship. You won’t ever see the need to constantly make excuses for your mate when you are in the right relationship. A mate truly invested in fostering a 50/50 partnership in love and life will want to take every action within his power to make you happy—and that’s something you shouldn’t have to excuse.

The idea of forever is not appealing
If marriage is part of your plan, but the idea of forever with this person feels unbearable, you are in the wrong relationship. It’s okay if you just don’t feel ready for marriage in general, but if marrying a particular person makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, you probably haven’t found the right person yet.

BMWK family, how do you know if you’re in the wrong relationship?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 494 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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5 Things Your Man Is Dying for You to Start Doing Again!

BY: - 13 Sep '16 | Marriage

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NEWSFLASH LADIES…MEN want to feel desired too!!!! Okay, now that I’ve gotten your attention, let me back up.

I often say that everybody wants to matter to somebody, and I say that because we all have this human desire to belong. Well, when we get into relationships and marriages, that doesn’t change.

When we first meet someone, we do everything we can to make sure the person we are with feels wanted and desired, and it’s not hard to do. It’s not hard because our hormones are on 100, lust is in the air and the art of the chase is still fresh.

As time progresses, the common narrative is that men stop making their women feel desired. But as I speak with more and more folks, I’m realizing the opposite is true!

Many men are suffering from NDD (or what I call No Desire Disorder). It may come as a surprise, ladies, because he may not have mentioned anything to you. This is likely because he didn’t want to come off as “needy” or “soft.”

Sometimes NND comes across as attitude, passive aggressive behavior or a desire for attention from other women (yeah I said it!); it isn’t just him being a bad man or a dog. Sometimes, it’s him being human and crying out for attention.

There are a million platforms telling men how to make their women feel desired but here are a few tips for you, ladies, who may have men suffering from NDD!

1) We like compliments too!
Ladies, you know how good it feels when your man notices you, right? When he notices the new outfit, a new hairstyle, your workout results and he compliments you on it, it feels good, right?

Well, sometimes your man wants you to notice him too! Give him a compliment on his new haircut, bigger biceps, different cologne or just about something he has done great as a man or as a mate…ANYTHING! It’s not about stroking his ego, but it’s about taking time to notice.

2) Get touchy feely like you used to
Remember when you used to sit on his lap all the time or stroke his neck and back or when your hands wandered all over whenever he was in arm’s reach? Remember the play fights that turned into intense love making sessions? Yeah, that stuff…ALL THAT STUFF…start doing that again! Trust me, it will get the juices flowing and keep a smile on your man’s face, a big one.

3) Take some interest in his hobbies
If you support a man in his endeavors, it shows you believe in him. And when he feels like you believe in him, he feels desired. Instead of knocking everything he finds interest in and saying it’s a waste of time and money, maybe try engaging in it with him.

If he loves playing basketball, maybe go see his game and be a cheerleader. If he loves video games, maybe ask him if you can play with him sometimes. You don’t have to become an expert in the things he loves, but a little interest never hurts.

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4) Catch him doing something right sometimes
So often, many men are left feeling like they can’t ever get anything right when it comes to their spouses. That doesn’t make a man feel desired; it makes him feel like a burden to you, and there isn’t anything sexy about that. Instead of pointing out his flaws, maybe revisit some of the things you actually love about him. I mean aren’t you with him for a reason!?

5) INITIATE SEX…INITIATE SEX…INITIATE SEX!!
Ladies one of the sexiest things you can do is make your man feel desired by initiating the loving. I have yet to hear a man say he doesn’t like to be pursued by his woman.

Men want to feel desired as well, and men want to feel like they still do it for you. Oh, if you’re waiting on the perfect time to do this…ANYTIME is the perfect time…trust me!

Ladies, don’t allow your man to suffer from NDD. Just know that he wants to feel desired just like you do. When you have two people in a relationship who feel like they matter to each other, it’s amazing how much better things are!

BMWK, what ways do you most appreciate when your spouse shows you love and attention?

 

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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