Ladies: Two Conversation Starters that Will Get Him to Ask You Out on a Date

BY: - 31 Mar '17 | Relationships

Share this article!

TNMCoupleDateNatureFeature

Do you secretly feel awkward around men you find attractive because you just don’t know what to say to them when they approach you?

Does online dating feel like a chore because you don’t know how to respond to all those “winks” and “flirts” that men send?

Let me help a sista out by giving you the top 2 conversation starters my clients have used online and offline to help them effortlessly get men to ask them out.

1. The “Can You Help Me?” Technique

I know when you’re a strong, independent woman, you don’t like asking anyone for help.  But that little 4-letter word is music to a masculine man’s ears! Men love to feel needed. And when you ask for help, you’ll get their attention.

Here’s how it works:

Let’s say you’re in the grocery store and you see an attractive man in the toilet paper aisle. You casually walk by him and say, “Excuse me, can you help me get the tissues on the top shelf? I’m not tall enough to reach it.” 

If he’s a gentleman, he’ll oblige. From there, you can say “thank you” and start small talk. If he’s single and interested, he’ll continue the conversation with you and ask you for your phone number.

2. The “Either/Or” Technique

If you wait for the man you want to write to you when you’re using an online dating site, you may be waiting a long time! In fact, Kevin Lewis, of the University of San Diego and Ken-Hou Lin of the University of Massachusetts, two social scientists who have studied the impact of race in online dating, suggest that Black women should initiate conversations with men online to overcome the challenges they face with men not reaching out to them.

If you don’t make the first move, you could end up with an inbox of cliche messages like, “hey beautiful” or “you deserve a flirt!”

So, if you want more meaningful messages that will actually get you offline to a real conversation (and a date), then use my either/or technique! It works like a charm.

Here’s how it works:

Read the guy’s profile and find one of his hobbies or interests and then ask him about what he’d prefer from your two options. For example, let’s say he likes movies. You could send a first message which reads, “If we were going to the movies, would you rather see a horror movie or an action movie?”

Then, you sit back and wait for him to respond. If you’re shy about using the power of suggestion by mentioning that you’d be on a date with him, you could simply write, “Hey there! Which do you prefer: horror movies or comedies?” The point is simply to start the conversation in a way that’s fun and easy and doesn’t put too much pressure on yourself to impress anyone.

With these techniques, you’ll be able to effortlessly begin small talk with any man. You won’t look desperate or thirsty, because you’ll put the ball in his court to take the next step.

Single ladies, what are your favorite conversation starters? Share them with the the BMWK family! 

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 153 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

Leave a Reply

Get
Single/Dating Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

5 Things that Should Matter More than How Much Your Man Makes

BY: - 31 Mar '17 | Relationships

Share this article!

tnmcoupledateshopmoney_feature

My husband is the primary breadwinner in our home. I love and appreciate him for that and so much more. He provides for all of us, and I never question how important that is to him.

But I also know that our current situation can change at any moment. I know that a time may come when I make more than he does. I know that the possibility of losing his job is always on the table because nothing in life is guaranteed. But I also know that no matter what, he’s got my back and I have his. I know that he is a man of character and he will always find a way to provide for us—even when times get rough.

I also know that money matters. We have a mortgage to pay and kids to feed. But money isn’t everything. I know that if a woman judges her man only on his capacity to earn more income, something is wrong. Sure, you want a man who loves you and is able and willing to provide for you, but that can’t be all he’s worth to you. There has to be more. You have to want more. If you don’t, what happens when he loses his job? What happens if the money fades or you start earning more than he does? Where will your relationship stand?

So yes, money does matter, but here are 5 things that should matter more than how much your man makes.

Does he keep his word?

Money is nice but it’s definitely not what makes my husband an amazing man. What I love most about him is the fact that he keeps his word. If he says he will do something, he does it. Now it may take him a little longer than I’d like at times, but that’s another story. Your man can make all the money in the world, but if you can’t trust that he will do what he says he will do with that money, I don’t think his income matters all that much.

Is he responsible?

Making money isn’t as important as being responsible. A man that makes six figures can easily be worth less than a man that makes half that, if the six-figure guy is irresponsible when it comes to managing his money. Women should be less worried about how much her man is brining in and  more concerned about what he actually does with the money he earns.

Can he keep his ego in check?

Ego-driven responses are typically damaging to any relationship. You need to be with a man that will make financial decisions based on what’s best for his family, not based on his ego. You also need a man that can embrace and accept a woman making more than he does because he sees it as a path for the entire family to thrive. When a man’s ego controls his actions, his income is of little importance.

Does he appreciate what you do?

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or busy building an empire, you need a man in your life that sees everything you do and appreciates all of it. If your man is busy making money and he believes his role is the most important role in the home simply because of how much he makes, it can cause problems. Earning money is not the only way someone adds values to a relationship and that should be understood whenever two people are involved with one another.

Does he have a strong sense of self?

Money comes and goes, but if a man is clear on who he is as a person, he can handle the challenging times that may lie ahead. Many men also believe their self-worth is based on their ability to provide for their families, so it’s even more important for them to be clear on who they are and what else they bring to the table as partners and fathers. A strong sense of self will help your man navigate the good and bad times with integrity and love, regardless of how much he makes.

BMWK family, what do you think matters more than how much your man makes?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 494 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress