Here’s How My Life and My Marriage Changed When I Allowed God’s Plan to Take Over

BY: - 10 Aug '17 | Faith

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By: Angelique Redus-McCoy

Two years ago, my family and I moved from our hometown to a city that, quite truthfully, had never been on our radar.  I left a job that I loved and where I felt loved. We left the home where we started our family, a home I could’ve lived in forever. We left our extended family, support systems, our church, our village. But to be clear, we did not move away from troubles. We moved on…to break free from our comfort zone and live out God’s plan for us.  It wasn’t easy though.

I am a planner at heart. Planning makes me breathe easier, helps me navigate life’s journeys and gives me a semblance of peace. Along the course of life, I always accepted that God’s plan for me ultimately ruled, but it was easy to accept because He and I typically were on the same page. That changed two years ago.

As we neared our breaking point, I had to learn to take a deep breath and BE STILL.

My husband and I both work in fields we love and feel passionate about. A few years into our marriage, we hit our stride with thriving careers, a beautiful home, two kids, vacations, and an active social life with friends and family. Life was pretty good.  Then my husband found himself with an opportunity to move up – if we moved away. Now was his time – but he wouldn’t – couldn’t- soar unless I was there alongside him.

When he first presented the opportunity to me, my initial thought was, “Um no…we’re good.” And we were. But who says “good” is the endpoint? I could not hold him back from his dreams – even if that meant I would need to redefine mine. Ultimately, the decision was easy, although I knew the journey would be challenging.

As it turned out, in a whirlwind four months, we moved our family and started upon our new adventure. Unfortunately, I quickly found myself in limbo – trying to recreate a plan without a firm sense of where I was and what I wanted.

In retrospect, I should have enjoyed the freedom to explore our new possibilities. Instead, the lack of a clear plan quickly stressed me out. After the first several months, the tension between my husband and I grew and almost suffocated us. He felt guilty for putting me in a position in which I had to recreate my career and adjust to a life without the support of our family and friends.  On the flip side, I volleyed between being proud of him and resenting him.

But God! As we neared our breaking point, I had to learn to take a deep breath and BE STILLGod did not bless us to this point in our lives to leave us hanging. He challenged us to grow into HIS plan for us. Leaning on the joy that persisted in my children, accepting my role as the rock that my husband needed through this transition, and remembering that God’s plan always prevails, I found peace in being still and letting God be God.

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Soon, the dots began to connect and the hints of possibilities God had placed on my heart began to come to fruition. My husband is soaring in his new position and I am settling into the exciting next phase of my career, which my previous experiences had perfectly prepared me for. We are finding creative ways to stay connected to our loved ones and opening ourselves up to new people in our lives. Most importantly, my husband and I have grown closer, having to lean more directly on each other to open our hearts to God’s bigger plan for our family.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So now, even as we have begun to set new goals and plans for our family, I am confident that our path is being directed by God and that any divergence from our plans is an opportunity that He has orchestrated. His plans are always bigger than ours and in that we find peace and look forward to a prosperous future.

Angelique Redus-McCoy is a Midwestern girl with a new Southern address. She is a board-certified pediatrician, caregiver at heart, but a writer deep down in her soul. She is currently crafting Act II of her life as a 40+ Wife/Mama/Daughter/ Sister/Friend/Dreamer. You can find her at  www.facebook.com/angelique.redusmccoy.

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3 Lifeline Communication Tips for a Healthy Christian Marriage

BY: - 21 Aug '17 | Faith

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By: Kimberly Keaton

Let’s all admit it. Communication can be challenging. But, the truth is, it does not have to be a lost cause in our marriages.  In particular, when it comes to Christian marriages, it should be even more edifying. The lifeline of a healthy Christian marriage is successful communication the way God intended.

The Bible tells us to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving towards one another.

The phrase “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” definitely holds true when it comes to the way we think and react. Acknowledging that men and women communicate differently is the first step towards having a healthy and fulfilling marriage.  My husband Shaun and I are thankful that we learned this early on in our marriage.  When we realized that communication was so much more than talking, other areas of our marriage began to fall into place.  So, here are three tips to help you better communicate with your spouse.

Don’t Listen to Reply, Listen to Understand

Fighting and arguing will never get you anywhere but ten steps behind.  In marriage, there is never a winner and a loser.  In Mark 10:8, the Bible tells us that “two will become one flesh.” That means that you’re in this TOGETHER!  Sure, you are going to have disagreements. How you handle them will be the determining factor in the outcome.  So, you either win together or you lose together.  Remember that the Lord gave us two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as you speak.

Understand Your Spouse

God has blessed you with your spouse, so spending time with them and understanding their likes, dislikes, and how they think should be a priority.  Maybe they love words of affirmation or maybe they feel your love through actions.  Whatever those things are should be used in your daily interaction with one another.  Even understanding their triggers will help you to know how far to go and when enough is enough.

Remember, we do not always see things through the same lens.  Put yourself into your spouse’s shoes and determine if it’s how you would want to be treated.  More importantly, ask yourself if you’re handling the situation with a Godly mindset.  There is nothing better than truly knowing the person that you signed up to spend the rest of your life with.

Always Be Ready to Forgive

Forgive. In other words, follow the old saying of “never go to bed angry” with one another.  Don’t give into the enemy because your ego or pride takes over. Holding on to a situation will only add fuel to the fire and create havoc for the future.  The Bible tells us to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving towards one another.  Forgiveness is a word that carries so much power and can be extremely difficult for some to grasp, especially during times when emotions are high.  Of course, it can be hard for us to let things go and move on, but with consistent prayer, it will become easier to leave things in the past.

Free Download: 31 Days of Scripture to Protect Your Marriage

So, I challenge all couples who proclaim to have a Christian marriage to become even more engaged with God’s word and with one another.  Focus on keeping God at the core of your marriage.  Always be ready to listen, forgive, and pray to God for guidance and wisdom.

BMWK, How’s the communication in your Christian marriage?

About the Author: Kimberly Keaton is a former gifted teacher turned WAHM (work at home mom) with a one and two year old. She lives in Indianapolis with her husband and high school sweetheart Shaun. They have been married for five years. You can follow her on Twitter at Kimberly (@TheRealKim_K) | Twitter.

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