Single Ladies: How to Deal When Your Prince Charming Isn’t Perfect

BY: - 12 Sep '16 | Single

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In the lovey-dovey honeymoon stage of relationships, things usually seem to fit into place. Every romantic date is summed up with the perfect caption for your photos posted to social media.

When that stage eventually ends, relationships get real; they get tested and the imperfections begin to materialize. So what happens when you find out your “perfect guy” is not so perfect after all?

Maybe they have a bad habit that you notice. Maybe they are aware of their flaw, and it’s something that they are trying to improve on but fall short at times. Women and men have options in their response to one another’s confessed sins in committed relationships. There are times when rebuke is necessary, and there are times when you need to hear your man out as he admits that he’s not perfect.

This is one reason why marriage is a ministry: you are in it to help them become a better version of themselves for God’s glory.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 NIV

It takes a real man to admit when he’s wrong, even more so, when he admits that he’s weak. Even if you remove the extreme scenario of cheating from this example, there are other flaws and bad behaviors that can test how far a relationship can go.

For example, what if he revealed he had horrible credit, thus signaling he has poor money management skills? Or what if he revealed he had a smoking habit that he was hiding from you until now? What if you realized his constant need to please others (mom, friends, coworkers, etc) was driving a wedge in between your relationship?

Ladies, we have the opportunity to speak life and build up our men. Yes, you might desire your man to change but that shouldn’t be done by bringing him down with accusations of weakness or worse. Doing that doesn’t help your man be open to you in the future. I mean, if you reward honest confession with belittling, why would they voluntarily be honest with you again?

We humans tend to avoid conflict to keep the peace. So if that means your man would hold something back to avoid your wrath then he just might do that.

But ladies, when you say “yes” to your future spouse, you make a choice and a commitment to love this man with all his strengths and weaknesses. You commit to love him with an unconditional love as God loves you both. We are called to do more than what the flesh wants to do and tear our men down.

We have a duty as helpmeets to help them, support them, pray for them, and do so with a quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). Depending on the wrongdoing that may be very hard to do! But I write this to prepare you for the inevitable and to respond appropriately. Often times it’s not even your man, it’s the spirit of the matter that you’ll have to fight against with God’s word and fervent prayer.

You need the power of God to take over your response instead of your flesh because the first reaction may be to act in offense, confusion, anger and more. Taking the issue to God before taking it in your own hands can help resolve the issue much sooner because, at the end of the day, we cannot change him. We can only change our responses. Let’s seek to respond in love and meet him where he’s located with grace.

“Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins (forgives and disregards the offenses of others).” 1 Peter 4:8 AMP

BMWK family, how do you handle other people’s not so perfect moments?

About the author

Tatianah Green wrote 77 articles on this blog.

Tatianah Green is a multimedia content creator and editor with a passion for writing. In 2012 she launched the blog {Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles} to encourage singles in faith and love. She is also a contributing writer for several other websites including Culture and God, Single Matters, and The Wire Hanger By Winnie. She recently published her first book entitled Journey to 30: A Single Woman's Guide to Living Unapologetically Without Deadlines. As she embraces her thirties, Tatianah works, plays and lives unapologetically for Christ in Chicago. Connect with her on Twitter and Instagram at @tfortrendsetta


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5 Terrifying Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship

BY: - 13 Sep '16 | Relationships

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Have you ever had a friend who seems to be in love with the idea of being in love (but not so much with the actual person she is dating)? Are you that friend?

So what’s the problem with that?

Well, when you’re more in love with the idea of a relationship than the actual person you are in a relationship with, then you’re in store for a host of problems. When you finally admit the warning signs (and exit signs) that you’ve been ignoring all this time, you’ll look up a realize you were in the wrong relationship for far too long.

The saddest part about being in the wrong relationship is settling when you shouldn’t have to. I know it’s tough because sometimes people don’t even realize the relationship they are in is completely wrong.

And being in the wrong relationship doesn’t mean you’re with a bad person. It simply means you are with someone who isn’t right for YOU. We all have unique needs and wants, and settling to be with someone who can’t meet those needs, will never turn out well.

Plus, we all should be with someone who will treat us with the love, respect and support we deserve. Anything less means we’ve chosen the wrong guy or girl. And I should mention that being in love is not enough to justify staying with someone. Being in love doesn’t mean you are in the right relationship. Love is not enough. We all need more than love to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship—the right relationship.

So if you are reading this, wondering if you are where you should be or if the relationship you’re in is all wrong, read on for five signs that you are in the wrong relationship.


Something feels out of place
Never underestimate the power of a strong gut feeling. When your intuition tells you that something is off, it probably is. Don’t ignore that. Maybe it’s something he said or maybe it’s something he did that you just can’t shake. Whatever it is, never continue investing in a relationship that leaves you feeling unsettled.

You aren’t being treated well
No one deserves to be disrespected, mistreated or taken advantage of. If your mate dishes out abuse in any form, you are with the WRONG person. And even if you wouldn’t classify the poor treatment as abuse, if you know you deserve to be treated better, you need to walk away, so you can be in the right relationship with the right person.

You are involved for the wrong reasons
There are so many good reasons to be with someone, but there are just as many bad reasons. If you are with someone for superficial reasons, those won’t be enough to build a strong relationship. There has to be some substance involved. Your relationship has to be about more than just income and physical attraction. When you are with the right person, your reasons for choosing that mate will still matter in years to come. That’s what real love is about.

You are always making excuses for him
I have been around women who seem to make 101 excuses for why their man has behaved a certain way. Now whether you are publicly making excuses for him or you are just making up excuses in your own head, it’s a sure sign that you are in the wrong relationship. You won’t ever see the need to constantly make excuses for your mate when you are in the right relationship. A mate truly invested in fostering a 50/50 partnership in love and life will want to take every action within his power to make you happy—and that’s something you shouldn’t have to excuse.

The idea of forever is not appealing
If marriage is part of your plan, but the idea of forever with this person feels unbearable, you are in the wrong relationship. It’s okay if you just don’t feel ready for marriage in general, but if marrying a particular person makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, you probably haven’t found the right person yet.

BMWK family, how do you know if you’re in the wrong relationship?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at To work with her, visit her at Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.


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