5 Places You Dread Taking Your Kids!

BY: - 24 Jan '17 | Parenting

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Ok…I must confess that I used to be one of those people who would feel some type of way when seeing a kid have a complete meltdown in public. I had no perspective so I would be thinking “why don’t the parents control that child?!” and “If I had a baby I BET it would’t go down like THAT!”

WELP let’s just say now that I have a child of my own, I completely understand and I’m sorry for my past judgments. Now that I have a toddler, who for the most part is pretty well behaved, I still get a little anxiety when it’s time to go out in public with her. Here are 5 places that I dread taking her the most! Tell me if you can relate.

1. On an Airplane

Sometimes driving just isn’t an option.  But boy oh boy, I say three or four extra prayers before getting on a plane with this little one of mine. First of all, the packing takes forever and getting through security is an all-day event.

Secondly, no one wants their kid to be the one that decided to cry the entire two-hour flight.  And so you try to time the flight just right so that it falls during nap-time, but usually it doesn’t work out. Then if your child is walking for some reason, the isles are like their own little track. Oh, and why do they want to play a never ending game of peek-a-boo with the person sitting behind you? Even the cutest kid gets annoying to a stranger after a minute or two!

2. To Church

It never fails; your child will be the one to start shouting in the middle of prayer. You try to give them candy or a bottle or the little church fan…anything to keep their attention and to stop them from crying or wanting to climb on the church pews. Sadly, there will come a time when they don’t want more candy and that little paper fan isn’t gonna cut it. Now, you have all the church folk judging and or feeling sorry for you as you take a walk of shame up the aisle with your screaming child while the preacher is delivering the message. Jesus be a nap!

3. In A Restaurant

You and your lady just want a night out of the house, but babysitters are expensive and aren’t easy to come by. You decide to try your luck and take the kid to dinner with you. The entire time your child wants no part of the high chair, is constantly knocking stuff off of the table, and every whine is magnified by 10 decibels because the restaurant is so quiet. Can you say….CHECK PLEASE?!

4. To Family Day at Work

It’s all cute to have “family day” at work, but you just know this is going to be the one day that your child forgets to takes his or her meltdown medicine! Now your co-workers and manager just think you’re a terrible parent with “issues at home.” You just went from up for a promotion to the talk of the office for all of the wrong reasons.

5. To a Birthday Party

Nobody wants their kid to be the jerk of the party. You know the one who is bullying, being extra bratty or who won’t let go of your leg the entire party. Or, maybe the child who refuses to share , or the one who eats everyone else’s food. The birthday parties are tricky because you don’t want to have to say anything to anyone else’s kid and you don’t want anyone else saying anything to your kid. I swear sometimes I’d rather just stay home…or at least have a glass of wine before getting there.

Let me stop before everyone gets the impression that when you have a kid you can’t go anywhere or have any fun. NO, I’m not saying that, but what I am saying is you better be prepared and you better have some thick skin and not care about being judged. Kids are a blessing but those blessings come with some battles you have to fight.

BMWK what are some other places you dread having to take the kids?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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Remember, Your Kids are Learning How to Love by Watching You

BY: - 27 Jan '17 | Parenting

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I have two kids and one on the way. If there is anything they have taught me, it’s how to be more mindful of how I behave and interact with others. Kids are always watching you. Even when you think they aren’t, they are. I believe it’s their way of trying to make us better people.

Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t think you should change who you are because your kids are lurking, watching your every move. But I do think it would be wise for all parents to really think about what our kids are learning based on how we behave.

Are we teaching them how to be angry?

Has bitterness taken over our world?

What do they learn from us about forgiveness?

Are we teaching them what empathy is and why it’s so important?

How do we communicate? Are silent treatments and grudges the norm for us?

Sure, we spend a lot of time trying to raise kind people who understand the value of an education. And that’s a good thing. Our world needs more kindness and building a strong knowledge base will serve them well in life. But that can’t be it, though. We can’t think that our kids will just learn what we want them to learn, and ignore what they see from us. It just doesn’t work that way.

When you disrespect your spouse in front of your children, they see it.

When you accept disrespectful behavior time and time again, they see it.

When you raise your voice or use mean words to get a point across, they hear it.

When you always put your needs first, they see it.

When you hold a grudge and refuse to forgive others and yourself, they see it.

When you settle for less than you deserve, they see it.

I know life would be so much easier if they didn’t see the crappy stuff. It would be so nice if they only observed our good qualities and magically erased the ones we aren’t that proud of. But you don’t need me to tell you that’s just a fantasy. They see and hear all of it and it informs who they become as adults.

Is it possible that your kids will see the bad stuff and still end up in perfectly healthy, happy relationships as adults? Of course it’s possible. Things actually turned out that way for me. But I can also tell you that it’s not likely. I can list a number of people in my life (many in my own family) who struggle big time in relationships and it has a lot to do with what they witnessed as children.

And if your kids have witnessed you having arguments with your mate or behaving in ways you aren’t proud of, it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent. Not by a long shot. But it does mean that you need to be more mindful going forward. It does mean that you need to think a little bit harder about how your relationship behaviors and decisions are influencing your children. You need to realize that although children shouldn’t know about or interfere with your adult matters, they are still watching how you behave. They are still looking to you to teach them how to love.

So the next time you feel compelled to do something that you realize may have a harmful impact on your kids, just take a deep breath and make another choice. Think about what you would want your child to do in the same situation. How would you want him to act? What would you want her to say? What would you want his next step to be?

It’s odd, but we often want more for our children than we accept for ourselves. We want them to be happier and healthier. We want them to find the deepest kind of love, even if that type of love has escaped us. But I urge parents everywhere to change that frame of mind. You can change. We can all change. And the truth is, it’s what your kids want for you. That same happiness you want for them—well, they want it for you. The least we can do for our kids and ourselves is try to become better people. After all, they are watching.

BMWK family, what are you doing to set a better example for your kids when it comes to intimate relationships?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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