5 Things Insanely Happy Couples Do Without Hesitation

BY: - 21 Oct '16 | Marriage

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I was recently having a conversation with a friend, and the subject came down to the word “abundance” and what that means in a marriage.

It later got me thinking about what makes me insanely happy to be married to my husband. I realized there were quite a few habits we developed in our marriage that come as second nature. We do them without hesitation and without expecting anything in return.

Here are five things that insanely happy couples do without hesitation:

They encourage one another

Insanely happy couples don’t get jealous of each other. They don’t try to hold the other back from achieving their goals. Instead, they encourage them to go after those dreams and goals. They encourage one another when self-doubt tries to rear its ugly head or when the outside world tries to make them feel less than.

They lean on one another

When the going gets tough, insanely happy couples know who they can lean on without any questions asked. They know that there is no weight too big for their spouse to hold up. The beauty of this couple is that they never take count of how many times they’ve been leaned on. Instead, they offer both shoulders if needed.

They genuinely care

Insanely happy couples genuinely care about each others’ well-being. They take the time to actually ask and listen to how each others’ day/night went. They don’t brush off things that look out of place or feelings that have been shared. They show concern for one another.

They greet each other with love

It doesn’t matter how you’re feeling in that moment about your spouse or about life in general. When your boo thang enters the door, you greet him or her with a hug and kiss. There’s something about when your spouse is still excited to see you when you enter the room that makes you a happy person.

They end and begin their day with each other

Insanely happy couples (whether in person, through text or virtually) communicate with each other as the first and last thing they do in their day. Two phrases my husband and I say (mostly text since he works at night) every day to each other: “Good morning, Love” and “Goodnight, Love.” It’s so simple, yet so powerful.

BWMK: What are some habits you and your spouse commit to regularly to sustain an insanely happy marriage?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

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3 Hard Lessons Learned When You’re Involved with an All-Talk, No-Action Mate

BY: - 21 Oct '16 | Marriage

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Relationships are hard work. This is obviously why couples seek out relationship coaches like me. And if you were to ask which particular challenge happens more than any other among my clients, I’d say it’s when their partner’s actions don’t line up with their words.

When actions don’t align with words in a relationship that can be very problematic—and even toxic in some cases. Let me share some examples of why.

I was working with someone who was dating a man, who was dating multiple women.  One of the other women was the “main girl,” my client was one of the “side chicks.”  She was so caught up in the mystery of this guy that she continued to try to support him as he claimed he would leave these other women (all talk, right?). He would even come to her and vent to her about how the other women were treating him.

This is a toxic relationship, and it showed her struggle with self-esteem and her own self-worth.  After three years with this guy, he left her and stayed with the main girl. This is an example of his actions not lining up in any way with his words, and she continued to be abused because of this.

I know another couple who has been together for about 10 years.  I know the woman in the relationship wanted to get married, but she never forced the issue. The guy stayed around and hinted at marriage (all talk, right?), but he wouldn’t do anything to move them closer to the alter.

Over time, they had two children. The children are still small, but the guy has decided marriage doesn’t make sense, so he decided to move on.

Again, this is a case of actions not lining up with words.  How long does it take for you to decide enough is enough?  He never fully intended to marry this woman—if so, his actions would have produced a ring.  For him, the pros outweighed the cons in the status quo of the relationship, so he was along for the ride (pun intended), and it was never any more than that for him.

Lastly, I had another client who would say what she was going to do (all talk, right?), but then she wouldn’t do it.  Her significant other asked for space, and she wouldn’t give it to him.  She felt he was lucky to have her, and she intended to make it a point for him to recognize it.

Needless to say, she pushed him away.  If you say you are going to give someone space, make it happen.  If you have no intention of doing so, don’t say this is what you are going to do.  Line up your words with your actions.

The often-used cliché “don’t talk about it be about it” is more than a cliché when it comes to relationships.  It should be a way of life.  Your actions mean more to your commitment than anything you could ever say.  On the other side of the relationship, watch for the actions to line up with the words.

If they don’t line up and if the only thing about them that is consistent is that their words are consistently empty, it’s time to explore other options for the sake of your own well-being.

BMWK, have you ever been in a relationship with an all-talk no action person? Also, ask yourself an honest question: do you think you always back up your words with action?

About the author

Jay Hurt wrote 85 articles on this blog.

Jay Hurt is a Relationship Coach, columnist and author of the book, The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship (http://9tenetsonline.com/about-the-book ). Jay’s focus is working with people who want to design better relationships and get more out of life!

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