5 Signs You Could Be Cheating on Your Husband

BY: - 30 Nov '17 | Infidelity

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It has become a well known fact that women cheat in relationships as often, if not more, than men. Though the stigma is more often attributed to the husband, wives shouldn’t get comfortable and think they can’t be found to step out on their men.

Typically, wives who cheat are said to do so emotionally rather than physically. While that may be true to some degree, it’s important to also be aware of both the emotional and physical missteps that can lead to an affair. So, what are some warning signs that you might be less than faithful to your spouse? Below are five that fly under the radar and might catch you off guard if you’re not careful.

Leaving Out Parts of a Conversation with a Male Friend

At first, it may start out innocently. But isn’t that usually how it goes. You and your husband’s best buddy “Jason” are having a conversation and he lets something inappropriate slip. You realize it but you either ignore it or respond flirtatiously. Whatever the case,  you don’t let your man in on that part of the conversation. You also fail to check “Jason” on his disrespect. That’s a sure sign your heart or your body is heading away from the relationship. If this is you, you could be cheating on your husband.

You are Unmoved if Another Woman Shows Interest in Your Husband

If you don’t care that another woman is trying to move in on your man, chances are you’ve got your own piece of action happening on the side. Needless to say, if the love was still strong, your jealousy would be through the roof. But somewhere along the line, you lost the emotional connection to your husband. You may not be physically involved with another man, but there is someone who is feeding your emotional desires. If this is you, you could be cheating on your husband.

You Find Reasons to Argue Almost Daily

Your husband has left his socks on the floor many times and you’ve never complained. All of a sudden, you take him to task and he’s left with his mouth hanging open. Whether it’s dishes in the sink, helping with the kids, or leaving the seat up in the bathroom, there’s an argument that needs to be had and you’re itching to get it started. While you’re all giggles and smiles around some other man, your husband has to deal with your incessant anger and criticism. If this is you, you could be cheating on your husband.

You No Longer Feel the Need to Serve Your Spouse

Breakfast in bed? Nope. Dinner on the Table? Nope. Late night booty call? Definitely Nope. The things you once gladly did to serve your spouse, you no longer desire to do them. They have become a nuisance or a hassle to you. Now, to fetch a cup of coffee for “Chris” at work is a joy and you have no problems doing it each day. When you pack your lunch at home, you make sure there’s extra, just in case “Chris” would like some. Finding ways to serve another man while your spouse is neglected is not a good look. If this is you, you could be cheating on your husband.

You Don’t Talk to Your Husband Like You Used To

There was a time when you couldn’t wait to tell your husband everything that had gone on in your day. The two of you would be chilling on the couch after a long day at work and you would talk or laugh or cry and then talk some more. These days, you barely say more than two words to him the entire day. If he tries to strike up a conversation, you are definitely not interested. Basically, what do you need to talk to him for when you’ve already shared these moments with another man? Maybe things haven’t gone too far yet, but your husband is definitely getting pushed out. If this is you, you could be cheating on your husband.

Learn how to affair-proof your marriage from this day forward with our FREE eGuide – 3 Ways to Rebuild Your Marriage After an Affair

Don’t get me wrong. These things for sure could be a sign of dissatisfaction in the relationship without any act of wrongdoing. But, like I said earlier, cheating is not always about the physical. So, beware of these actions and the potential pitfall they pose to your marriage. Then, fix them.

BMWK, what other cheating signs should you watch out for?

 

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 140 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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Affair Triggers: 5 Tips to Help When You or Your Spouse Have a Flash Back

BY: - 27 Dec '17 | Infidelity

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Remember the scene from the movie “Best Man” where Lance fights flashbacks of betrayal running through his head at the altar. Yet, somehow, he finds the strength to marry Mia despite her having slept with his best man Harper. He doesn’t allow the flashbacks that could be a setback to keep him from making a decision and commitment to move forward in his relationship.  While this is a movie, it truly imitates life. With forgiveness and the below strategies, your marriage can confront and conquer flashbacks after an affair just as my husband and I have done.

I can honestly say I’ve been here personally, minus the altar scene. I have been haunted by flashbacks and sexual visions that I too have battled as a result of my husband’s affair.  For every victory my husband would win, it seemed like he’d have to take a step or two back almost every time a flashback was triggered.

