11 “Not So Easy” Topics Every Married Couple Needs to Discuss

BY: - 7 Jun '17 | Communication

Share this article!

TNMTalkCoupleSeriousFeature

Somewhere in the world right now, there is a couple arguing about one of these topics. And while I can’t answer any of these questions for you, communication and compromise are key.

1. Can you still have opposite sex friends?

Some say yes…because many friendships are platonic.  And some say no…because it’s a set up for infidelity or it’s disrespectful. What do you think? What are the boundaries?

2. How much time should you spend with your single friends?

Some would say single friends are nothing but trouble for married people because of the season they are in and the undue influence. Others say it doesn’t matter because friendships shouldn’t have to end once someone gets married. What’s the compromise in your mind?

3. Should you tone down your sexy?

Some say if I work for it (or bought it) I earned the right to show off all my sexy. Others say when you become a wife or husband you should tone it down so as to not get that kind of attention. Y’all tell me…what do you think?

4. Are conversations with exes still okay?

Some say he or she might be an ex, but now their relationship is strictly that of friends. Others say once you cross that line there isn’t any un-crossing it and being friends with your ex isn’t cool. I’m sure there isn’t a one size fits all answer, but I’m interested in hearing thoughts!

5. Should your spouse have access to all your social media and passwords to your phone?

Some folks think being married is not synonymous with forgoing all privacy, while others say once you’re married there is no privacy between spouses. I’m sure y’all have some opinions on this one!

6. What time is it “disrespectful” to come back in the house?

If you have a boys’ or girls’ night out is there a married people’s curfew? Some say like your mama used to say that “ain’t nothing good happening after midnight in the streets!” Is there a time that coming in after gets to be “disrespectful?”

7. How much time is too much time with your boys/girls?

One of the things that causes lots of arguments is when your spouse spends too much time with their squad. Well what is too much time? What if they still spend appropriate time with you as well, is it still an issue?

8. Can you still go out of town without your spouse?

Should you be going on girls’ and guys’ trips without your spouse? Should you be going to social events out of town without your wife or husband by your side? Some say for sure and others don’t like it. What do you think?

9. How much sex should be expected?

Some people say if you get married sex should be on the table at any time, while others say it’s unreasonable to expect sex numerous times during a week because of work, kids, responsibilities, and just being tired. How come frequency of sex seems to be such a big issue?

10. Can you have a “work wife’ or “work husband?” Is this okay, or out of bounds?

Is this kosher or just off limits?

11. How much marital business should be shared with friends or family?

Some people think it’s okay to vent to parents, siblings or friends about strife going on in the marriage while others say everything that happens in the marriage should stay between the husband and wife ONLY. This one causes all kinds of arguments so what’s the answer?

So, these are 11 controversial topics that consistently come up in marriages around the world. And although I didn’t offer up any advice about them, I think they must be discussed. My point is that issues in marriage are more universal than we think and you aren’t in it alone, but communicating expectations is the key. Each couple may see these things differently but the compromise will only happen through clear communication!

BMWK Family what are your thoughts? How would you answer the questions above.

FREE TRAINING FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION:

Stop Fussing & Fighting: 5 Keys to Successful Communication in Your Marriage - You'll Learn the Most Important Steps to Stop Fussing & Fighting and to Finally Feel Heard In Your Marriage! If Your Marriage Needs Better Communication This Is for You! Click here to get started!

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

Leave a Reply

Get
Communication Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

Communication in Marriage: 4 Signs You and Your Spouse are Finally Maturing

BY: - 15 Jun '17 | Communication

Share this article!

tnmcouplestarefacetoface_feature

Okay let’s be honest…if you’re with someone for any extended period an argument or two is inevitable. Sometimes the smallest things just turn into WWII for no reason. Emotions get high, things are said that shouldn’t be, and then a week later you’re still mad at each other. Let’s just say my wife and I had a little spat yesterday.  But as I look back at it, I realized how far we’ve come in HOW we argue or disagree.  We’re really maturing. And here are 4 signs we’ve really matured in the way we communicate with each other.

Click Here to Take the Five Day Communication Challenge

1. You think before you speak

Lord knows as spouses we know just what to say to hit our mate’s hot buttons. Sometimes we want to go for the jugular and knock them out for the count. As you begin to mature more in your relationship, you will learn how to manage both your IMPULSE and RESPONSE.

I know there are times where I want say that one thing to set her off or make her “feel” it. But as I’ve matured, I realized that I shouldn’t want to hurt her just because my feelings might be hurt. I’ve learned how to walk away, pause and process before  saying the pettiest thing that comes to mind. At the end of the day, we should build each other up and not break each other down.

2. You are conscious of your tone

Growing up you always heard “sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”  Well, the same still holds true as an adult. If all your disagreements turn into shouting matches, then odds are nothing is getting accomplished.

A raised tone in voice causes defensiveness and when two people are defensive nothing gets communicated. A calm tone quickly turns a confrontation into a conversation where you are communicating and not defending yourself.

3. You are able to admit when you are wrong

PRIDE is one of the most dangerous things in a relationship. When two people can’t admit their part in a disagreement is just drives a wedge between them. Most times in an argument both people contributed in some way or another but pride causes many not to want to admit it. In my disagreement with my wife I didn’t want to admit I was wrong but knowing that it’s bigger than me helped break down that pride barrier and I could then admit my shortcoming. Admitting it quickly tore down the walls and got us back on the same page.

4. You don’t stay mad for long periods of time

Pride also has a lot to do with how long you allow the tension and attitude between you to linger. Sometimes an argument that happened on Sunday is still lingering on the next Friday. In the meantime, you aren’t talking to each other much, you’re being short, and you’re lacking sweetness  intimacy. You are wasting valuable time being mad when you could be spending that time being in love. I don’t know about you, but my house is a lot happier when the tension is low.

Of course, disagreements will happen in your relationship. Two imperfect people together will result in an imperfect marriage that you must have skills to get through. Truthfully, it all starts with being conscious…because the more conscious you are the better you can control your behaviors and the happier your marriage will be. The more you learn to not let pride dominate HOW you argue, then the arguments become a lot less intense and a lot shorter lived. With maturity arguments turn into conversations, not confrontations!

BMWK – based on these signs, are you and your spouse maturing in the way you communicate with each other.

FREE TRAINING FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION:

Stop Fussing & Fighting: 5 Keys to Successful Communication in Your Marriage - You'll Learn the Most Important Steps to Stop Fussing & Fighting and to Finally Feel Heard In Your Marriage! If Your Marriage Needs Better Communication This Is for You! Click here to get started!

About the author

Troy Spry wrote 225 articles on this blog.

Troy Spry a Certified Life, Dating, and Relationship Coach and the one and only "Reality Expert", resides in Charlotte, NC. He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration! He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress