4 Marriage Goals for Couples Who Want to Thrive in the New Year

BY: - 2 Dec '16 | Marriage

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It’s that time of the year. The time where everyone starts focusing on goal-setting and things they want to accomplish in the new year. And if you haven’t been including a list of goals for your marriage every year, now is the time to start.

This past weekend, my parent’s celebrated 50 years of marriage (here are the tips they shared a few years ago). When I introduced my parents to a good friend of mine, she let them know they were an inspiration and that their celebration was a part of her “marriage goals”.

But guess what? You can’t get to celebrate 50 years of marriage just because you wish, pray and hope for it. Like any goal, it takes intentional planning and preparation. Most people don’t get married with the goal of going through a divorce. Love is only the beginning of a successful and happy marriage.

You have to be strategic not just in life or your career but in marriage too. And like other areas of your life, your marriage needs clearly defined goals month after month, year after year.

Every couple should strive for longevity in their marriage. What does that look like for you? Don’t wait until things look bad to start thinking of how you want to fix them. As you create your marriage goals for the new year, ask yourself a few questions:

  • How do you want your marriage to improve over the next 12 months?
  • What are some activities you would like to incorporate or get back to doing?
  • What are you willing to start, stop or give up in order to achieve these marriage goals?
  • Why are marriage goals important to you?

Here are five marriage goals to keep in mind when it comes to thriving (not just surviving) in your marriage:

Spiritual goals

Do you want to start praying together? Do you want to start going to a Bible study together or just start reading the Bible together? What are some ways that you want to increase your spirituality as it directly relates to your marriage? Having and nurturing a spiritual connection is important in a marriage.

Intimacy goals

Before you can have a great sex life, your overall intimacy has to be intact. If there are insecurities on either end, it is that much harder to enjoy intimacy in the bedroom. Do you need to check in on your spouse more? Do you need to start paying more attention to their love language? Do they need to hear how much you appreciate and love them?

Dating goals

Finding time to date can be a challenge. But if you’re lacking in intimacy, you may need to focus more energy on creating time to date your spouse regularly. And don’t be afraid to create a new definition of what dating looks like in your marriage. Do you want breakfast in bed once a month, or do you want to take a cooking class? Is there an activity or show you’ve been wanting to do/see but have been putting it off?

Financial goals

Beyond saving for a house, or car, or trip or college fund, what will it feel like to get or have these things once you achieve them? Do you want to make new investments or increase your current ones?

Don’t just talk these goals over with your spouse. Get committed to them. Write them down, and evaluate how you’re doing on (at least) a quarterly basis.

BMWK: Do you create marriage goals every year with your spouse? What else would you add to this list? How does your relationship change when you focus on goals together?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.


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4 Prayers for Peace in Your Marriage When It Hits Hard Times

BY: - 2 Dec '16 | Faith

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Peace is something we all need. I know I don’t want to live life with a bunch of arguing, fussing and fighting. I don’t want to live with worry, sadness or depression. All these things rob you of peace. If you are anything like me, peace is an essential part of the marriage relationship. The four short prayers here are all about talking to God and making confession over the peace in your marriage relationship (each place you see a blank insert your spouse’s name).

  1. Lord, I pray for your peace to rule richly in my marriage and in my home. You said in your Word that the peace you give passes all understanding. I receive that peace right now. I choose to let the peace of Christ rest in my heart. As the peace of Christ rest in my heart, it will extend to my marriage.

Scripture: Colossians 3:15; John 14:27

  1. Father, all the circumstances and emotional upheaval that cause us anger, bitterness, frustration and hurt, I turn them over to you, and I promote peace in my marriage. You are a God of peace and not a God of disorder. In Proverbs, it says that those who promote peace receive joy. When things are looking crazy, it is the peace that transcends all understanding that will maintain joy in our marriage.

Scripture: Proverbs 12:20; Philippians 4:7; 1 Corinthians 14:33

  1. Peace is a blessing, and it belongs to us. You, our Heavenly Father, have granted _________________ and I this good and perfect gift. We are filled with love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Because of these fruits, we remain on one accord not allowing the cares of the world to disrupt our peace.

Scripture: James 1:17; Galatians 5:22-23; Psalm 29:11

  1. My marriage is a refuge and a safe place. I do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, I repay evil with blessing because I want the words of my mouth to be acceptable in your sight. I dwell with ____________________ according to wisdom. I ask that you continue to increase that wisdom as we continue to lift our marriage up before you.

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:9; Psalm 19:14; James 1:5

Praying for peace is outstanding, but we must do more than pray. We must put action behind our prayers. We pray in faith believing what we pray. Then we act because faith without works (or action) is dead. Actions that line up with our prayer will cause us to grow. Continue praying these four prayers and add in some patience, a little love and a kind word. That’s what I’m going to do.

Listen, when you begin to pray over the peace in your marriage, it may feel like everything is coming against you. Don’t give up. Stand through the challenge. Declare and decree what is yours, and walk in the peace that passes all understanding. The peace that already belongs to you. Take hold of it, and don’t let go.

BMWK what prayers do you pray for peace in your marriage?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 186 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills


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