5 Key Questions to Ask for Your 2018 Marriage Mission Statement

BY: - 24 Nov '17 | Marriage

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Most married people can connect to a time or two of frustration in their marriage relationship, but there also exists a path to a better relationship. So, here is an idea: For 2018, write a marriage mission statement together—a simple document of just a few sentences you and your spouse can create together that gives shape to your marriage.

It recognizes that we need each other to arrive at the places of God’s promise for us as individuals, so we create a set of guiding principles that will remind us to respect our points of mutual need. It’s important for the couple to create a personal document that really keeps them centered on what is important between the two of them. Yet, there are five key areas you will want to consider in creating a mission statement for your own marriage:

1. Start by asking big questions. Where are we going? What do we want to accomplish throughout the course of our marriage? What legacy do we want to pass on?

2. What guiding principles shape our relationship? One key element that you may want to include in your mission is a list of the things that matter the most to the two of you. The more specific the better! Think of areas like communication, money, trust, parenting, and life itself. For example, “We will honor Christ in how we speak to each other, even and especially in times of conflict. We will seek to build each other up and not use words to tear each other down. We will listen to learn of each other’s feelings, not listen to win an argument.”

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3. What marriage legacy do you want to leave? A marriage mission statement should include where you want to end up. At some point, God is going to call one of you home and what will remain will be the blessed memories and the love that your marriage has sown in the lives of others. An
example might be, “It is the mission of this marriage to be an example of love to our children, those that enter our house, and those that we call our friends and family.”

4. What Scriptures will guide your marriage? In many ways, the message of the Bible is your mission statement, so Scripture has to be the backbone of the direction of your marriage. For example, when thinking about how to handle money, the words of the Lord, “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” may be helpful. There is no shortage of guidance from the Word of God.

5. What do we need to do and how do we need to treat each other, daily, to achieve God’s mission for our marriage? Simply writing your mission on paper does not move or shape your relationship. Rather, it is the action that you put behind the mission. The points of your mission statement call you to consider your individual and collective actions toward each other. For example, “We will set aside one hour a week to talk about our goals and our future together.” Or, “In order to bridge our communication gaps, I will set aside ten minutes out of every day just to listen to his/her feelings or needs.”

As you work through these questions as a couple, you can start to develop the Mission Statement for your marriage. Perhaps the mission would then look something like this:

On a daily basis, we will set aside time to talk and listen to each other. We will spend time sharing our concerns and giving each other equal time to air feelings when they happen and not harbor them. We will also discuss and reach decisions for our children and family—together.

On a monthly basis we will plan time to spend quiet, fun time together, just the two of us. This will be a time of connecting and reconnecting spiritually and intimately. Then at least once a year we will enjoy one big vacation together. At least once a quarter we will host an event for friends and family that will be a time to share, enjoy our friends, and allow our home and marriage to bless others through fellowship and friendship.

BMWK, what’s your marriage mission for 2018?

About the author

Edward Lee wrote 69 articles on this blog.

Edward is a husband, father, founder of Elevate Your Marriage Marriage Coaching, author of three books: "Elevate Your Marriage", "Husbands, Wives, God" and "Husbands, Wives, God Weekly Devotions." He is also the Pastor of LongView Bible Church in Owings Mills, Md. Visit Edward's blog at: elevateyourmarriage.com

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Embrace These 6 Traits if You Want to Be the Woman of His Dreams

BY: - 27 Nov '17 | Marriage

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If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to be the woman of your man’s dreams, you’re not alone. Whether you are married are single, becoming and remaining the woman of his dreams is not only for his good, but yours. In truth, the idea of the “woman of his dreams” is not one size fits all. It’s different for every man. But, regardless of what each man considers ideal, there are common threads in a woman’s character that most men find attractive.

Ironically, these common threads are meant for more than meeting your mate. In fact, in order to become the woman of his dreams, you must first commit to becoming the woman God intends for you to be. So, what does it really mean to be the woman of a man’s dreams? To answer that question, let me first borrow a well known phrase, “men want a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets.” In other words, men love a well balanced woman, equally capable on both sides.

As such, there are character traits that are equally attractive though they represent opposite sides of a woman’s persona. They are important not just in relationships, but in becoming the best woman you can be.

Trait #1 – Humility

I’m going to cut to the chase on this one because there are so many misconceived notions about this topic in relationships. Simply put, if you are unable to check your ego at the door when it comes to love, you won’t be his dream, you will be his nightmare. In every relationship, there’s bound to be conflict. Your man wants to know that he can have a reasonable conversation with you through that conflict and that you have the ability to compromise. If you want to be the woman of his dreams, it’s important to recognize where there’s room to cede your ground.

Trait #2 – Pride

While on the one hand you need to embrace humility to be the woman of his dreams, it’s also important that you take pride in the things that matter most. Take pride in your relationship with God. Having a deep rooted love for God helps you to love yourself even more. As you take care of your heart, mind, and spirit, you will find it easy to take pride in the physical side of you.

Trait #3 – Femininity

When you know how to flaunt your softer side, your man is sure to get caught up in it. He loves how the wind rustles the hem of your skirt. He’s moved by the softness of your hands and fuchsia painted nails. Knowing your way around the kitchen isn’t a bad deal either because, well, “the way to a man’s heart…” and all that.

If you want to be the woman of his dreams, then understand these ideas aren’t old fashioned, they’re timeless. They not only make you look good, they make you feel good. You’ll find that in the end, they make your man feel good too.

Trait #4 – Strength

Can you handle life? Your man wants to be assured that you can take life by the horns, roll with the punches, or whatever cliche happens to fit the moment. He knows that everything won’t be easy, but he if he figures you for the kind of woman who can get back up after taking a solid hit, he’s all yours.

Trait #5 – Spontaneous

So, the bills are piling up and everybody wants their money. Despite all of this, you still manage to show up at your man’s work for a surprise picnic lunch at the park down the street. Yes, life is crazy right now but you will be his dream girl if you can take him away for a moment and remind him you’re in this thing together. In the same token, if the roles get reversed, you are able to go with the flow and allow him to be your knight for the day.

Trait #6 – Grounded

When your man sees you are able to keep both feet on the ground, he becomes even more certain of his direction. Because the two of you have decided to walk the same path, your commitment to that decision fortifies his every move. He is able to stay the course because you are right beside him. He doesn’t take your future lightly because he recognizes the trust you have placed in his leadership. As a result, he is grateful your feet are firmly planted right next to his.

It’s not easy maintaining a well balanced perspective in a relationship. That’s one of the reasons men pant over a woman who finds her stride in life and brings it into their union. If you want to be the woman of his dreams, pursue the qualities of the woman God has called you to be. Then you’ll not only be the best you for your spouse, you’ll be the best you…for you.

BMWK, are you ready to be the woman of his dreams?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 127 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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