9 Scriptures that Keep You From Harming Your Spouse with Your Words

BY: - 13 Apr '17 | Faith

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Sometimes you need to give your spouse the silent treatment. I know this sounds weird and contradictory, so let me explain. I’m talking about speaking life. And when you can’t speak life, that’s the time to use the silent treatment.

My mom (and maybe your mom too) used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Well that saying still holds true today and especially in your marriage where we are supposed to be on the same team.

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken at the right time. Proverbs 25:11 (AMP)

Our words contain so much power. We have the power to heal or hurt, bless or curse with our words. The words we speak over our marriage and over our spouse have a lot to do with our success or failure in the marriage relationship.

So here are 3 situations where it’s okay to take a step back until you get your words together.

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1. When you’re nagging and using contentious speech

Scripture says a lot about nagging and contentious speech. It’s talking about being disagreeable and argumentative. Everything becomes a battle of trying to prove a point versus reaching an outcome that is best for the marriage. Some people enjoy arguing. They get pleasure out of going back and forth. The better thing to do in marriage is to say what you mean and let it go. If a subject must be addressed again set a family meeting. Scripture:

  1. Proverbs 10:8 -The wise person accepts commands, but the chattering fool will be brought down.
  2. Proverbs 27:15 – A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike.
  3. Proverbs 21:9 – It’s better to live in a corner on the roof than to share a house with a contentious woman.

2. When you’re gossiping

This is a definition I learned – gossip: spreading intimate or private rumors or facts. Even if it’s a fact, if it’s intimate or private it should not be spread. When you know something about your spouse it gives you power. They have become vulnerable to you. That’s love. Love requires vulnerability. That vulnerability must be guarded and respected. Sharing intimate facts about your marriage with others violates that vulnerability. Thereby violating your love. Share the intimacies of your relationship only when seeking help and be sure to seek help from someone who is qualified. Scripture:

  1. Ephesians 4:29 (ISV) – Let no filthy talk be heard from your mouths, but only what is good for building up people and meeting the need of the moment. This way you will administer grace to those who hear you.
  2. James 1:26 (ISV) – If anyone thinks that he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, but instead deceives himself, his religion is worthless.
  3. Proverbs 11:13 (ISV) – Whoever spreads gossip betrays secrets, but the trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

3. When it’s the wrong time

Most of us have heard it said that timing is everything. A word spoken to your mate at the right time can be so positively powerful. Yet the same word spoken at the wrong time can tear down years of work. You know you mate better than anyone else. Use what you know to determine proper timing. If it’s not the right time, he’s where you invoke the silent treatment. Stay quiet on the matter until the time is right. One of my favorite scripture versions is Proverbs 25:11 it reads like this: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken at the right time.” Can you imagine your words being like gold in setting of silver? Wow, now that’s precious, rare, and set apart as special. Scripture:

  1. Psalm 1:3 (ISV) – He will be like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding its fruit in its season, and whose leaf does not wither. He will prosper in everything he does.
  2. Ecclesiastes 3:7 (ISV) – a time to tear, and a time to mend; a time to be silent, and a time to speak;
  3. Proverbs 25:11 (AMP) – Like apples of gold in settings of silver
    Is a word spoken at the right time.

Reverting to the silent treatment is a safeguard not a punishment when done with a heart of love and a diligence to search out the proper words that will heal, bring hope, and joy to your marriage relationship.

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About the author

Deborah L. Mills wrote 183 articles on this blog.

Coach, AUTHOR, Speaker, WIFE, Mom, and GRANDMOTHER. That's the gist of who I am. I love people and love to see their life and relationships thrive. As a coach I am ready to support your dream when you don't feel like it. As an author and speaker I am ready to pour into your life so that you can live your best life now. I am a personal and executive coach. Together with my husband I also marriage coach. GO TO MY WEBSITE. THERE IS A FREE GIFT THERE WAITING FOR YOU. http://bit.ly/2deborahlmills

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5 Ways to Have a Blessed Marriage…Starting Today

BY: - 10 Jul '17 | Faith

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Blessed. It’s one of those words that people like to use, especially to convey good wishes. Someone sneezes, we say “God bless you.” When asked, “How are you?” we reply with “I’m blessed.” When parting ways, we say, “Have a blessed day.” To be blessed is something we all desire, but blessings don’t always come easy.

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Often times, blessings are cultivated through hard work, sacrifice, and unlimited gratitude. Imagine, then, what that means for a blessed marriage. We all want one. The benefits of amazing marriages, successful marriages, thriving marriages, and so on is just a Google search and a click away. There are studies aplenty on the positive psychological impact a great marriage can offer. So, it’s important to recognize that regardless of the synonym, each spouse must be willing to do what it takes to breed a marriage in which they feel blessed. As such, we’ve got a few ideas, and scriptures, on how you can make sure your marriage is a blessing to you and the one you love.

Show Appreciation

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thessalonians 5:18. Whether it’s at work or at home, everyone likes to hear “well done,” or “thank you.” No matter what form appreciation comes in, it endears us to the giver. Marriage is no different. Unlimited gratitude offered up in good times and bad only serves to strengthen your bond of love. Take the time, on a daily basis, to show appreciation to your spouse. It will serve as a great reminder that things aren’t as hard as they seem and you are truly blessed.

If you truly desire for your marriage to be blessed, then making the effort to be spiritually strong is something that simply can’t be ignored.

Extend Lots of Mercy

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36. Everybody makes mistakes. In a  blessed and working marriage, mistakes are an opportunity to practice mercy. Mercy builds the character of a marriage. It allows each spouse to step back and look at things from the other’s perspective. The mercy giver’s heart can become fully engaged in their partner’s, drawing them closer together, in the process.

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Commit to Being a Peacemaker

“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9. Arguments are absolutely no fun. A house full of tension and stress is not a home anyone wants to come home to. In a blessed marriage, both the husband and wife have to make a decision to be a peacemaker regardless of who’s right and who’s wrong. Finding a peaceful way to settle an argument means that the health of the marriage is more important than your point. So before things boil over, commit to reaching a peaceful solution no matter what the cost.

Take Care of Your Physical and Emotional Health

The physical and emotional health of a marriage starts with the physical and emotional health of each spouse. If one partner is burning the candle at both ends and not taking the time to rejuvenate, it opens the door for hurt feelings and misunderstandings. He might want to get busy, but she is too tired. Or, she might want to go out to dinner and he just wants to stay at home. Working out and eating right provides both short and long term benefits. In the short term, you have the energy needed to make a blessed marriage work. In the long term, you have the health needed to make a blessed marriage last.

Take Care of Your Spiritual Health

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things…” 1 Timothy 4:8. This one should be a no-brainer but unfortunately is often neglected. If you want your marriage to be blessed, then it’s important to take it to God both individually and together. When your spirit is aligned with God’s, it makes it that much easier to fulfill all of the above. A spiritual perspective helps bring everything into focus. We’ve all heard the saying, “the prayers go up so the blessings can come down.” Those are not just empty words. If you truly desire for your marriage to be blessed, then making the effort to be spiritually strong is something that simply can’t be ignored.

We all want to have blessed marriages. But blessed marriages are nurtured, allowing them to become strong and healthy. The only way to achieve what you desire is to put in the time and effort to foster your relationship with your spouse. Then enjoy the blessings and pass it on.

BMWK, what steps do you need to take to have a blessed marriage?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 111 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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