How to Show Your Spouse How to Love You

BY: - 13 Feb '17 | Marriage

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No one knows you better than you. You know your likes and dislikes, your joys and pains and even that quirky behavior you can’t even explain sometimes. Do you ever wish others, especially your spouse, knew you that well?  They could, I mean if you ever decided to share what it’s really like to be you.

Many of the difficulties I see couples face are merging their lives and accepting one another for who they truly are. The reason this can be such a challenge is because, sometimes, we as individuals haven’t fully embraced and taken ownership of who we are.  But the moment you realize you aren’t perfect and that it’s ok, is the moment your relationships become stronger.

Because your marriage is such an important part of your life, it’s time you took some action steps to ensure it’s the absolute best it can be. Here are a few suggestions for getting that process started.

The moment you realize you aren’t perfect … is the moment your relationships become stronger.

Learn, accept and love you.

You are who are. What you don’t like you can work on improving. In the meantime take an internal assessment. Who are? What are some behaviors you have that may be hard for others to accept? Ask yourself why that behavior exists and how it’s affecting your life. Think about the positive things you bring to your marriage and how they benefit your spouse.

Tell your spouse the truth about you.

After your personal assessment, you’ll have some revelations you must share with your partner. Share who you are and why you make the decisions you make. Having this honest dialogue with your spouse will definitely begin to break down the walls that sometimes exist in marriage.

Accept your spouse’s truth about themselves.

At the same time you’re making your personal assessment, your spouse should be doing the same. You should be able to listen attentively as your spouse shares what they’ve learned about themselves. You’ll more than likely learn something new that you can quickly apply to how you approach and interact with your spouse.

Tell your spouse how to love you.

With this step you can begin to ask for what you need. Of course it will make more sense to your spouse because you’ve already revealed your truth. Share how they can love you and your preferred communication style. You should also offer advice on what you need in the bedroom. Your spouse, I’m sure, wants to make sure they get it right in the intimacy department, so definitely share your turn ons and offs.

Finally, listen to your spouse’s share how to love him/her.

Ask questions and listen to what they need. Again, they would’ve already revealed their truth to you, so what you hear shouldn’t come as a surprise. Once you get that advice, adhere to it. If it’s important to your partner it must also become important to you.

Once again, you know you better than anyone else. When it comes to teaching people how to treat us we must first be ready to share why we desire to be treated that way in the first place. Giving advice to our spouse on how to love us and vice versa will only strengthen the connection and transform the marriage overall.

BMWK, if you could give your spouse advice how how to love you, what would you say?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit and


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Foreplay Alert: 13 Text Messages to Send Your Wife on Valentine’s Day

BY: - 13 Feb '17 | inspiration

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Valentines is right around the corner, fellas. And if you want to knock the day outta the park, then  it all starts with foreplay. Not that kinda foreplay…mental foreplay. Showing your wife not only that you’re thinking about her throughout the day, but showing her how you truly feel. Shoot her these 13 simple messages to set a foundation of openness and romance for your special day.


Texts of Gratitude:

  • Thanks for loving me for the man I am.
  • Thank you for being a wonderful mother to our kids. They’re so lucky to have you in their lives.
  • Thank you for being a great example for our whole family.

Texts of Love

  • I love the way you always make our family a priority in your busy life.
  • Always remember that I love you for the person you are. You can always be yourself with me.
  • Even though we have good months and bad months, I never love you any less – only more.

Texts of General Goodness and Positivity

  • I’m so excited to build our future with you year after year.
  • What would I do without you?
  • Our worst days simply set up our best ones.

Texts of Service

  • Don’t worry about the dishes for a couple of weeks. I’ll make sure the family takes care of it.
  • Tonight you’re getting a foot massage.
  • I looked up a great recipe, I can’t wait to make for us.
  • What can I do to make your week better?

No matter what you have planned, and how you wish your night to end, a little gratitude, thoughtfulness, and openness can go a long way. And that’s true whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any other random Tuesday.

About the author

Isom Kuade wrote 70 articles on this blog.

Isom Kuade is a father and a husband, resting his head in the middle of Texas. He's doing his best to adult with purpose and sneak in some good meals along the way. He and his wife tell stories of their triumphs, failures, and biased opinions at


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