5 Signs Your Marriage is Going to Be OK

BY: - 22 Mar '17 | Marriage

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Have you ever gotten to a point in your marriage where you thought you and your spouse would never overcome a certain situation?

So many marriages reach a period of time where the couple may question everything about their union. Stress, disagreements and just life can easily take us to a negative space where we begin to think our marriage just isn’t working.

However, I am here to encourage you. Don’t allow drama and life to interrupt your good thing. Couples can and do overcome some of life’s most difficult hurdles. Usually a couple can come out stronger than ever as a result.

Don’t allow drama and life to interrupt your good thing.

Typically when couples think things can’t get any worse ,there is always a silver lining they forget.
I want to remind you that your marriage is ok, especially when both partners are present and want their marriage to work. Anything is possible when you are in that space.

Here are a few signs, in case you were wondering, your marriage is still good:

You still laugh together…

1. Laughter is always the best medicine. If you are still able to laugh together, you just might be in a good space. Being able to make your partner smile when you’re going through it as a couple is a very promising sign that things aren’t all bad in the relationship. It’s important that couples look for reasons to smile in their marriage in fact. If you look, I’m sure you’ll find some things to smile about and be grateful for.

You still want to be around each other…

2. Wanting to be around each other is another sign that things aren’t as bad as they seem. Not avoiding each other’s presence lets you know that things aren’t that too far gone. Together, you’ll have a greater chance of surviving whatever it is you are experiencing.

You still care…

3. Considering each other’s feelings can only happen when love is still present. Thinking about the impact your words and actions will have on your partner shows they definitely still matter to you. When love truly is still evident, anything can happen.

You are still attracted…

4. Still finding one another attractive is a strong sign your marriage is ok. If your spouse still turns you on, you’re in pretty good shape as a couple. “Turn offs” quickly replace “turn ons” when a couple is at odds. Since it’s usually the first to go, it’s a big deal when you find yourselves still attracted to one another.

You are still passionate…

5. When your partner can still get a reaction out of you shows that you’re still passionate about your relationship. Believe me when someone is done it shows in their actions and how they react to their partner. Emotions, even when they feel a bit uncomfortable, are good for healing to begin in a relationship.

Learn how to improve your communication almost immediately and reduce the amount of unnecessary arguments and issues that come up so easily because of saying the wrong words or sending the wrong messages with our Effective Communication Online Training System.

Couples, marriage requires a lot from us. It isn’t always easy, I know. But it’s important to stay hopeful and prayed up. Start looking for the signs that show your marriage is still ok and believe you can get through your current situation.

BMWK, what are some other signs that show your marriage is still okay?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 632 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and Conflict Available on Amazon . She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.

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5 Important Things Women Often Overlook Because They’re in LOVE

BY: - 24 Mar '17 | Marriage

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I love my husband. I’ve known him for 20 years and we’ve been married for over 8 years. We have two kids together and a third on the way. Our lives aren’t perfect, but we certainly love what we have built. We’ve been blessed.

But can I tell you a secret?

My love for him is not why we are together. Sure, loves plays a role. After all, I would never marry a man I didn’t love…deeply.

But is love all there is?

Heck no!

At an early age, I knew I would need far more than love to stay with a man and invest time and energy into building a future with him.

I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but when it comes to building a healthy, happy marriage, I think love is overrated. Sometimes people act like if the love is there, everything else will fall into place.

That just isn’t so.

And don’t get me wrong; I don’t have an issue with love. I think it’s a beautiful emotion and it can bring a relationship to new heights.

But I think all too often, women get caught up in how love feels  and ignore other very critical aspects of their relationship that are just as important (if not more important) than that loving feeling.

So while love truly is great, I want women to really think about what else matters. I want women to be able to walk away from a relationship early on- – even if the love is present.  Because some things really do matter a lot more than love.

Here are 5 things that should matter way more than that loving feeling…

Signs of Abuse

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I know a few women who have been in abusive relationships. As a friend, it’s hard for me to see someone I love suffer. No woman ever deserves to be abused. And one thing that they tend to have in common is that they love the man so much. They truly want to see the good in him.

Some things can’t be overlooked in the name of love

Although I get that, I also know that some things can’t be overlooked in the name of love. If your man shows even the slightest sign of being emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive, I can assure you that the love you feel for him won’t sustain you. You deserve better and he needs to get help.

Lack of Support

Loving you and supporting you should go hand in hand, but that isn’t always the case. So even if your man claims to love you, if you find that he never helps you with anything and he has no interest in supporting your passions and dreams, you have to wonder if you can spend a lifetime living like that. Support is a critical component of every healthy relationship and without it, resentment begins to build up and the relationship suffers.

Emotional Stability

Emotional stability is complicated, so I am not suggesting that you should leave your man if he suffers from depression, anxiety, or some other managed mental health issue. However, I know a lot of women who stay with men who have anger issues or are emotionally manipulative and I think it’s so unhealthily. If someone has a mental health issue, they need to seek professional help. Your love won’t fix him. And if he refuses to seek help, it will begin to severely impact the quality of your life. Your love can help him cope, but it can’t really address what’s wrong.

Lack of Integrity

There is no bigger red flag than a man that says one thing and does another. I don’t care how much your man claims to love you, if he lacks integrity you are headed down a painful path. Love is not just about how someone feels, but it’s about what someone does. If you can’t trust your mate to keep his word or follow through with promises, the love you feel for each other just won’t matter much after a while.

Financial Responsibility

No, you don’t need to be with a man that makes six figures. But you also don’t want to be with a man that is financially irresponsible. And to be honest, the six-figure guy can be irresponsible too. Having money doesn’t mean you know what to do with it. Sure, you can have a happy marriage even if you have some slight differences in opinion when it comes to managing money.

Love doesn’t make deposits into your bank account and it won’t do a damn thing when you can’t eat.

But having slight differences in opinion is different than the stress of dealing with someone that’s financially reckless. Love doesn’t make deposits into your bank account and it won’t do a damn thing when you can’t eat. Just keep that in mind,

BMWK family, do you think love is enough to make a relationship last?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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