8 Old School Ways to Meet People

BY: - 15 May '17 | Single

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Most singles have a sincere desire to be in a committed monogamous relationship. However connecting with the right person in 2017 can be challenging, especially in the real world. With the number of dating apps available, having someone spend their evenings swiping right to left, and constantly viewing profiles on dating websites can cause Online Dating Fatigue (yes, its a real thing). But with so many people online, how do you connect with a potential mate offline?

Here are 8 old school ways that still work:

Cruise the city: I’ve heard so many stories of people connecting while driving down the street or stopped at a red light. Next time you are driving or at a red light, don’t be so intent on looking straight ahead. Look to the right or the left, and smile (if applicable) at the person in the car beside you. You never know who you might meet.

Get Social: Go out and attend events. Connect with people in real time and begin to expand your circle of friends. In doing so, you will also expand your exposure to a new group of prospects.

Blind Dates: Allow your friends to introduce you to someone new. If it doesn’t work out, you might have made a new friend who can introduce you to one of their friends.

Attend events: Attend them alone and not with your friends. By attending solo, you become more approachable, you are able to move around freely, you won’t be distracted and you don’t have the boredom or impatience of your friends to worry about.

Chance Encounter: The next time you run an errand, visit the gym, go shopping, etc. don’t be so fixated on your destination that you miss the people you are passing by. Back in the day, the mall was our hang out in high school. Our sole purpose was to meet boys from other schools and we achieved our goal every time. I believe we were successful because our intention was to meet new people. What is your intention? Don’t be so absorbed in completing your to do list that you aren’t open to a chance encounter.

Step outside of your comfort zone: Go places you’ve never gone and do things you’ve never done such as, whitewater rafting, ice skating, zip lining, a sporting event, tour your city, travel etc. You will not only experience new adventures, but you are likely to meet new people as you pursue your endeavors.

New Hang Out: If you keep going to the same place, you are going to see the same people. Find new venues in the city and to hang out.

Be Confident, Friendly & Smile: You never know the message you are communicating so pay attention to your demeanor. You always want to present yourself as being approachable. By smiling you are more welcoming and inviting to engage in a conversation.

Online dating is great for some people, but I just believe that we have lost the ability to connect with others in real time. We no longer know how to be social without having a telephone glued to our hands or how to connect with others outside of a group texting app. We have to become social and get offline to not only connect with the real world but also with other human beings in order to have successful relationships.

BMWK, the relationship you desire might be on the other side of your phone, if you will just look up.

About the author

Judi Mason wrote 61 articles on this blog.

Judi Mason is an Empowerment Strategist, whose mission is to empower You to become your best authentic self. As an accomplished author, Judi has garnered much success with her self-help books and workshops; including her popular Girl Talk: Relationship 101 events- which was birthed from her best-selling book, The Relationship Chronicles- Real Love, Straight Talk No Drama. As a sought after speaker, Judi uses multiple platforms from the marketplace to ministry; to enable individuals to pursue and fulfill their God ordained purpose with passion, in life, love and entrepreneurship.

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3 Warning Signs Someone Is Bread-crumbing You and Isn’t Worth Your Time

BY: - 18 May '17 | Single

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Has this ever happened to you? You meet a man (maybe using a dating app) and you have great conversation. He sends you text messages every day and he calls you every night for a week. He then says, “We should get together on Saturday,” and he tells you about one of his favorite restaurants and how he’d love to take you there. You say, “it’s a date!” But when the weekend rolls around, he’s nowhere to be found. You send a text but he doesn’t answer. Why did he stop texting you? Were you just hearing things? Did you not have a date?

You just experienced bread-crumbing, a new version of bad behavior in modern dating. Bread-crumbing is the cray-cray cousin of ghosting, but unlike Ghosts who might date you for weeks, months or even years and then disappear into thin air without so much as a good bye text, Bread-crumbers tend to lead you on, creating false hope, and crushing your self-esteem.

I want to help you save your sanity by sharing 3 warning signs someone is bread-crumbing you.

1. They never make concrete plans

One of my clients frantically texted me because the man she’d met online had asked her out and sent her a link to the restaurant. On the day they were supposed to meet up, he never called or texted her. “We never set a time, but we did agree on a day for our date,” she told me.

I told her that unless you have a time, location and place, plus a follow up call from the person who asked you out, it’s not a real date!

Bread-crumbers have a propensity to make vague plans, painting a picture of what they’d like to do “one day,” but they never put all of the pieces in place to make it happen.

2. They lurk around your life

Unlike Ghosts who will completely vanish, Bread-crumbers will lurk on your social media and pop in and out of your life. One of my clients recently experienced this with a man who took her out on a few dates, but then vanished for about 3 months. She then noticed he was liking and commenting on her social media photos.

He then slid into her DMs, asking if they could get together sometime. He’d already disappeared once, and now he was popping back into her life, as though nothing had ever happened.  I told her that a man who doesn’t have enough integrity to consistently communicate with her wasn’t worth her time.

You deserve better than someone who feeds you crumbs of attention, but never serves up the whole meal of a real date or relationship.

3. They keep conversations on a surface level

If the person you’re talking to never goes beyond the typical flirty conversations that some people have when they first meet, that could be a warning sign that you’re dealing with a Bread-crumber. Some theories are that Bread-crumbers live in a fantasy world, and only use online dating to boost their egos. They hide behind their smartphones, flirt with you, and sell you a dream of what’s possible, but they never have receipts to back up that dream! Don’t waste your time with them!

You deserve better than someone who feeds you crumbs of attention, but never serves up the whole meal of a real date or relationship. These daters are not worth your time, so if you recognize any of these warning signs, cut these bread-crumbers off and move on to someone who is stable, consistent and emotionally available.

BMWK, what warning signs have you noticed that reveal someone is going to bread-crumb you? 

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 156 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.

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