3 Marriage Hacks That Will Instantly Improve Your Relationship

BY: - 19 May '17 | Marriage

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I’ve been married for almost 9 years to a man I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. What we have isn’t perfect but it works. It’s perfect for us.

We’ve faced ups and downs, but we have always done our best to maintain a healthy, happy marriage. We figure if we consistently take small steps to make this thing work, we can avoid the need to take major steps one day.

Now, I wish I had some magic pill to give you that could make your marriage stand the test of time, but I don’t. I don’t think happy a marriage comes easily. But I also don’t think they are as hard to come by as people make it seem. Even when your marriage is in a funky rut, there are simple steps you can take to improve things.

And listen, your marriage doesn’t have to be in serious trouble for you to want to improve things. Sometimes you may just feel like you are in a rut. Maybe you feel like the romance is fading. Maybe you are both exhausted and find that connecting with one another is a struggle. Or maybe you just need to spice things up after years of being together.

So how can you improve your marriage while keeping things simple? Here are three marriage hacks that can help.

Put Your Devices Away

I have a love-hate relationship with technology. It’s amazing and it has helped me stay connected to friends and family while also helping me grow my business. But technology definitely has a dark side. If you don’t mange it well it takes up way too much of your time and it can interfere with the parts of your life that matter to you most. If you want to improve your marriage, pick daily moments when you both choose to disconnect.

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Put your devices away, talk to each other, kiss each other, and just take a moment to remember why you married each other. Having a device in your hand (or within your reach) 24 hours a day is really not the healthiest thing for your lifestyle, and in the long run, it will hurt your marriage. This small decision can improve your relationship more than you realize.

Talk to Your Spouse Daily

Life is busy. I get it. You have kids and careers and family drama and it seems like there are never enough hours in the day to get things done. This is life for so many of us.

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That’s why, unless you make a conscious decision to talk to your spouse daily, your entire day can go by without one meaningful conversation taking place between the two of you. In an effort to stay connected and keep each other in the loop about things that matter, set aside a time to chat daily. If mornings work, have coffee together and enjoy some quiet time catching up before the kids wake up. If lunchtime is better, try to schedule a phone conversation (or an actually lunch date) during lunch. If you are evening people, sit down and catch up over a glass of wine after the kids are tucked in. It doesn’t really matter when you do it; what matters is whether or not you do it at all.

Express Appreciation Daily

One of the biggest complaints most people have about their spouses is feeling under-appreciated. It makes perfect sense. No one wants to feel like they constantly give without any recognition for it.

READ: 3 Simple Ways to Show Appreciation to Your Spouse

Sure, you may not need a huge fuss every time you do something simple, but it’s still really nice to know that the people you love see you and acknowledge what you do.

Make it your business to say or do something daily as an act of appreciation for your spouse and what he or she does. Let her know that you see her. Tell her that you are grateful for everything she does. Show him that his thoughtfulness makes a difference in your life.

When you take the time to show appreciation, I promise you will see instant improvement in how you communicate with each other, how connected you feel, and how much you want to express your love for one another.

BMWK family, what are some things you do to instantly improve your marriage?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 494 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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Is Your Marriage Worth the Fight? 6 Things to Consider Before You Call It Quits

BY: - 22 May '17 | Marriage

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When you commit your life to someone you don’t just commit to the good times, because the bad times are inevitable. There will be rough seasons and challenges that every relationship will face.

Some of those challenges will push you to your limits and test your love.

Some will have you thinking that you are better off being by yourself.

Some will have you reminiscing on how much better life might be if you were single again.

Some will have you wanting to call it quits and walk away from it all.

Love ain’t just black and white; Ain’t that simple ; It gets hard to tell whose wrong or right; When it’s dark with us; I swear I barely see the light; Should I stick it out? Are you worth this fight? Are we worth this fight? – Mary J. Blige

Mary J Blige asked the key question that many people in relationships ponder every day: “Are we worth this fight?” Well in order to determine if your relationship is worth the fight, there are a few things you should consider.

Is it just a bad season?

Relationships are just like years… and years have seasons.  In some seasons you are happy and connected and enjoying each other.  And in other seasons, you’re feeling disconnected, less intimate, and stressed. The problem is sometimes we only focus on the cold, barren seasons, instead of realizing that spring is right around the corner! The only way to get out of a bad season is to do the actions that you were doing in the good season. What you focus on is what will grow.

Remember why you started.

As we progress and get further away from the newlywed phase, we tend to forget why we made the choice to be together. Usually it was for love, lust, or because we saw this person as our better half. We wanted to build a family, we had relationship goals, and we wanted companionship.

Like with any plan, you have to continue to remember WHY you started and keep establishing goals to work towards the plan together. Getting stagnant causes stress and decreases purpose.

Have you really put in the work?

The reality is that many times we just give up too easily. The second you aren’t “feeling” your spouse anymore you think it’s time to run, not realizing that for anything to grow you must invest in it.

I meet couples every day who are on the brink of calling it quits, but haven’t been to one counseling session, haven’t read any books on relationships or done any relationship building activities. NEWS FLASH…relationships are about more than feelings; they’re about actions. You won’t get a return unless you invest in each other, yourselves, and the relationship.

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Is it really bigger than you?

Many relationships start off with folks making vows about sacrifice and commitment, but too often when feelings fade we tend to forget about all of that. Furthermore, many of us say we want to build a stable family ‘for the kids’ but that goes out the window the minute we start getting some outside attention. Ask yourself are you really making the sacrifices needed or have you gone back to a selfish mindset?

Is the grass really greener?

Often people search for that initial new relationship high because we want that feeling we had when the hormones were raging and everything was cute. Like a fiend we keep chasing it and because of that sometimes we get fooled into thinking that just being with someone new will solve all of our problems. Well, the truth is that the same seasons are bound to come with the new person too.  So you must decide whether to put the effort into fixing what you’ve invested in or do you keep just searching for that newness time after time, person after person?

Have you accepted your role in the situations?

Time for a gut check: Have you truly done some self-reflection and accepted the role you’ve played in the relationship issues? Most of us find it a lot easier to blame than to take any accountability. You don’t have to be perfect, but at least be accountable because that’s where the growth and rebuilding starts.

I’m not saying that every relationship can be repaired and put back on track but I am saying that I think we should at least put some real thought and effort into it before calling it quits. Sometimes your relationship truly is worth the fight, but you have to have your gloves on and be in the ring to tough it out!

BMWK – Is your marriage worth the fight?

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

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