Battle of the Sexes: 9 Ways Men and Women are Different

BY: - 18 Jan '17 | Marriage

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Generally speaking, there are just some things that men and women do differently in relationships! And the problems in many relationships occur when couples don’t learn how to accept each other’s differences which leads to arguments, frustration, and overall unhappiness in the relationship. If men and women would just put a little more effort into accepting each other’s differences, trying to understand each other and learning how to compromise, we would have so many more amazing loving relationships (and less breakups and divorce.)

Here are 9 ways my wife and I are extremely different. But instead of letting these differences frustrate us, we’ve learned to see humor in them and to compromise with each other…

1)  We entertain differently…

If we are having people over I think since we are opening up our home then they can bring their own food and drink. My wife on the other hand will have a spread of food, drinks, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, and all the fancy little forks and plates and stuff as well. What I thought was chilling with friends becomes a page straight out of Southern Living: Guide to Entertaining Edition.

2)  We miss the kids differently…

Maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s a dad thing but when my daughter is away with her grandparents I don’t feel the need to call multiple times to check on her. My wife on the other hand, has the numbers on speed dial and calls often. So…am I a bad parent because I don’t Facetime (video chat) her at least 3 times when she is away.
3) We prepare for company differently…

Hey look…I’m all for having a presentable house.  But all the dusting, cleaning baseboards (I just found out what those were), and making sure all surfaces are fingerpint free…nah, I’m good on that! In fact, if you need all that done we are going have to call in some help or hire someone.

4) We vacation differently…

When I go on vacation I like to spend most of the time relaxing and having lots of down time. Why does my wife see vacation as the time to create an itinerary that starts at sunrise and ends at damn near midnight?! I don’t want every second of my vacation scheduled to the max…that’s what I’m vacationing FROM!

5) We watch TV differently…

If I’m watching TV, I’m doing just that…watching TV. Not watching TV, cleaning up,talking on the phone, and everything else at the same time. Men like to do one thing at a time so if the game is on then I’m watching the game. Stop getting mad at us because we don’t want to multitask while we are watching TV.

6) We listen differently…

If I’m in the middle of doing something, my hearing becomes very selective. Most men I know are the same way. Ladies, on the other hand, will carry on three conversations at once, while doing 3 things at once…all seemingly getting her full attention!  See the way my ears and brain are set up, I will NEVER be that skilled…nor do I care to be.

Ladies, for your own sake, stop getting frustrated with men because you think we are ignoring you. The truth is that we really, really just don’t hear you.  We have tuned you out not by choice, but by nature!  If you’ve been talking to us for 3 minutes and we finally ask, “huh?” please don’t take it personal…blame our heads not our hearts!

7)  We fix things differently…

When situations arise, men typically want to get an answer and a solution to the problem. Women, on the other hand, want to discuss what caused the problem, how the problem makes them feel, and then the litany of options to fix the problem. Men fix…. it’s what we do so don’t be angry when we don’t want to discuss how all of it made you feel. (Teachable moment…fellas sometimes don’t fix, just listen!)

8) We talk about things differently…

When men tell a story it’s usually in the STAR format: Situation, task, action, result. Ladies sometimes want to give you the details to everything. What she was wearing, what the weather was, what were the 100 steps leading up to the event, her range of emotions during the event, how she felt afterward. As a bonus you’ll also get to hear how her friends feel about what happened. GEESH!!!

9)  We ‘sex’ differently…

Yeah, in general, as men once we see you and our equipment is stimulated we are ready to go! Ladies often times need a little more mental and emotional stimulation as well as foreplay before getting down to business. Hell, men can be mad at you all day but if you come out the bathroom naked it is still on and poppin’! When ladies are mad the first thing they say is “don’t touch me!” HA!

Many of our frustrations with each other as men and women are really just misunderstood differences. But it’s these differences that make us so great for one another.  And when we learn how to compromise and learn how to leverage each other’s differences…that’s how we become unstoppable as a team! And that’s the secret to an amazing relationship.

