It’s the holiday season. It would be great to go to a friend’s holiday or New Year’s party with your wife. But then you think about the antisocial, disconnected mug that will be plastered on your wife’s face and how it will only make the whole situation awkward. You’ll likely then find yourself trying to explain away your wife’s antisocial attitude…again.
So you ponder…should I go by yourself and have fun without her, in which you live out your dual personality…the one when she’s around and the one when she’s not. Or should I stay home, which will make me highly frustrated and resent her?
It sucks to have friends that don’t get along with your wife.
Before I got married, I expected my wife, BerNadette (Bernie), to fully embrace my group of friends. But Bernie is an introvert. I’m an extrovert. And so were all of my friends. So the disconnect was merely a personality difference. And nothing I could say or do seemed to change it.
But some disconnects aren’t personality based. They’re behaviorally based. Some wives genuinely can’t stand their husband’s friends because they were the ones that used to lie for him, get him into trouble or were/are negatives influence on him. Or, there could be friends who just have personalities that seem to clash with your wife—no matter how hard you try to keep the peace.
But what should a husband do?
Here are six things a husband who wants to stay happily married must do when struggling with this dilemma.
1. Stop defending your friend’s over your wife
If God is truly doing a new thing in your life, then the old must pass away. By defending your friends’ cause against your wife, it’s making her feel like you are allying with your friends against her…like she’s y’all’s common enemy. You can’t build a happy marriage when your wife feels like you and your friends are all ganging up against her.
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