Single Christians Reveal the Top 5 Frustrations that They Have with the Church

BY: - 10 Feb '17 | Single

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In my last article, Top 10 Cliché Messages Singles Say They’re Tired of Hearing in Church, I shared the top 10 pieces of cliché advice singles have heard in church. The list was curated by a frustrated single Christian woman who was tired of hearing the same old messages targeted towards singles in church. So she asked her friends on social media to share clichéd messages they’ve heard over and over again in church.

Well…not only did they share the clichéd messages, they also shared their frustrations about those messages. They had some strong feelings too. And to be honest, I can’t blame them.

As the relational economy has shifted over the past five decades and as women have increased their educational, financial, and professional power, it has completely changed the way single men and women’s relationships are started, cultivated, and sustained. But what hasn’t seemed to change is the church’s messaging to these singles. And that has created some very frustrated single-saints who aren’t afraid to express their opinions.

Here are the 5 top opinions expressed by some frustrated singles about what the church is saying to singles.

  1. “I’m so tired of pastors/preachers talking about singleness in regards to potential marriage. The reality is there is so much more that God wants us to do with our lives than to wait for marriage. Singles play a significant role in spreading the Gospel. God’s will for some people is to never get married. So we need to have chances to disciple single people and make them feel enriched in their singleness.”
  2. “When we go to church, they can sometimes make it seem like interaction or a close relationship with the opposite sex is a disease. This stupid thing we say and call it a prayer… “Lord if he ain’t the one please remove him from my life”! Whhaaaaat? How about Lord, help me to be a light to this person no matter what. Help me to honor you in this relationship whether it’s for a season or a lifetime.”
  3. “I simply think that most of the advice singles get is simply a hodgepodge of popular dating advice, old wives’ tales, mixed in with cherry picked Scriptures.”
  4. “I think that, subconsciously, churches only address singles in the context of marriage preparation because it’s the only context they really know and can “grow” and maintain churches, as marriage is seen as the foundation of families, which translates to more butts in the pews and potentially more money in the collection plate.”
  5. “I have heard so many different things on dating … and they all sound like man’s interpretation. I think you have to know yourself and know God for yourself and you and He work out the parameters.”

The bible says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” [Hebrews 13:8]. True! But the messaging about Jesus shouldn’t be the same as it was 50 years ago. When Jesus was teaching or making a point, he often used agricultural analogies or fishing metaphors to drive home a spiritual principle. People could relate to that because they lived in an agricultural society.

In 2017, agriculture and fishing metaphors wouldn’t be effective messaging to drive home biblical principles because we live in the Internet/information age. Likewise…neither are the clichéd messages the church has been using because we are living in an age where women have just as much power, if not more, than ever before.

And that has completely changed the male/female dynamics, which constitutes new relational socio-economics that must be taken into consideration in its messaging. The church would do well to be wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove in its messaging to the singles…about the singles…lest their frustrations provoke them to turn a deaf-ear to what Jesus is truly saying to the singles in church.

BMWK — Do you agree with their feelings about the church’s message towards singles?

About the author

Heath Wiggins wrote 83 articles on this blog.

The Purveyor of Understanding - Heath Wiggins married Bernadette (Bernie) Wiggins in October 1997. Together they founded the Family Bootcamp, LLC., a relationship consulting business that helps people improve the communication and trust in relationships. In 2013, Heath launched the blog and book His Leadership Her Trust to combat the lack of trust women had in allowing men be leaders in their relationships. His mission is to teach Christian men how to lead in such a way that women trust, respect, and actually want to them.

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Top 10 Things Women Love To Do On Valentine’s Day

BY: - 10 Feb '17 | Marriage

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Valentine’s Day is around the corner. For many, this day of love comes with some stress due to the uncertainty around gift ideas. It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Honestly, it shouldn’t be that way. Expressing yourself to the woman you love should come easily.

February 14th shouldn’t be about how much you spend or how many gifts you buy. It should be a day of expressing love in a special way. If you feel like you have to break the bank to impress your lady, don’t blame the holiday. You may need to have a deeper conversation with that special lady in your life about what expressing love means to you.

So with all the commercials for jewelry, flowers, chocolate and who knows what else, how do you determine what to give your lady on Valentine’s Day? Well I suggest putting your focus on what your lady loves to do instead of searching for the perfect gift. The thought you put into creating the perfect day will mean far more than some fancy overpriced gift (well, at least for most women it will).

Here are the top 10 things women love to do on Valentine’s Day. Pick one that will make your lady smile and have a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

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1. Go to her favorite restaurant.

Simple enough, right? Take her out to her favorite restaurant and enjoy a romantic meal together. You get even more brownie points if it’s hard to get a table at the restaurant, but you remembered to make reservations. She will love that. Sometimes a great meal with the one you love is more than enough to make it a wonderful day.

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About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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