Embrace These 6 Traits if You Want to Be the Woman of His Dreams

BY: - 27 Nov '17 | Marriage

Share this article!


If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to be the woman of your man’s dreams, you’re not alone. Whether you are married are single, becoming and remaining the woman of his dreams is not only for his good, but yours. In truth, the idea of the “woman of his dreams” is not one size fits all. It’s different for every man. But, regardless of what each man considers ideal, there are common threads in a woman’s character that most men find attractive.

Ironically, these common threads are meant for more than meeting your mate. In fact, in order to become the woman of his dreams, you must first commit to becoming the woman God intends for you to be. So, what does it really mean to be the woman of a man’s dreams? To answer that question, let me first borrow a well known phrase, “men want a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets.” In other words, men love a well balanced woman, equally capable on both sides.

As such, there are character traits that are equally attractive though they represent opposite sides of a woman’s persona. They are important not just in relationships, but in becoming the best woman you can be.

Trait #1 – Humility

I’m going to cut to the chase on this one because there are so many misconceived notions about this topic in relationships. Simply put, if you are unable to check your ego at the door when it comes to love, you won’t be his dream, you will be his nightmare. In every relationship, there’s bound to be conflict. Your man wants to know that he can have a reasonable conversation with you through that conflict and that you have the ability to compromise. If you want to be the woman of his dreams, it’s important to recognize where there’s room to cede your ground.

Trait #2 – Pride

While on the one hand you need to embrace humility to be the woman of his dreams, it’s also important that you take pride in the things that matter most. Take pride in your relationship with God. Having a deep rooted love for God helps you to love yourself even more. As you take care of your heart, mind, and spirit, you will find it easy to take pride in the physical side of you.

Trait #3 – Femininity

When you know how to flaunt your softer side, your man is sure to get caught up in it. He loves how the wind rustles the hem of your skirt. He’s moved by the softness of your hands and fuchsia painted nails. Knowing your way around the kitchen isn’t a bad deal either because, well, “the way to a man’s heart…” and all that.

If you want to be the woman of his dreams, then understand these ideas aren’t old fashioned, they’re timeless. They not only make you look good, they make you feel good. You’ll find that in the end, they make your man feel good too.

Trait #4 – Strength

Can you handle life? Your man wants to be assured that you can take life by the horns, roll with the punches, or whatever cliche happens to fit the moment. He knows that everything won’t be easy, but he if he figures you for the kind of woman who can get back up after taking a solid hit, he’s all yours.

Trait #5 – Spontaneous

So, the bills are piling up and everybody wants their money. Despite all of this, you still manage to show up at your man’s work for a surprise picnic lunch at the park down the street. Yes, life is crazy right now but you will be his dream girl if you can take him away for a moment and remind him you’re in this thing together. In the same token, if the roles get reversed, you are able to go with the flow and allow him to be your knight for the day.

Trait #6 – Grounded

When your man sees you are able to keep both feet on the ground, he becomes even more certain of his direction. Because the two of you have decided to walk the same path, your commitment to that decision fortifies his every move. He is able to stay the course because you are right beside him. He doesn’t take your future lightly because he recognizes the trust you have placed in his leadership. As a result, he is grateful your feet are firmly planted right next to his.

It’s not easy maintaining a well balanced perspective in a relationship. That’s one of the reasons men pant over a woman who finds her stride in life and brings it into their union. If you want to be the woman of his dreams, pursue the qualities of the woman God has called you to be. Then you’ll not only be the best you for your spouse, you’ll be the best you…for you.

BMWK, are you ready to be the woman of his dreams?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 154 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.


like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!


Facebook Wordpress

Leave a Reply

All Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily! Sign up below!

3 Ways to Save Your Marriage From Holiday Hell

BY: - 29 Nov '17 | Marriage

Share this article!


I don’t know about you, but I love, love, love Christmas! As for the New Year, it’s a time we look forward to hitting the reset button and starting life fresh. If you have children they are through the roof with excitement. Adults, on the other hand, look forward to time off from work, holiday parties, family gatherings and last, but certainly not least, Christmas shopping for our loved ones.

However, while those things tend to put us in a jolly frame of mind, the reality is that for many married couples, this is not the picture perfect holiday.  It can be a trying time where spouses argue the most and little things quickly blow up into big things.

We all have different areas of concern that surface each holiday and what causes marriage problems for one marriage might not necessarily trouble another married couple. Below are three of the most common marital problems most couples have a tendency to react to this time of year.  I’ve also included potential responses to turn these problems into opportunities and, prayerfully, solutions!

