6 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Loved Outside of the Bedroom

BY: - 14 Feb '17 | Intimacy

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If your husband is anything like mine, he appreciates some loving outside of the bedroom. We know our husbands are sexual beings. However, there is more to the connection between husband and wife than sex. I’m talking about whatever affection is to your man.

I know what affection looks like to me, but it took me some time to learn what affection means to my husband. I had to learn what makes him feel loved. As manly as our guys are, they need to feel loved just like we do.

If you want to put a lasting smile on your husband’s face, pay attention to the little things that bring him joy. It could be the way you hold his hand or how you make a big deal over him washing the dishes.

Read: 4 Ways to Protect Your Husband…Because He Needs It too

You hold the key to finding out what causes your husband to feel loved. On your search to find this out, here are six scenarios to lookout for:

  1. Take note of what makes him smile.
  2. Recall what conversations get him excited.
  3. Listen when he talks about his day to discover what makes him proud.
  4. Watch when he plays with the children and notice what brings the biggest laughs.
  5. Listen for what he longs to share with you.
  6. Notice what nonsexual touch causes him to relax.

As you give extra attention to these six areas you may be surprised at what you learn about your man. For example, while paying attention to these areas I learned my husband likes to hold hands. He grabs my hand often. His face seems to lighten when we hold hands, almost as if the cares of the day just got lighter. It’s an action that causes him to feel my expressed love. Who knew? I thought it was just something we did. I didn’t realize the positive affect it was having.


What verbal and nonverbal actions that cause him to feel your expressed love?

Once you have observed and noticed what actions cause your husband to experience your expressed love show it every day.

  1. Tell him he’s a good dad.
  2. Let him know how you appreciate his protection.
  3. Rub the back of his neck while driving.
  4. Allow him to wind down when he gets in from work.
  5. Go with him to the car races or whatever sport or hobby he enjoys.
  6. Hold hands while walking through the mall.
  7. Laugh at his silly jokes.
  8. Express you’re proud of him.

Loving outside the bedroom doesn’t replace sexual fulfillment, but it does fuel and support your man. Your husband’s language of affection may surprise you. However once you learn it, your husband will reap the benefit and so will your marriage.

BMWK Ladies – What makes your husband feel loved?

About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 186 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills


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21 Questions to Incredible Sex with Your Spouse

BY: - 21 Feb '17 | Intimacy

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There’s nothing better than a hot, steamy and romantic relationship; one where just the thought of the other person gets you all hot, bothered and excited. Unfortunately, there are some couples who struggle with the physical connection part of their marriage. Perhaps they are stronger at communication. They can probably talk for hours about any and everything. But a disconnect happens when it’s time to become intimate. While their minds are connected, which is a great thing, their bodies are not.

Sometimes that happens because of our individual beliefs about intimacy. There may be some who grew up thinking sex was such a dirty word, even within a marriage. Or that you had to do it as a chore, not because it was something to be enjoyed by both partners. Those beliefs would of course affect the energy put into making intimacy happen within a marriage.

Although it might be awkward to discuss, a conversation on how to make your intimacy better is always needed. It’s one of the key ingredients to a successful marriage. So we should be able to ask questions and share what we need most in the bedroom.


Here’s how to get started.

Be a little selfish first. What I mean by that is to think about your own needs first by asking yourself the following questions.

1. What are my overall beliefs about intimacy?

2. What do I enjoy most about being intimate with my spouse?

3. What do I love most about my body?

4. What do I like least about my body and how does it affect me in the bedroom?

5. What insecurities, if any, do I have about being intimate with my spouse?

6. What are the reasons I may not want to be intimate with my spouse?

7. What are my turn ons?

8. What are my turn offs?

The answers to these questions will give you the insight needed on your own personal desires. You can’t share your needs with your spouse if you aren’t sure of what they are. Not being aware of your beliefs around intimacy could have a serious impact on your relationship.

Next, it’s time to find out how much you know about your spouse’s bedroom needs. You can do that by asking the following questions. See how many you can answer on your own first and then compare your answers to your spouse’s responses. Ask your partner the following and be open to what you hear.

9. What are your thoughts on the intimacy in our marriage?

10. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the absolute best, how would you rate our intimacy?

11. If the answer isn’t a 10, what can we do to get to a 10?

12. What is one thing I do that you enjoy most during intimacy?

13. What can we improve with our intimacy?

14. What makes you excited about being intimate with me?

15. What affects your mood when it’s time for love making?

16. What would you like to happen less in the bedroom?

17. What are your turn-ons?

18. What are your turnoffs?

19. Where is your favorite place to make love?

20. Is our love making happening as frequently as you like?

21. What do you want more of in the bedroom?

Conversations on intimacy actually make intimacy better. Don’t be afraid to share what you need in the bedroom. Also, be prepared to listen to what your spouse needs and be ready to deliver.

BMWK, how well do you know your spouse’s bedroom needs?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 635 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.


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