Hey, Busy Moms, Here’s What Your Lack of Self-Care is Really Doing to Your Family

BY: - 29 Nov '16 | Marriage

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If you are a wife and a mother, chances are you regularly play on #teamtoomuch. You have 101 things to do, and it never seems like there are enough hours in the day to get it all done.

It’s exhausting.

And sadly, it gets more exhausting for so many of us during this time of the year. Cooking, cleaning, working, shopping—the to-do list never seems to end. And we can’t just wake up one day and decide that we want no part of the busyness because it’s too much. That’s not what good moms and wives do, right?

And listen, I get it. I’m a wife and a mom, and I know how overwhelming it can get when we try to juggle all the responsibilities in our lives while working to keep the people we love happy. It’s a lot!

But I also know the damage that awaits us if we don’t take a step back, look at our lives closely and make self-care a priority. It may seem selfish to focuse on yourself when everyone needs you but it’s not.

It’s actually the very best thing you can do for yourself and your family.

When we fail to put ourselves first, we can’t take care of our bodies, minds and spirits. We end up feeling depleted and sometimes discouraged. I guarantee that’s not the version of yourself that you want your family to get.

A lack of consistent self-care can lead to…

  • Exhaustion
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Being Overwhelmed
  • Depression
  • Poor nutrition
  • Lack of exercise
  • Weight gain
  • Anger
  • Moodiness
  • TNMBusinessWomanStressedThinkPray

Now a stressful week or month won’t result in all of these conditions, so I certainly am not trying to alarm anyone. But when neglecting self-care is your norm, and it becomes your way of life, you will slowly see these things creep up.

It’s not sudden, so we often don’t see it coming. We just move through our lives and keep on going because that’s what we do. We feel stressed out or sad, but we blow it off because we think we need to snap out of it. Busy moms and wives don’t have time to slow down because they feel tired, sad or stressed. We keep going, right?

Wrong!

We can’t just keep going. We can’t continue to neglect our physical and mental health because the people we love need us. When we do that, we end up turning into a HOT mess. We lose sight of who we are and what we want from life. We become too tired to think straight and can’t even recall what it means to relax and be still.

And do you know what this does to your family unit?

It damages what you are trying to build.

Being exhausted and stressed out and overwhelmed doesn’t serve you or anyone you love. It affects your mood. It changes how you interact with your children and spouse. It reduces how much patience you have. It leaves you feel frustrated and sometimes unappreciated.

In the long run, you suffer, and so does everyone in your family.

Sure, you do all that ripping and running for them. You want them to feel happy and safe and loved. And maybe at first, you are doing just that. But it doesn’t last. Running on an empty tank changes who you are, and it starts to take away from why you are doing so much for them in the first place.

So step back. Ask for help. Go to therapy. Say “no” to a few more things. Rest. Breathe. Be still.

Just because you have super powers doesn’t mean you need to use them all the time. You can just let those powers rest and enjoy being a mere mortal. After all, those days as a mortal are what makes life so amazing.

BMWK, moms are you guilty of not putting yourself first? Do you think you’ll be able to refocus on yourself? why or why not?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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From Your Husband with Love; 5 Things Men Wish You Knew About Marriage

BY: - 29 Nov '16 | Marriage

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Dear Current & Future Wives,

Okay, so let me go ahead and get this part out of the way! I know most women reading this first thought will be like “well, here we go again, why is it always about what women need to do.” All I ask you to do is read this letter with an open heart and mind and attempt to try and understand where many men are coming from so that we can bridge gaps and make relationships stronger. Deal???

Know this…your man loves you! Yup, understand that when a man makes the decision to make you his wife, it’s not done because of the flashy wedding, or ring or extra attention. He makes the decision because he loves you and wants to be with you more than anything or anyone else. Sometimes though, once we marry you, there are things that many of us feel are forgotten, and we just want to bring them back to your attention.

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 1) We want to have sex…. often!

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just because we are some horny animals that just like to hump you. It’s because it helps us to feel connected to you, and it’s one of the biggest ways we express intimacy. It helps us release stress, and it also helps us feel wanted and desired by you.

YES, all of that matters! We know that you won’t always feel like it, and we respect that. But you can’t always have a headache, and you can’t always be too tired. Furthermore, you can’t always act like it’s a task because we want you to want us just like we want you.

The more you make it seem like a task, the less interested we will become, and that’s not good for anyone! If you ask many men what is the No.1 thing driving a wedge in their relationship/marriage this is usually at the top of the list, and it’s not about the orgasm…it’s about the connection.

 2) We want to be made a priority!

So many men have grown to just deal with the fact that we are used as a prop or an accessory in the relationship and not a priority. Everything from the kids, to the in-laws, to the church family, to the job, seem to be given attention first. But for some reason, when your husband asks for it, he is too “needy.” Remember you married us and made vows to us, not everything else.

 3) We want you to love YOU like we do!

Everything is better in our marriages and relationships when you are feeling good about YOU. When you feel good about yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically, your energy is just better and everything is happier. Truth is we love you beyond your flaws and insecurities, and we want you to do the same things. Yeah, so, YES, we still like you even with those stretch marks or even that little baby pooch .

 4) We want you to love us beyond social media!

One thing that makes us feel patronized and upset is when you try harder to look like a great wife than actually being a great wife. When you make it look like you’re happy and that your family is the most important thing, yet behind closed doors, it’s the opposite, and that’s not okay with us. We want YOU and all of you, and we want the same love and attention and effort that you put into social media.

5) Last but not least…. we want to make you happy!

Ladies, we might not always get it right, and we may not always do things 100 percent the way you want us to do it, but know that we do want to see you happy. We want you to be proud of us, and we want to matter to you. We need you, and we want you to need us as well. Instead of everything being an ego struggle or a who’s right vs. who’s wrong struggle, all we really want is for you to try and understand us and then meet us half way.

Is that too much to ask? Can we make that happen??

P.S. Yeah, we know…it goes both ways so…it doesn’t mean we want you to listen any less though!

Sincerely,

Husbands Who Still Care!

BMWK wives, what do you wish your husbands knew about marriage?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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