No matter how hard I fought (and, oh yes, you can trust and believe it is a fight to combat such ugly visions, the devil tried to get all up in the details and will do the same with you too) I could not free myself from these thoughts until I did the things I outline below. Often times it truly can feel like you are taking one step forward and five steps back. This typically proves true especially when you’re experiencing headway between you and your spouse. I remember asking, “Will this roller coaster ride ever end?”  Hard as it is to grasp, I promise you with patience and the below strategies, they will slowly become a thing of the past.

Seek Spousal Support

Understand flashbacks are a shared responsibility and experience. For the spouse who has strayed, this can be very hard because flashbacks stir up feelings of guilt and/or frustration. However, as challenging as it may be, the fastest road to getting back to “normal” and advancing the marriage is for the unfaithful partner to be extremely patient and understanding.  Though it will not come naturally, I promise you it is a powerful bonding experience. If you both approach this with the right attitude you can actually end up feeling closer than ever before in your marriage and not only survive, but thrive.

Identify Your Triggers

In an effort to either avoid or prepare yourself against future occurrences, you should become sensitive and conscious to people, places, things, and situations that trigger your flashbacks. Pay close attention and, as time goes by, you will be able to stay clear of the situations that can cause emotional harm.

Learn how to affair-proof your marriage from this day forward with our FREE eGuide – 3 Ways to Rebuild Your Marriage After an Affair

Reduce Flashbacks

Understanding triggers allows both spouses to work as a T.E.A.M (Together Everyone Achieves More) to avoid flashbacks and/or fights. I can recall saying to Chris “When you’re late getting home from work or other functions and I haven’t heard from you, I worry about where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing. Can we figure out a way to be proactive in avoiding this from happening?” Perhaps there is a place that triggers a flashback (e.g. driving by the restaurant you walked in on your spouse and the affair partner as you discovered the affair). Until you are over the affair, I strongly suggest avoiding it and taking a different route until you KNOW it will not phase you. Trust me, you will get to that place if you persevere!

Flashback Self Soothing

I’m encouraging you to try various activities until you determine what works best for you.  Pay very close attention to what calms you when you have a flashback and put this into practice repeatedly along with other soothing/relaxing activities. Perhaps you want your spouse to acknowledge your feelings by offering to hold and reassure you.  Or maybe you want your spouse to extend you time and space to be by yourself.  Let your spouse know what works best for you and don’t be hesitant in communicating your truth. Be upfront and forth coming with what is on your heart.

Rollercoaster Riding

Flashbacks are inevitable. Don’t try to stop them initially until you have mastered managing them (this will come in time, trust me I know). Trying to stop them early on could intensify and increase more flashbacks.  Say to yourself, “This is just a flashback passing by.”  Flashbacks are like roller-coasters. No matter how terrifying they may seem, no matter how much it feels like it will never end, they last no more than 10-15 minutes on average. Occasionally, they might last a little longer, but that is rare.  Just like roller-coasters have ups and downs, so will you in terms of them coming in waves.  Just hold on, recognize it for what it is, seek the help and support you need while taking comfort in knowing…this too shall pass!

If your flashback frequency occurs less often and doesn’t hit you as hard, pat yourself on the back because you’ve made progress!  The more you’re able to identify that you’re getting a healthier handle on monitoring and managing your flashbacks, the faster they will improve. You will know that healing after an affair is nearly complete when flashbacks don’t make you think twice and you can carry on immediately, functioning in your day while having confidence in yourself and the marriage.

About the author

Da-Nay Macklin wrote 53 articles on this blog.

Coach Da-Nay Macklin is a Certified Christian Life & Relationship Coach, founder of the Courageous Conquerors Mastermind and Author of Love After Adultery: The Breakthrough Journey of the Brokenhearted Available on Amazon She is one of the nation’s leading experts on infidelity and a thought leader on maximizing potential as she assists couples and individuals to live life by design and not default. Da-Nay has been has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network’s show Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal after successfully navigating adultery in her marriage, and named one of the 15 most powerful women on the south side of Chicago. She now resides in Charlotte, NC with her loving husband and daughter.

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