3 Simple Tips for Investing in Your Wife

BY: - 15 Nov '17 | Marriage

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Recently, I wrote an article offering 3 Simple Tips for wives to invest in their husbands. I was encouraged by the women, both single and married, who were already doing these things in their relationships or were looking forward to investing in their future husbands.

For many women, nurturing a relationship comes naturally. We are usually the ones who will step in and take care of the crying babies, sick parents, or hurting friends. As a result, we sometimes tend to neglect our own wants and needs. Before we know it, days, weeks, and years have passed and we realize the most precious thing we have lost is time. If you’re a husband who desires to invest in your wife, these three elements of time are sure to help her flourish.

Related Article: 3 Simple Tips for Investing in Your Husband

Take Time

I know the look on my husband’s face that tells me he doesn’t quite understand what’s going on with me. Whether I’m going through something deeply emotional or we are just not seeing eye to eye, the most important thing to me is that he takes whatever time is necessary to understand the page I’m on.

When a husband makes this kind of investment in his wife’s heart and mind, it sends the message that she is in a safe place to release the things that are weighing her down. By listening, asking a lot of questions. and not defaulting to “yes dear,” he at once confirms both his love and protection. Once the weight is off of her shoulders, she is then free to fix her eyes on the things that will make her and their relationship even stronger.

Give Time

Regardless of her station in life, a woman’s slate is usually filled meeting the needs of those closest to her. She typically squeezes her needs in somewhere by sacrificing such things as eating, sleeping, or just having fun. Having gotten used to living this way, even as a single woman, she brings this mentality into her married life. Often times, you hear of women who will set aside their careers or their dreams for the sake of their family. While there is ultimately nothing wrong with that choice, a husband can invest in his wife giving her time to accomplish her own goals and dreams. Here are some examples:

  • Find a babysitter
  • Encourage her to have a night out with her friends
  • Schedule a spa day for her
  • Make dinner twice a week
  • Get the kids showered and put to bed
  • Help the kids with their homework

By removing these and other items from her schedule, a husband sends his wife the message that her time is equally valuable and her dreams are just as important as his.

Share Time

A large part of a woman’s thoughts is devoted to making sure her man is happy. But life can sometimes get in the way. The husband who makes spending time with his wife a priority communicates that the health of their relationship is just as important to him as it is to her.  To invest in his wife’s spirit, he gives her some of the time he might want to give to football. Planning and taking her out on a date is not an afterthought but a desire. Initiating love making, not just a quickie, sends the message that his heart is still completely hers.

I know it may seem odd, but by willingly sharing his time, a husband reaffirms the love in their relationship and gives his wife the security she needs. She can then focus more easily on the other areas in her life that also bring her joy and help her blossom into the woman she longs to be.

Click Here to Join our FREE 5-Day Spiritual Intimacy Challenge

Husbands, time is the one thing that wives willing give without a second thought. Whether your wife is a stay at home mom, a career driven woman, an entrepreneur, or all of the above, she will gladly give her time to make sure she meets as many needs as is humanly possible. By taking time, giving time, and sharing time, you help her invest the one thing she will invest in others but rarely in herself. And for that, she will be forever grateful.

BMWK, are you investing in your wife?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 154 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.


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4 Ways to Mend Your Relationship After a Painful Experience

BY: - 17 Nov '17 | Marriage

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When you experience something painful in your marriage, you have to make a decision that you will not let the pain destroy your partnership. Getting your marriage back to a good place will be challenging, especially if your relationship was shaky before the painful experience took place. Marriage can be hard work when things are wonderful, so when the “worse” comes knocking at your door, you have to decide if you will let it break what you’ve built.

You also have to remember that this decision to make things work is not yours alone to make. Your spouse has to make the decision as well. Once we say “I do,” our days of making major decisions all alone are over. Every decision you make has the potential to affect your spouse, and this is certainly the case when it comes to whether or not you want to strengthen your marriage.

If you and your spouse are on different pages, meaning that you want to seek help and they don’t, don’t lose hope. Continue working on yourself. Practice forgiveness, consider empathy towards your spouse, and if the pain is slowly eating away at you, consider individual therapy or counseling. Just
because your spouse isn’t ready, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t.

Some individuals and couples only need a few strategies to help them begin the process of working through the pain, while others may find the journey is bumpier. The source and amount of the pain have a huge impact on how much a couple needs to do to improve their marriage. Another determining factor is how each person in the couple processes pain and how compatible
those pain-management styles are with one another. Also, you have to consider what the state of your marriage was before the painful experience occurred.

Here are a few resources that can help you and your spouse get the help you need to recover from your painful experience and strengthen your marriage, so you are well-equipped when the next difficult experience comes knocking at your door.

Consider therapy.

Many people are not comfortable with therapy, and unfortunately, this is particularly true in the Black community. The reality is, however, that finding a qualified, licensed therapist can really help you get
the help you need. Most therapists see clients once a week, although you can request more frequent sessions. Many therapists accept insurance, and there are facilities throughout the U.S. that offer a sliding-fee scale, making therapy sessions more affordable to families within their communities.

Travel together.

This may seem very basic and that’s because it is. A trip with your spouse won’t fix your marriage, but it does allow you to step away from the pain, albeit briefly, and return home ready to seek help and move towards improving your marriage.

Seek advice from married couples you trust.

This can be tricky, so I only recommend doing it if you and your spouse are on board and you both trust the couple. I suggest approaching a couple you love and trust—two people who have been married for a decent amount of time (at least five years, but ideally more).

Get help from your church.

There is no denying the power that prayer can have on a marriage. In addition to offering you a place to pray and praise, churches often offer counseling, retreats, and ministries for married couples. Take a look at what your church offers and consider trying something you haven’t tried before.

Click Here to Join our FREE 5-Day Spiritual Intimacy Challenge

Seeking help isn’t always easy, but when you have committed your life to someone else, you truly have to take every possible measure to make things work. You owe your marriage that much.

When you are in the midst of a painful experience, it’s incredibly difficult to recognize how much the experience will strengthen you. Yet, with time, perseverance, and hard work, most marriages can truly survive experiences that have the potential to break your spirit and leave you lost. Most marriages can come out stronger with the right advice and a strong will to move forward and find joy again.

BMWK, are you ready to seek help for your marriage?

About the author

Martine Foreman wrote 496 articles on this blog.

Martine Foreman is a speaker, writer, lifestyle consultant, and ACE-certified Health Coach who specializes in helping moms who want more out of life but feel overwhelmed and confused. Through her content and services, Martine is committed to helping women embrace their personal truth, gain clarity, and take action to create healthier, happier lives. For more on Martine's candid views on life and love, visit her at candidbelle.com. To work with her, visit her at martineforeman.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her husband, two kids and sassy cat Pepper.


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