5 Things Every Wife Needs Her Husband to Understand

BY: - 19 Jun '17 | Communication

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If there is anything almost nine years of marriage has taught me, it’s that I can’t get my husband to read my mind. Yep, despite my best efforts, that brotha just can’t do it. Consider it a shortcoming if you must, but I realize that he’s just human.

My husband is actually human.

Shocking, right? After all, didn’t he get the memo that marrying me meant that he needed to meet my needs without instruction? Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit. I never expected my husband to be a mind reader. As nice as it sounds, it’s not possible. I mean, I can’t read his mind. And sometimes when I try, it doesn’t work out too well. I’m better off just asking the right questions and gathering information.

But with what I have figured out over the years, I’ve come to appreciate that there are a few important things that I just need my husband to understand. And I can’t assume he will just figure these things out on his own. That’s unreasonable. I’ve made it my business to communicate these things to him.

And can I tell you something?

Those conversations have made all the difference. They’ve allowed me to be clear about where I stand on certain issues, and they’ve given my husband the opportunity to understand where I stand.

After talking to a few married friends, I realize that most women want their husbands to understand the same things…because even though each marriage is unique, we all have our commonalities.

Here are five things every wife needs her husband to understand.

A little appreciation goes a long way.

This should go without saying, but I think wives need to say it to their husbands to avoid resentment. Your wife needs to be appreciated, verbally and through your actions. And when you show her appreciation, she remembers it. She appreciates you for expressing it. She is thankful you recognize her efforts. Your appreciation goes a very, very long way.

Honesty is the best chance you have at repairing damage.

If you’ve done anything to damage your marriage, don’t lie about it. Tell your wife the truth. Yes, tell her the truth even if it’s painful for her to hear. You see, the only thing that will hurt her more than hearing the truth from you is discovering it on her own. And that’s usually what happens. Be honest, deal with the consequences, and give your marriage a fighting chance.

Some decisions just aren’t about you.

When you marry someone, two lives are joined forever. There should be a mutual interest in growing together. But don’t forget that your wife is her own person. She was whole before she met you. Her decisions about her dreams and goals and passions are not always about you. They often have nothing to do with you. Sometimes, she just needs your love and support, not for you to fix things. Let her sort through some things on her own. She will come to you when she needs help.

You need to give one hundred percent.

People tend to say that marriage is 50/50, but I think that line of thought can land you in trouble. In order for things to work, consider thinking about your marriage as a 100/100 partnership. Expect your wife to give one hundred percent and you plan to give one hundred percent as well. You get what you give, so give your marriage everything you’ve got.

Love is essential, but it isn’t enough.

It’s important for a woman to feel loved by the man she chose to spend a lifetime with, but love alone isn’t enough. Are you communicating with your wife? Are you building a vision together? Are you showing her appreciation? Do you respect her? Do you listen to her? Do you go on dates with her? Remember that you can’t build a happy marriage on love alone. You need a stronger foundation than that.

BMWK family, what are some things you wish you wife or husband understood?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 494 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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5 Conversations You Can’t Avoid If You Want A Happy Marriage

BY: - 22 Jun '17 | Communication

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In order for your marriage to stand the test of time, you have to be able to communicate your needs, frustrations, desires, and so much more. Without communication, your marriage inevitably suffers.

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a happy marriage.

But what some people fail to realize is that it’s not just a matter of communicating. Even if you talk to your spouse daily about 101 things, your marriage is still in trouble if you both avoid talking about the really important stuff, the stuff that makes most folks uncomfortable.

Now, I’m not suggesting you talk to your spouse about the tough stuff daily. That’s just exhausting. But I am saying that avoiding that stuff for too long can lead to trouble. For a marriage to be successful, you and your spouse have to be able to discuss and debate the things that matter most. If you don’t, your marriage will surely begin to suffer as a result frustration and resentment.

So while you are working on improving your communication skills with your spouse, you should also give some thought to whether or not you are having these important conversations…

Financial Matters

If there is one thing people hate talking about, it’s money. Sadly, though, this happens a lot in marriages. Many couples have their own personal financial belief system, and that can sometimes lead to financial secrets. No good can come from avoiding these conversations with your spouse. As difficult as it may be, talk to your mate about money. Share your concerns and your hopes. Even with differences in opinion, you have to be able to discuss money and reach a common ground if you want to avoid turmoil down the road.

Sex

Whether you are in a sexless marriage, or one where sex happens pretty regularly, chances are you don’t talk about sex as much as you should. Intimacy is a huge part of a marriage and you should be able to discuss it candidly. Talk about your desires and your fantasies. Let your partner what you like and what you don’t like. If these conversations happen frequently, it has the potential to help you grow closer to your spouse and improve your sex lives.

In-Laws

So many people have a laundry list of complaints about their in-laws, but the necessary conversations with their spouses are not taking place. When problems occur with your in-laws, avoiding the topic rarely resolves a thing. However uncomfortable it may be, you have to be able to talk to your spouse about what’s going on so you can land on the same page and manage family conflicts as a united front.

Deferred Dreams

Are you holding on to a life-long dream that you haven’t shared with your spouse or you feel like it’s too late to pursue? Don’t do it. Talk to your mate about your dream. Ask for his support. Pray together about it. Discuss whether or not you can pursue it now. Very few things cause as much resentment in a marriage as letting go of a dream and always wondering, “what if.”

Long-terms Goals

You are both concerned about your day-to-day expenses and saving for the kids to go to college, but barely talk about what you really want your own lives to look like once the kids are all grown up. Sit down with your spouse and have an honest heart-to-heart about what you want your lives to look like in 10, 20, or 30 years.

BMWK family, what conversations are you avoiding with your spouse?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 494 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.

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