Ladies, 3 Character Flaws You Can’t Afford to Ignore When Choosing a Man

BY: - 21 Oct '16 | Relationships

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There is no perfect man or woman out there. If you are searching for the perfect one, go ahead and relax because you won’t ever find what you are looking for. But if you are looking for the right partner to spend a lifetime with, don’t give up. He’s out there. I am sure of it.

I think we all have a match out there. Finding someone you love and are able to spend a lifetime with isn’t some impossible feat. However, you can’t go falling for the first nice person who comes along. Before you even think about settling down, you have to be willing to ask yourself some really tough questions.

Are you settling?

Are you ignoring red flags?

Do you feel like you deserve better?

Are you constantly making excuses for your mate?

Now, anyone you choose to be with will be flawed. All people have bad habits and areas they need to work on. But there are some things we can’t forgive. There are certain character flaws that cannot be ignored.

If you are dating someone that exhibits any of the character flaws below, I beg you to pump the brakes and really think about whether or not this is the right person for you to spend your life with.


I am not suggesting people can’t stop being selfish. But I am suggesting that your mate won’t stop being selfish just because you want him to. People bring an end to selfishness when they are mature enough and ready to do so.

It doesn’t matter how much you love a selfish person, your love won’t change who that person is. When someone is incapable of putting your needs before his own, you have to move with caution.

Also, observe how your mate is with others in his life. Is his selfishness a pattern, a way of life? If so, do you really think he will just wake up and change?

You can certainly address this behavior with your mate to determine if he acknowledges it and ask if he is ready for change. But if your conversations always result in a lack of acknowledgement, you have to ask yourself if this is the person you want to be with forever.

Abusive Behavior

I know several women who have been physically and/or emotionally abused. I’ve always been there for them, but watching them suffer has been heartbreaking. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Even if it just seems like it is just a minor aggression. Typically abusive behavior doesn’t improve without intervention. It usually gets worse. And it can be almost impossible for a woman to convince an abusive mate to seek help. I believe in the power of love, but I also know that love does not conquer all.

Love won’t make someone stop hitting you. Love won’t make someone stop talking down to you. Love won’t make you feel good when someone is dead set on making you feel small. If you notice abusive qualities, walk away. It’s a character flaw you can’t afford to deal with and one you can’t spend your lifetime hoping to change.

Damaged Relationships

We’ve all made mistakes. We all have relationships in our lives that are hurting and in need of repair. But when you notice that someone you are dating has a pattern of damaged relationships, don’t keep moving forward blindly.

If a man is having trouble with his mother, his child’s mother and even with his actual child, don’t fall for any crap he’s feeding you about how everyone else is at fault.

If all the relationships in your life that should matter most are damaged, you have played some role in the demise of those relationships. There is no way around that fact. If your man is suggesting that everyone has done him wrong and he’s this great guy, I suggest you dig a little deeper to find out what’s really going on. Patterns like this should never be ignored.

BMWK, what are some character flaws you believe should never be ignored?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at To work with her, visit her at Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.


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5 Things Insanely Happy Couples Do Without Hesitation

BY: - 21 Oct '16 | Marriage

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I was recently having a conversation with a friend, and the subject came down to the word “abundance” and what that means in a marriage.

It later got me thinking about what makes me insanely happy to be married to my husband. I realized there were quite a few habits we developed in our marriage that come as second nature. We do them without hesitation and without expecting anything in return.

Here are five things that insanely happy couples do without hesitation:

They encourage one another

Insanely happy couples don’t get jealous of each other. They don’t try to hold the other back from achieving their goals. Instead, they encourage them to go after those dreams and goals. They encourage one another when self-doubt tries to rear its ugly head or when the outside world tries to make them feel less than.

They lean on one another

When the going gets tough, insanely happy couples know who they can lean on without any questions asked. They know that there is no weight too big for their spouse to hold up. The beauty of this couple is that they never take count of how many times they’ve been leaned on. Instead, they offer both shoulders if needed.

They genuinely care

Insanely happy couples genuinely care about each others’ well-being. They take the time to actually ask and listen to how each others’ day/night went. They don’t brush off things that look out of place or feelings that have been shared. They show concern for one another.

They greet each other with love

It doesn’t matter how you’re feeling in that moment about your spouse or about life in general. When your boo thang enters the door, you greet him or her with a hug and kiss. There’s something about when your spouse is still excited to see you when you enter the room that makes you a happy person.

They end and begin their day with each other

Insanely happy couples (whether in person, through text or virtually) communicate with each other as the first and last thing they do in their day. Two phrases my husband and I say (mostly text since he works at night) every day to each other: “Good morning, Love” and “Goodnight, Love.” It’s so simple, yet so powerful.

BWMK: What are some habits you and your spouse commit to regularly to sustain an insanely happy marriage?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.


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