10 Simple Things to Say and Do to Make Your Spouse Feel Loved

BY: - 14 Feb '17 | Intimacy

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“The same things you did to get them, you need to do to keep them.” We’ve all heard it said a million times.  But if we’re being honest, sometimes we get so busy that we either forget or those things aren’t much of a priority anymore. When it comes to loving, romancing, and appreciating our spouses, sometimes we just need a prompting so that we can get back in the groove of making them feel special. Here are 5 things to begin saying and doing again today!

Simple things to say:

1. I miss you

I know you remember how good it used to make you feel to hear your lady or man say “Baby I miss you!” Whether it was a phone call or text message you just liked to know you were being missed and thought about. It’s something that only takes two seconds to say or type, but will keep a long lasting smile on your spouse’s face!

2. I love you

When you first started, you wouldn’t leave any conversation without saying it. You wouldn’t go to sleep without saying it and it was always so heartfelt. Don’t assume your spouse just knows it she still needs to hear it.

3. You’re beautiful…you’re handsome!

Who doesn’t want to feel like their spouse still has the hots for them?! Sometimes we think just because we committed to someone that they should just know that we find them sexy or attractive. WRONG! Nothing puts a lil’ pep in the step of your spouse more than when you start noticing them again in that way and making it known.

4. I appreciate you

Remember being so full of appreciation when you were dating? Even the smallest gestures elicited sincere gratitude. Yeah, I know it’s your spouse’s responsibility to do certain things for you and the family.  But remember how grateful you used to feel for them? Bring those feelings back! The longer you’re in a relationship, the easier it is to start expecting and stop appreciating. Start again!

5.Thank You

“Thank you” is one of the most powerful and sincere phrases in the English language. Say it, and say it often…especially to the one you love the most!

Simple things to do:

6. Write a handwritten letter

Nothing will ever replace a handwritten note, expressing how you feel. Don’t forget to fold it like you used to back in the day!

7. Leave special sticky notes to be found

Sticky notes with sweet thoughts work wonders! The same way you put those sticky notes in your kids’ lunchbox to let them know to have a great day or how awesome they are, leave a few for your spouse. After leaving for a work trip, I found a picture in my coat pocket of my wife and daughter with “have a great meeting dad, we love you!” on the back.  And it made me beam.

8. Bring their favorite food or dessert home

Food always does the trick, especially sweets! Stop by the store on the way home and grab her that old school candy bar she loves or that piece of cheesecake she likes. Stop and grab him a 6-pack of his favorite beer or his favorite bag of chips. Just the fact that you took some extra time to do something special for him or her will go a long way.

9. Go for a walk in the park

You used to have so much fun just being in each other’s space, holding hands, walking and talking. I know things get busy but occasionally find time to disconnect and just go for a walk. You’ll be amazed at the good memories it brings back!

10. KISS!

I know this sounds elementary but even thinking about doing this with your mate will probably flush your cheeks and make you smile. I don’t mean pecks or simple hello or goodbye kisses either…I mean the real deal! The kind of kisses that lead to long nights and early mornings; the kind of kisses that make you forget about any and everything else and focus only on passion. I’m talking about the kind of kisses that send chills down your spine when just thinking about them. If you and your love haven’t had any of those in a while…now’s the perfect time to change that. Grab a lighter and spark that flame!

The moral of the story is that sometimes we get so busy and we forget. It’s not that the love has died, but sometimes the appreciation, thoughtfulness and passion has taken a nap! Let’s ring a big, loud bell to awaken them again!

BMWK Fam what other things would you add to the list?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!


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6 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Loved Outside of the Bedroom

BY: - 14 Feb '17 | Intimacy

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If your husband is anything like mine, he appreciates some loving outside of the bedroom. We know our husbands are sexual beings. However, there is more to the connection between husband and wife than sex. I’m talking about whatever affection is to your man.

I know what affection looks like to me, but it took me some time to learn what affection means to my husband. I had to learn what makes him feel loved. As manly as our guys are, they need to feel loved just like we do.

If you want to put a lasting smile on your husband’s face, pay attention to the little things that bring him joy. It could be the way you hold his hand or how you make a big deal over him washing the dishes.

Read: 4 Ways to Protect Your Husband…Because He Needs It too

You hold the key to finding out what causes your husband to feel loved. On your search to find this out, here are six scenarios to lookout for:

  1. Take note of what makes him smile.
  2. Recall what conversations get him excited.
  3. Listen when he talks about his day to discover what makes him proud.
  4. Watch when he plays with the children and notice what brings the biggest laughs.
  5. Listen for what he longs to share with you.
  6. Notice what nonsexual touch causes him to relax.

As you give extra attention to these six areas you may be surprised at what you learn about your man. For example, while paying attention to these areas I learned my husband likes to hold hands. He grabs my hand often. His face seems to lighten when we hold hands, almost as if the cares of the day just got lighter. It’s an action that causes him to feel my expressed love. Who knew? I thought it was just something we did. I didn’t realize the positive affect it was having.


What verbal and nonverbal actions that cause him to feel your expressed love?

Once you have observed and noticed what actions cause your husband to experience your expressed love show it every day.

  1. Tell him he’s a good dad.
  2. Let him know how you appreciate his protection.
  3. Rub the back of his neck while driving.
  4. Allow him to wind down when he gets in from work.
  5. Go with him to the car races or whatever sport or hobby he enjoys.
  6. Hold hands while walking through the mall.
  7. Laugh at his silly jokes.
  8. Express you’re proud of him.

Loving outside the bedroom doesn’t replace sexual fulfillment, but it does fuel and support your man. Your husband’s language of affection may surprise you. However once you learn it, your husband will reap the benefit and so will your marriage.

BMWK Ladies – What makes your husband feel loved?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 186 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills


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