20 God-Centered Tips for a Successful Christian Marriage Outside of Church

BY: - 31 Aug '17 | Faith

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Going to church when I was a kid was fun. I mean, I got to see my friends and make jokes in the pews and eventually learn a thing or two in Sunday school. I got to see the different roles people had and learned to respect their service in the church. But, I remember one of the first times the image of one of the women I looked up to got twisted.

She was one person I thought was really close to Jesus. Her daughter and I were good friends and on one particular Sunday, I was invited to their home after church. Her husband did not go to church so that was my first time meeting him. Honestly, I don’t remember much more about the visit besides the following.

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Whatever the reason, she and her husband didn’t see eye to eye. This woman, who I just knew was personal friends with the Lord, cussed her husband up one side and down the other. I can still feel myself looking at her in complete shock. The woman who stood before me giving her husband the business was completely different from the woman who praised the name of the Lord at church. I couldn’t believe my eyes and my ears.

I have since learned that not every person who claims to love God is willing to approach marriage from His perspective. However, for those who choose to embrace the principles of Christianity that are important to a true “Christian” marriage, the following tips should be useful.

  1. Love the way God loves us should be an easy concept to grasp for Christians. 1 Corinthians 13 pretty much lays out the kind of love that God desires for our relationships. Marriage is no exception.
  2. Remember that Christ is the head of your relationship. By keeping this in mind, you won’t be so quick to push for what YOU want but rather what GOD wants in and from your marriage.
  3. Submitting to one another is not as tough as it sounds.  At times, putting your partner’s wants and needs above yours is more than just a good idea. It’s Biblical, and straight out of Ephesians 5:21.
  4. It’s good to speak the truth; just don’t forget the love.  As a Christian, it’s important to tell the truth in your relationship. But to do so without tact or compassion is not a good look if you claim to follow Jesus. Check out Ephesians 4:15
  5. Being a peacemaker goes a long way towards a healthy marriage. Matthew 5:9 tells us that peacemakers are called “children of God.” As a child of God, always seek out ways to establish peace rather than havoc in your marriage.
  6. Practice self denial even though it’s hard. When you deny yourself for your spouse, you gain a greater gift in your marriage. Matthew 16:25 promises life to those who deny themselves for Christ’s sake. So watching the chick flick with your wife when you don’t feel like it can actually strengthen your marriage.
  7. Pray together as much as possible. While one of the most challenging things for Christian couples to do, this is one of the most effective. Matthew 18:19-20 reminds us of the importance of two people agreeing in prayer.
  8. Learn to forgive  – It’s not easy to let stuff go when you have been hurt. But, Colossians 3:13 encourages us to forgive as we’ve been forgiven.
  9. Do not keep a record of wrongs – This is not only harmful, but it is a waste of time. Take heed to 1 Corinthians 13:5 and give your energy to uplifting your marriage.
  10. Spiritual intimacy is about more than just praying together. Discuss the things you pray about with your spouse and worship God together. In Proverbs 31 we see a couple equally matched in their walk with God and it increased their level of spiritual intimacy. It can do the same for you.

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  1. Being faithful to your spouse should be par for the course. It should go without saying to stay true to your spouse and your marriage vows. But in case there’s some doubt, read, study, understand and implement Hebrews 13:4.
  2. Enjoy sexual intimacy as God intended. Sex and the Christian couple can be a beautiful thing when you are emotionally and spiritually connected. Enjoy Song of Solomon 4:10 and Matthew 19:5.
  3. Deal with your finances from a Godly perspective. Christian marriages are just as susceptible to financial strife as any other. Tackle the issue of money God’s way. Matthew 6:24-33 can clue you in.
  4. Don’t go to bed angry. This is easier said than done, even for Christians. But, it’s not impossible. Let Ephesians 4:26 be your guide to rid yourself of anger even if its cause lingers.
  5. Pursue righteousness in your relationship. You have a choice in your relationship of whether to pursue things that build it up or those that tear it down. When God comes first, Proverbs 15:9 tells why righteousness is the way to go.

  1. Be humble towards your mate and apologize quickly.The Christian heart should be sensitive to hurting others, much less your life partner. Own up to your mistakes as in Psalm 51:3.
  2. Sin shouldn’t get a pass in your relationship. Christian couples can form unspoken truces…”you leave me alone with my sin, and I’ll leave you alone with yours.” To help each other grow, and without being judgmental, call sin out when you see it.
  3. Allow God’s Spirit to work in your marriage. When Christian couples allow God’s Spirit to work, there’s an emotional connection they experience that helps to lead to the success of their union. See Ephesians 5:17-18
  4. Lead by example just as Jesus did. This one can be a little tricky for some couples.  Suffice it to say that doing the right thing doesn’t give you bragging rights. It just means you’ve taken 1 Corinthians 11:1 to heart.
  5. Work daily towards unity in your marriage. Colossians 3:13-14 should be the go-to scripture for Christian marriages. It just about covers it all but wraps it up nicely with the importance of unity.

