7 Signs The Bad Outweighs The Good In Your Relationship

BY: - 4 May '17 | Marriage

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Every relationship has its ups and downs. You may argue, not talk to each other for a few days, and then kiss and make up.  In fact, conflict in a relationship is normal and it’s one of the ways couples can increase their intimacy with each other, because they’re both sharing their needs and wants, and figuring out a way to make it all work.

But how much conflict is too much? What if there’s more arguing than kissing and making up? Is your relationship doomed?Let me share with you 7 signs that the bad outweighs the good in your relationship and what you can do about it.

7 Signs the Bad Outweighs the Good

You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells

Do you feel like you have to censor yourself around your partner because any little thing can set him/her off? This is a sign that there’s a missing element with your partner which is crucial for a relationship to work: acceptance. If you feel like you can’t be yourself, then the bad times have taken over your relationship.

Criticism replaces communication 

You can’t have a regular conversation anymore because you both find yourself constantly criticizing each other.  What used to be playful banter over you being late for a date now turns into a full blown argument. The tension between you is so thick you could cut it with a knife! This is a huge sign that your focus is no longer on the good things you admire about each other, and you’re only focused on what you don’t like.

There’s no reciprocity 

You partner doesn’t initiate phone calls or dates anymore. When you’re affectionate with your partner, he seems cold. It seems the more you reach out, the more he withdraws. The lack of reciprocity is a sign that your partner has disconnected from the relationship and is just going through the motions.

You stop being friends

It feels like you’re both living separate lives. You don’t know what’s going on in his inner circle and you aren’t included in the decisions he makes. The foundation of your relationship is cracked!

There’s no trust

Trust is fragile. When it’s broken, either because of infidelity or because of unmet expectations, it can be challenging to maintain a relationship. You must repair the ruptures if the relationship is to move back into a season of good times.

You’re making excuses about his/her bad behavior

If you feel embarrassed to tell your friends and family what’s really going on in your relationship.  And instead, you make up excuses about why your partner has changed, it’s a sign that what you’re going through isn’t just a phase.

You’re blaming each other

Maybe you’re not covering for your partner; maybe you’re blaming your partner for the problems in the relationship. The blame game prevents you from actually coming up with solutions for your relationship challenges and pushes you further apart.

Sound Familiar?

Did any of these signs sound familiar? If so, it’s time to ask yourself if you’re just going through a rough season or if these are persistent problems. All relationships have problems, so you shouldn’t break up just because you have conflict with each other. However, if you’re facing unsolvable problems such as trust issues, abuse, and other harmful behaviors, you need to understand that these issues will not disappear without help, and a willingness from both people to work on the relationship.

BMWK, Do you feel that your relationship can be restored or are you ready to part ways? Share your answers below!


Stop Fussing & Fighting: 5 Keys to Successful Communication in Your Marriage - You'll Learn the Most Important Steps to Stop Fussing & Fighting and to Finally Feel Heard In Your Marriage! If Your Marriage Needs Better Communication This Is for You! Click here to get started!

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 173 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.


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