The feeling of your mother-in-law not welcoming or liking you is uncomfortable…to say the least. It puts you in a bad position. I’ve been a daughter-in-law for many years and now I’m in the role of mother-in-law (or mother-in-love I like to say). So, my viewpoint comes from a heart that sees the best in each of these positions.
So, if you find yourself in a position where you are challenged by your mother-in-law, here are 5 actions that are in your control.
Edify her – build her up
Build your mother-in-law up with your speech. I’m not saying lie. She must have some good qualities. Focus on those. Don’t talk bad about her – she is your spouse’s mother.
Respect her as the mother of your spouse
Respect is earned – it’s a saying most of us have heard. I want to challenge that just a bit. Even though respect is earned, you can respect the position a person holds in your life. I’ve had to do this on numerous occasions with folks in my life. I know firsthand it’s possible.
Decide to love her
Love is a choice and a conscious decision. It’s a decision to be patient, kind, and slow to become angry. Love decides to do these things even in the face of it not being reciprocated. I’m not saying to put up with abuse. I’m saying show her love.
Let your mate know how you feel
Explain to your spouse how you feel and why. Allow them the opportunity to understand what is going on. Even in your conversation, refrain from talking bad about your mother-in-law. It will help your spouse to understand your concerns if you express them without attacking their parent. Set a positive tone for your talk.
Create an atmosphere that is nonjudgmental. Be at peace within yourself. If you are at peace, peace will exude from you. In your home, you set the atmosphere. When you have done all, you can rest and be at peace. No one has the right to take your peace BUT you can give it away. Keep your peace and set the tone.
Make room in your heart for your mother-in-law. It means becoming vulnerable. You cannot control how she treats you. You cannot control whether she respects or accepts you. You can control how you respond and minimize the effects on your marriage. Take the positive route and promote a good relationship between the two of you. NOW, this doesn’t guarantee her acceptance but it does guarantee you have made your best effort to be the best daughter or son -in-law you can be.
BMWK – please share with us your best tips for getting along with your mother-in-law.
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