BMWK Fam – Help us add to this list by commenting below. What are some other ways that men and women are just different?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!


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3 Signs That Your Marriage is Really Worth Fighting For

BY: - 20 Jan '17 | Marriage

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Marriage isn’t a requirement in our culture. People get married because they want to. Now of course we can debate whether or not folks are getting married for the right reasons, but whatever those reasons are, it is a personal choice.

And for most of us, the decision to get married is not one taken likely. Some serious thought usually takes place before people decide to say, “I do.” And that should be the case because marriage is designed to be a lifelong commitment. Sure, we hear about the high divorce rate and how so many marriages end within the first five years, but no one enters a marriage planning to be a part of those stats.

When I got married, my plan was for this thing to last my entire lifetime. Now, eight years later, that is still my plan. I didn’t make a commitment before my loved ones and God with thoughts about walking away from it all if things don’t go my way. I said, “I do” because I felt like my man was worthy of my love and I was worthy of his. I married him because I believed we would figure things out together and always find a way to make things work—even when it’s hard as hell.

But I am no fool. I know that we have plenty of bumps ahead. Not because our marriage is riddled with problems, but because that is life. Even the happiest couples fall on hard times. Tragedies occur, people make mistakes, jobs are lost, pain is experienced, and life gets hard. Downright painful, really.

In those moments when it feels like life just hurts and you start to question the union you entered, it’s understandable for some to think about divorce. Even if you don’t want one, you start to wonder if it will come that. You may start to question if your love for each other is enough to weather the storm.

Although I have never been an advocate for remaining married at any cost, I am a strong advocate for fighting for your marriage when you should. I don’t think any commitment made before God should be broken with ease. I believe that although marriages can fall on very tough times, once you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone else, you have an obligation to give it all you’ve got before you walk away.

And sure, there are instances where walking away actually is best for all parties involved. But let’s be real: Many people walk away without putting in that much effort. Many get consumed by frustration and pain and decide that fighting is for the birds and they just can’t be bothered.

Things shouldn’t end this way, though. We have to try harder. We have to fight for our unions unless we find ourselves in a circumstance where being with the other person is straight up damaging and dangerous, either physically or emotionally.

If you are losing your patience and giving up on your marriage is starting to feel like a reasonable option, here are 3 signs that your marriage may be worth fighting for.

There is no emotional or physical abuse involved

Emotional and physical abuse are deal breakers in my book. But if you are married to someone who has always respected your thoughts, emotions, and your body, and they have never done anything abusive, you should really think about if walking away is best. I am not suggesting these are the only things that can break up a marriage, but I do believe that outside of these issues, many other issues can be worked through with appropriate help. Not all other issues, but many of them.

You haven’t tried counseling or therapy

I firmly believe that couples counseling or therapy can play a huge role in helping a couple rebuild their relationship. To give up on your marriage without giving this a try seems unreasonable in my opinion. And you have to give it a fair try. One bad therapist doesn’t mean that therapy doesn’t work. It just means that the therapist you went to wasn’t a good fit for you and your spouse. All couples face issues, and sometimes those issues are just too much to work through alone. Before you throw in the towel on a lifetime commitment, reach out and get professional help. You may be surprised at what a difference it makes.

You haven’t asked God for His help.

What better person to turn to for help than the one you made your commitment before? Whether you go to church religiously, or you only attend on special occasions, you and your mate have to be honest with yourselves about whether or not you have gotten down on your knees and asked the Lord to guide your steps. Have you asked Him to help you heal? Have you asked Him to help you forgive? Have you asked Him to help your transform and become a better spouse? Are you praying for each other? I believe you have to be able to go to your maker and ask for help before you walk away from something you told Him you would never walk away from.

BMWK family, how do you know if your marriage is worth fighting for?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at To work with her, visit her at Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.


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