3 Ways to Make Your Spouse Feel Like They Are Your Top Priority

BY: - 23 Feb '17 | Marriage

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Have you ever heard this from your spouse – “how is it that when I ask you to do something it takes forever?  But when your friends ask you to do something, you move right away.”

Or, how about this one, “When your friend calls, you are on the phone talking and laughing. But when I try to talk with you, you have nothing to say.”

Your spouse is crying out. What they are saying is, “I don’t feel like a priority.”

3 Steps to Prioritize Your Spouse Over All Others

In my own marriage,  my husband and I  are careful to prioritize each other. It hasn’t always been this way with us. However, I now know, I’m his #1 and he’s mine. Take a look at these 3 steps that helped us.

1. Take note of your spouse’s wants and needs and help to fulfill them. 

It feels so good to see your spouse happy. If you take note of their wants and needs and help to fulfill them, you will outwardly demonstrate your love. Love is an action word and this is one way to show your mate just how important they are in your life.

READ: A Clear Sign that Your Spouse Needs Your Attention

2. Place your spouse’s needs above the needs of your friends and parents.

It can be easy to quickly say no to our spouse. No, I don’t t want to go there. No, I don’t want to see that. With our spouse, no, can roll off the tongue easily. Yet with friends and parents we commit to things with little thought and have a hard time saying no. Turn the tables on this and let your mate hear a resounding YES on their behalf.

Yes, I would love to…
Sure babe I’ll go with you…
Whatever you want babe…
Yes, honey let’s go for it…

3. Make your commitments to your spouse non-negotiable.

In your heart of hearts you are committed to your spouse. If they are ill, you are there being attentive. If they are wounded emotionally, you are there to help pick up the pieces. If you make a date with your spouse the date is kept. Your commitment to your mate should be visibly non-negotiable. You know it, your mate knows it, and so does anyone who sees your relationship.

Let’s make it plain, you are not responsible for your mate’s happiness. That’s too much pressure to put on anyone. However, as a spouse our desire is towards one another. We want each other to be happy and we are willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Being a high priority in your life is something your spouse will appreciate. It’s a position they deserve.

Try these 3 steps and see how they work for you. They work for my marriage. I hope they work for you.

BMWK family how do you let your spouse know they are a high priority in your life?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 186 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills


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In a Stressful World, 5 Ways to Make Your Marriage Your Safe Haven

BY: - 27 Feb '17 | Marriage

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With all the stress and worry this world can inflict upon us, it’s important to create a space in our life where there is peace and joy. For me, this space is my home, with my family and within my marriage. I can’t imagine not having an outlet or a safe haven where I can flee the frustration of politics, my job and negative people I may encounter everyday.

My marriage has to feel good to me. Now it will not just magically be that safe space for me without any effort on my part. Both my husband and I have to decide that we want that sense of peace for our relationship. Once the decision is made, our actions then have to be in alignment with that goal.

If this is also one of your goals as a couple, here are a few suggestions for making your marriage your safe haven:

Pray for peace and joy in your marriage.

Ask God for it and expect it to happen. As you pray and ask God for peace and joy in your home, also ask for Him to remove those obstacles that may block you and your spouse from having those things. Whether it’s temptation, laziness, procrastination or anger, ask God to help you and your spouse in that area, so you can thrive as a couple.

Leave the drama outside the door.

Any drama or negativity that happens at work, should stay at work. Your spouse doesn’t deserve it. If you weren’t bold enough to manage the conflict on your job, there isn’t any reason your spouse has to be your emotional punching bag. Remember if they weren’t the cause of your frustration, don’t make them feel the brunt of it.

Look for 3 things to be grateful for everyday.

Sometimes, all we can do is focus on what didn’t work. However, if you took time to focus on all the things that did work, you’d be surprised. There are so many things that actually could go wrong within a day, so being grateful will definitely shift your perspective. As you discover the three things to be grateful for each new day, be sure to share them with your spouse. This positivity could easily become contagious within your marriage.

Find an outlet to release your frustration.

I understand it isn’t always easy to just turn off the disappointment and turn on the happy. It’s a process. One that sometimes requires a little something outside of ourselves. If you struggle with this, please be proactive in finding a solution. You don’t have to stay stuck in that negative space. There are resources and professionals that can help you navigate through those feelings. Remember, you aren’t any good to anyone if you aren’t good to yourself first. You can also take a class or participate in exercises that focus on managing your anger, if that’s needed. Again, you have to be proactive in your own healing.

Spend time with other happy couples.

Seeing how other couples navigate through certain challenges could be beneficial to you and your spouse. If you don’t know any happy couples, expand your search. Look for marriage ministries, on meet-ups that focus on strengthening relationships. Even spending time in places where couples go might connect you to other happy couples.

Again, in a world where anger and sadness seem to be more present than ever, we need a safe space to breathe, relax and just be. That space should always be your home, within your marriage. If you aren’t there just yet, don’t fret, the steps above will get you started.

BMWK, how do you make your marriage your safe haven?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.


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