3 Ways to Use Your Individual Power to Better Your Relationship

BY: - 11 Nov '16 | Marriage

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One of the things I hear all too often in relationships is, “how can I change my spouse?”

I think it’s very important to remember what you can control and what you can’t control. You can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. You’ve can’t change your spouse, thinking if he or she changes, that will improve your relationship.

But one thing we can control is how you grow and utilize your individual power in that relationship.  But before I lose you, let me share some examples.


No matter what the situation is in your relationship, regardless of the level of frustration, we still have to have a heart to serve our mates in our marriages. By “serving,” I mean doing everything in your power to cater to their needs, wants, emotions, welfare, inspirations, etc.

Sometimes, things won’t be perfect.  Financial situations will be stressful, children will be children and a multitude of things can be overwhelming.  My wife and I have dealt with some of these issues in our own marriage. I have made it a point to remember to serve.

When you serve your spouse, it reminds them you aren’t going anywhere.  It reminds them why you started this journey in the first place because you love and adore them.  Serving is powerful!


You might wonder how listening to someone else could give you power.  Listening is powerful because it shows how much you care about your spouse.  When you honestly hear someone else’s concerns, you can work together to come up with a resolution.

I have a client I have been working with who had a situation where she didn’t listen. We helped her to learn to listen, and simply by listening, her marriage is better. When we don’t listen, we don’t understand each other, and it’s much more difficult to resolve issues. When we don’t listen, we give away our power to communicate effectively in our marriage.


One of the best ways to control what you can control in your marriage is to make you marriage a priority.  Put your spouse and the health of you marriage before your hobbies and even your career.

I know a couple who broke up numerous times (while they were dating).  The major reason behind their separations was because the guy didn’t make the woman a priority. He figured out that he wasn’t making their relationship a priority as well. Once he figured it out, he changed his perspective and got his woman back.  hey ultimately got married and have a healthy relationship because he decided to make her the priority in his life.

One of the main points of this article is that power is not about dominating or having a domineering personality. The power you have in your relationship is about how you apply your commitment to the well-being of your relationship. Your partner won’t always be right, or perfect, but you can help them know that you have their back anyway. The ways in which you show the depth of your commitment summarizes the power you have in your marriage.

BMWK, what other ways can you use your individual power to make your marriage better?

About the author

Jay Hurt wrote 85 articles on this blog.

Jay Hurt is a Relationship Coach, columnist and author of the book, The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship (http://9tenetsonline.com/about-the-book ). Jay’s focus is working with people who want to design better relationships and get more out of life!


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Husbands: 3 Powerful Prayers to Cover Your Marriage from Spiritual Attack

BY: - 14 Nov '16 | Faith

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There is nothing more beautiful than a husband praying over his wife. Lift her up before God each day, asking for God’s power, protection and peace. When a man covers his marriage in prayer, you know he is serious.

Start here and then keep building upon your marriage with work and prayer. Every place you see a blank insert your wife’s name.

  1. Pray for her peace
    God, You are the Lord of peace. So, You are able to keep _________________’s mind in perfect peace. Let the peace of Christ rule her heart, so her days are filled with Your joy. As she is filled with Your joy, may the fragrance of that joy fill our home. No matter how challenging, allow for the circumstances of life to not burden her, because Your peace transcends all understanding. Your face shines toward her, and she is filled with Your everlasting peace.

Scripture: 2 Thessalonians 3:16; Isaiah 26:3; Colossians 3:15; Numbers 6:25-26; Philippians 4:7

Also Read: Wives 3 Power Prayers to Cover Your Marriage from the Temptations Trying to Tear It Down

  1. Talk to God about her love for Him
    Father, I pray that You remain her first love. I pray that __________________ seeks You first in everything. From our marriage, the children, health to finances, may she always know that our help lies solely in You. Our help comes from You the Lord who made heaven and earth. ________________’s heart is open to You. She loves You unconditionally with all her heart, soul and mind. Thank you, Father, for loving her and teaching her how to love as You love. I know when she expresses her love toward me and the children, we are being touched by the love of God for she is an extension of You.

Scripture: Matthew 6:33; Psalm 121:2, 86:11; Mark 12:30

  1. Protect our hearts when we feel like enemies
    Lord, show us how to love and not hate, bless and not curse, pray and not abuse one another. Teach us to trust in You for our understanding in every situation. Protect us from spiritual attack that would come against us and cause division. Give me understanding of Your daughter and open my eyes to her needs for I know she is my inheritance from You. Because of Your strength ________________ and I are a three-cord strand not easily broken; we are on the same team. You have not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of love, power and a sound mind. So, we make decisions not based in fear, anxiety or anger but based in love—a love that is not easily angered, always hopes and protects and keeps no record of wrong. This is how we live our married life before You as an offering and a blessing. Thank you Lord for blessing our marriage and protecting us, even from one another.

Scripture: Luke 6:27-28; Proverbs 3:5; Ephesians 1:18, 4:12; 2Tim 1:7; 1Corinthians 13:4-8

God wants us to talk to him about our relationship. He wants our marriage to succeed. I’ve been praying over my marriage for 29 years now. It’s just a regular part of my life. Pray during your quiet time. Pray in your car. It doesn’t matter when, as the big tennis shoe company says, “Just do it.”

BMWK, how do you prayer together as a couple?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 186 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills


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