Working with Your In-Laws

The holidays are a time to celebrate all of our relationships, but they can also be tense with anxiety and dread — especially when it comes to spending time with extended family.

Whether you love your spouse’s parents or barely tolerate your in-laws, your rapport with them can have lasting effects on your marriage. According to recent research, it could even predict your odds of staying together long term or not.

If this is an area of concern for you and your spouse, reflect and ask what always causes the arguments?

  • Could it be something they always say or allude to?
  • Could it be the way they act towards you?
  • Could it be that your spouse acts differently around them?

Now that you have a heightened awareness, take a moment and write down ways to be proactive during your visit in an effort to prevent the same issues from resurfacing. Remember the important thing during this time is likely to be your peace of mind and to ensure you and your loved ones are able to enjoy the holiday season as a family.  Sometimes, silence is truly golden and often the only way to keep the peace…especially during the holidays.

Respond-VS-React:  Make a decision in advance that you will NOT allow anyone to force you to react, rather you will stay as calm as a cucumber and only respond when prompted. Remember it’s sometimes better to say nothing. Deal with issues away from the kids and/or other family members.  Agree with your spouse in advance that if it gets to be too much, you will go for a walk, get some coffee or tea, to the mall, or to see a friend.

Money & Gift Spending

Even without the holidays, it is no secret that fighting about money puts a huge strain on a marriage.  Money issues are so taxing that spouses who say they’re experiencing stress in their marriages name finances as the number one reason.

So it should come as no surprise that most arguments over the holidays have to do with money. It often starts when both spouses have different views about money. In our marriage, I’m the spouse who, because I received very little for Christmas as a child, now sees Christmas as a time to really spoil our daughter. Because of that, I have a tendency to over-spend.

Click Here to Download a FREE Copy of the BMWK Generational Wealth Pledge for Black Families!

Now for my husband, giving expensive gifts is not a big deal. Spending quality time with us watching movies together and doing things together is more important. It is worth mentioning I value quality time too just differently for the purpose of this example and season.

When both spouses come together to celebrate the holiday with different ideas about what makes the “perfect” day it can be a recipe for disaster. However, if you knew that your spouse grew up with few presents, would this change how you feel about them when they spend money? Awareness is the key.

Respond VS React:  Sit down together (preferably) or alone if your spouse won’t participate and write down the things that would make up the ideal holiday for you. After identifying 5 or more, ask yourself what is the most important. Keep doing that until you’ve put your list in order, one being the most important and five being the least. If you are doing this with your spouse, compare your lists and talk about why your number one is so important and the significance of why it means so much to you.  Truly make it a goal to have an in depth value added discussion of specifically what and why these items are so important to you and talk about how you can both meet each other’s needs this holiday and future holidays.

Alcohol Consumption

I don’t know about you, but have you not seen alcohol stores with lines down the aisles and out the doors during the holidays?  Statistics show that alcohol consumption increases during the holidays. However, ‘drinking’ can mean two very different things to each spouse.  One spouse may see the holidays as a chance to splurge on the liquor, or they may deem alcohol as necessary to relax and unwind. The other spouse may just enjoy the occasional glass or two, if any, and be done drinking. As you reflect on last year, did consuming alcohol cause you or your spouse any problems? Did it lead to fighting or if lucky a “love connection”? Did it cause arguments or happiness? It is important to be mindful of alcohol tendencies.

Respond-VS-React:  We are all adults; as such, you cannot stop your spouse from doing anything that they don’t want to do. However, you can inspire them to change. Support your spouse by replacing drinking with exciting and fun alternatives (not the activities you find fun and exciting but those that your spouse finds fun and exciting).

Last but certainly not least, my go to is always prayer! Prayer helps me get through any difficult time.  I hope that prayer will be your go to as well. My colleague crafted a helpful article that I’d love to share and encourage you to read to equip yourself in prayer during the holidays…3 Special Prayers for Joy and Peace During the Holidays.

BMWK, are you ready to save your marriage from holiday hell?

About the author

Da-Nay Macklin wrote 57 articles on this blog.

Coach Da-Nay Macklin is a Certified Christian Life & Relationship Coach, founder of the Courageous Conquerors Mastermind and Author of Love After Adultery: The Breakthrough Journey of the Brokenhearted Available on Amazon She is one of the nation’s leading experts on infidelity and a thought leader on maximizing potential as she assists couples and individuals to live life by design and not default. Da-Nay has been has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network’s show Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal after successfully navigating adultery in her marriage, and named one of the 15 most powerful women on the south side of Chicago. She now resides in Charlotte, NC with her loving husband and daughter.


like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!


Facebook Wordpress