There are so many other scriptures and principles that can be used as a blueprint for a healthy Christian marriage. But hopefully, this list will serve as a great place to start.

BMWK, what principles and scriptures have you found useful in building a successful Christian marriage?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 121 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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3 Prayers to Strengthen You When Your Desire for Marriage is Overwhelming

BY: - 14 Sep '17 | Faith

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Growing up, I wasn’t exactly what you would call…a planner. I mean, you hear about people who have their lives planned down to the casket. Me, not so much. And, when it came to getting married, that attitude prevailed. So, when 30 came and went, I can’t say I was thrilled about being single. In fact, I started to get a bit antsy. And then, I made a spiritual decision that changed everything.

What about you? Did your life plans include already being married by now? Are you wondering if you will ever get married? Is life screaming by and you’re desperately asking “what about me?” Well, here are 3 prayers for when you hear your  marriage clock ticking and your desire to find “the one” becomes overwhelming.

A Prayer to Share My Heart

Lord, I learn from Hannah (1 Samuel 1:1-20) that I can share the deepest and the biggest desires of my heart with You. So, I come to share with You that my heart’s desire is to be happily married. I want You to send me someone with whom I can share my life. I want to find the man whom I can love with all of my heart and who will love me the same way in return. I want to join with the man whom I can serve You alongside of as we bring glory to Your name and do effective ministry for Your Kingdom. Lord, I know that I am complete in You, but there is still a longing in my heart to connect with a man so that we can become one in Your sight. I admit that I get lonely. I confess that I see others around me who are married and think to myself that I want that, too. I am being honest and open with You, Father. I want to be married.

Dear Lord, please send the right man at the right time. If he is not the right man who loves You and will love me, please don’t send him my way. If it is not the right time because You have other plans for me during this season of my life, then help me to be patient and wait on You. But, when that right time comes, please send that right man to me. That is the cry of my heart. Thank You for hearing me. In Jesus name, Amen.

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A Prayer to Trust

Lord, I read in Your word that I should learn to trust in You with all my heart and that I should not lean on my own understanding of what is going on in my life. Instead, in everything in my life, I should acknowledge You, and You will direct my steps down the path of life (Proverbs 3:5-6). Help me to do that Lord. When there are parts of my life that I don’t understand, help me to trust You. When I question why I am not married yet, help me to trust You. When I question if I will ever meet that right man or ever get to say “I do,” help me to trust You. When my schedule for when I thought I would be married has come and gone, help me to trust You. When the nights get long and lonely or another Friday night comes with nothing to do and no one to do it with, help me to trust You.

I want to trust that You have my best interest at heart. I want to trust that Your plan is right. I want to trust that You know what You are doing. But, sometimes it is hard. I need Your help so that I can trust You more. Lord, please direct my paths. Dictate my steps. Orchestrate my days. Oversee my relationships. And grow me so that I can trust You while You do it. In Jesus name, Amen.

A Prayer for God’s Will in My Life

Lord, I learn from watching Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane that rather than pursuing my own will in my life, I should submit totally and completely to Your will for me (Luke 22:41-42). When my will does not line up with Yours, I choose Your will. That is not always easy for me to do. Teach me to submit to Your perfect plan for my life. My plan includes finding the right man to share life with, to walk beside, to connect to emotionally, spiritually, and physically, and to serve You together. That is what I want for my life. If You want something different, or if You want it at a different time, help me to choose Your will. I must be patient to wait as Your will unfolds. I must not rush into a relationship that places my will above Yours.

Lord, I admit that it is hard. You see my tears. You know my heartbreak. You sense my loneliness. Yet, You still know what is best for me. I choose Your will. But, the difficulty comes when I have the opportunity to jump the tracks and head in my own direction. Father, protect me from myself. Protect me from my heart that deeply desires to be married. Help me to wait for Your will. I know it will be best, but it is still hard when other options arise. So, with a trembling heart that longs most to be connected to You, I pray: “Lord, not my will, but Yours be done.” You know my heart’s desire. But, I trust You. Bring about Your will in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.

BMWK, did these prayers help you today?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 121 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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