5 First Date Tips That Will Leave Him Wanting More

BY: - 7 Feb '17 | Single

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I’ve heard so many stories lately from people who have had what they thought were good first dates… only to never be contacted again. They get so upset because they felt like they put so much effort into the date and and yet here they are again back at square one. They wonder why this dating thing has to be so hard?!

Well the truth of the matter is that you have to realize that every person you date won’t turn into your soulmate. However, there are still some things you can do to increase your chances of that second date (and beyond!)

Ladies, here is insider knowledge on what you can do to leave him wanting more after your first date.

1. Be positive

Many of you are probably wondering what made this number one. Well, it’s because one of the things I hear most from men about their dates is that they are turned off by a woman’s negativity. You can be a ten in the looks department as well as other areas.  But if you have negative energy, men will flee.

If you have negative energy, men will flee.

If your conversation is about how bad the world is or how bad dating is or how bad your life is at the moment, then I’m here to tell you that no man wants to sign up for that! Men don’t want to walk into a relationship with the deck stacked against them or having to break down a bunch of walls you’ve built up from your past. Be conscious and honest with yourself about this.  If you aren’t in a positive space, then reconsider dating. Good spirits are contagious and your positive aura is definitely enough for a guy to want that second date with you.

2. Be an active participant

TNMCoupleDateDanceHappyMany men have told me that the one thing they hate on a date, almost more than anything else, is having to pull teeth in order to get anything out of a woman. It’s a massive turnoff when it seems like she is there as a favor to him and not because she really wants to get to know him. The foundation of any relationship is reciprocation, so don’t make the date just about you.

Offer to help with any planning, ask him questions about himself, offer to pick up the check (it won’t break your bank!), and most of all make it a conversation and not an interview. A man who really wants to make the date work will probably lead the way with planning and with picking up the check, but the kind gesture will at least make reciprocation the foundation.

READ: First Date Deal Breakers That Drive Men Away And How To Avoid Them

3. Utilize your feminine energy

I’ve had many of men tell me that their deal breaker for a woman was how HARD she came off on the date. Meaning, she was trying so hard to prove how tough she was that he couldn’t get to her softer side.

Nothing is sexier than a woman who exudes feminine energy. You know that flirtatious vibe, that subtle soft touch on the hand, that soul penetrating smile, and that slight movement placing the hair behind the ear so he can see your face. YES, that feminine energy is something serious and it makes men weak!

4. Look stunning and smell amazing

Some ladies say “if he can’t accept me at my worst, then he doesn’t deserve me at my best.” Well can you please not make that your mantra for the first date?! You wouldn’t go into an interview half-stepping, so don’t go on your dates half-stepping.

You wouldn’t go into an interview half-stepping, so don’t go on your dates half-stepping.

Be conscious of your appearance and remember that when you look good, you feel good…but you also want to be comfortable. And always remember that your distinct scent will follow that man from the time you arrive until after you leave. Stay on his mind even post-date with your signature scent!

5. Let your personality shine

I’ve been on a date with someone who was a stick in the mud and it wasn’t fun at all. Playing it cool and being extra conservative might be your first class ticket to no call back. Oftentimes, we have a tendency to want to hold back and be extra reserved on first dates. I’m not saying you should be over the top or over share, but at least let your personality shine through. Don’t turn it into an awkward and boring exchange just because you don’t want to “show your hand.” If you’re having fun, let that be known! Nothing replaces a good sense of humor and genuine smiles. Dates are least awkward when people allow themselves to be themselves.

Finally, understand that sometimes no matter how much you do, there still may not be a second date. Sometimes it’s just not a good fit or the right situation and you have to be okay with that. But this list will allow you to feel good when the date is over because you put your best foot forward!

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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5 Signs That Your New Man Doesn’t Value Your Time

BY: - 7 Feb '17 | Single

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When it comes to our work, we can be so protective of our time. After all, time is money and we don’t want anyone messing with our money, right?

I get it. I am about my business, too, and I hate having my time wasted.

But the thing is, if women can be bosses when it comes to valuing our time in business, then why do so many of us allow men to waste our time when dating? It just doesn’t make any sense.

Sure, money is no longer involved, but does that make your time any less valuable? I don’t think so. I think anyone that enters your world and wants to stay in it, long-term, should value all of you—and that includes your time.

We teach people how to treat us. Once you start teaching a man that it is okay to devalue your time, he will keep doing it. Now this doesn’t mean that you should be inflexible. Not at all. Things happen and sometimes someone can waste your time even with the best intentions. But when wasting your time starts to become a pattern, it’s just disrespectful. And, you deserve better than that.

So how do you know if he doesn’t value your time? Here are 5 signs.

1. He’s ALWAYS late.

I hate being late. I will admit that since I’ve had children, my record of timeliness is tarnished, but I still try my best. But I have to admit that there are people I love who struggle with being on time—like they struggle a lot. That said, I still think there is something to be said for putting your best foot forward. If you just started dating someone and he is never on time for anything, he clearly doesn’t value your time. If it’s just a bad habit that he should at least make an effort to change once you bring it up. If he makes no effort to change, he just doesn’t value your time that much.

2. He makes comments that devalue the work you do.

When you date someone, he should value your time and the work that do, even if he doesn’t understand it. If your man has a demanding corporate job and acts like your time is always more flexible than his because you are a writer or an entrepreneur, then you have to clarify a few things for him. Your work may be different than his, but it still takes time and your time needs to be valued.

3. He only considers what’s most convenient for him.

If he only suggests doing things and going places when it’s convenient for him, without considering your wants and needs, he doesn’t value your time. A healthy relationship is about mutual respect. A man that values your time will ask about your schedule and will choose times that are mutually convenient before planning things.

4. He reschedules at the last minute a lot.

Doing this occasionally is not a huge issue, but if you are dating a man who does this a lot, it’s a problem. When a guy is always canceling or rescheduling it sends a clear message that he believes that his time is more valuable than yours. We both know that’s not true so he needs to either recognize your worth or hit the road.

5. He never checks with you before making plans.

A surprise from time to time is great. But when your man always takes it upon himself to plan stuff without checking in with you, it’s inconsiderate. What if you have a commitment you can’t break? What if you had something else in mind? I’m not knocking a brother who makes plans because I know so many get a bad rep for never planning. I’m simply saying that if he always does it and you rarely get to chime in on any of plans made (especially the dates and times for those plans), you have to wonder why he’s doing that.

Ladies don’t waste time! If the man you are dating doesn’t value your time, then it’s up to you to decided whether staying in the relationship is worth it or not.  But either way, you should set some boundaries around respecting your time.

BMWK ladies, how do you know if the man in your life doesn’t value your time?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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