3 Reasons Why the Holidays are the Best Time to Find Love

BY: - 14 Dec '17 | Relationships

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When you’re single for the holidays, it seems like there’s a never ending string of reminders that your relationship status is stuck at “it’s complicated,” despite everything you’ve tried.

December brings Christmas and New Year’s Eve, and with it, parties that require a “plus one.” You also get bombarded with a flood of engagement announcements on your social media timeline and the sad realization that another year is passing and you’re still single. New Year’s Day fills you with motivation and you make another resolution that “this is my year” to have love. But the high you feel from the vision board party wears off when you realize Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and you don’t have any real prospects yet.

It’s enough to make you want to lock yourself in your condo to binge watch Hallmark holiday movies with with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to comfort you!

But what if I told you that the holidays were the perfect time for you to date and position yourself to meet someone who could be your “plus one” to all of the Christmas parties (and maybe even be “The One”)?


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According to the Match Group, one of the largest online dating companies which owns and operates dating sites like OkCupid, Tinder, Black People Meet and Plenty of Fish, the months of December to February are known as Peak Dating Season because online dating memberships grow between 40-60 percent!  That means millions of singles are going online right now, looking to meet someone just like you.

Why? The end of the year makes people reflect on their priorities and they realize they want love and relationships. They also don’t want to go to the office holiday gala alone so they’re actively looking for a date. Online dating sites help them meet a lot of people quickly. Finally, holiday breakups mean more singles are flooding the dating pool. People don’t want to take a broken relationship into a new year, and so they position themselves for a fresh start with someone new.

That’s good news for you if you’re single right now. To maximize this opportunity to turn the holidays into your own personal peak dating season, you need to do these 3 things:

 1)  Refresh your mindset

Get rid of the stinkin’ thinkin’ that’s crushing your confidence. Rehearsing old hurts, holding on to past regrets or getting anxious about the future zaps your motivation to date. If you’re going to be successful in dating, you’ve got to have faith that the relationship you want is possible for you now, no matter what did or didn’t happen throughout the year.

Use affirmations like, “Now is the perfect time to meet my perfect partner” to restore your faith and replace your anxiety with anticipation that something exciting is on the horizon for you.

2) Update your dating profile

I share tips here and here on how to create a profile that’s poppin’ that attracts high-caliber singles to you. In addition to those powerful strategies, make sure your profile is relevant. Replace photos of you on the beach with some pics of you doing your favorite cold-weather activities. It sounds like simple advice, but the principle behind this update is that you want to appear like you’re active on the site so people reach out to you.

3) Get ready for Dating Sunday

Sundays are usually the highest traffic days for dating sites, so you want to log on and check your inbox. But the Sunday after New Year’s Day is historically the busiest day online ever. Dating Sunday is the biggest online singles’ mixer of the year. Do not miss it! More people will be swiping, liking, winking and chatting on this day than any other day of the year. You can make sure your profile is in the top tier of featured singles by using the “boost” feature if your dating service offers it.

Just because you didn’t meet the person of your dreams yet, doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. In fact, many of my clients positioned themselves online during Peak Dating Season and by the summer, were in an exclusive relationship because they maximized the momentum that’s created during this time.

About the author

Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 174 articles on this blog.

Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.


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3 Things that Could Hijack Your Relationship in 2018

BY: - 15 Dec '17 | Relationships

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For many of us, 2017 had its ups and downs. We may be up personally but down politically; up spiritually but down financially. Regardless of our trajectory on any given issue, the one thing that was always on the level was our relationship with our Boo. The love was real. The fun was real. The relationship was untouchable.

But as 2018 rolls around and we search for ways to elevate the things that had our spirits down, it can be easy to neglect the things that held us up. So, before your relationship falls victim to a sneaky issue or gets hijacked by a major one, here are some areas to watch out for in 2018 and the effective ways to combat them.

Politically Speaking

Whether you live in a red or blue state or are rooting for the elephants or the donkeys, your relationship could be headed for trouble if you and your significant other stand on opposite corners of the political ring. The thing that makes these kinds of conversations difficult is that each person usually relies heavily on ideology that falls within party lines as opposed to true personal conviction. As such, you find yourself calling your mate’s character into question.

If you are brave enough to walk into this kind of conversation in your relationship, then be prepared for one of two things:

  1. From the onset, and before things get crazy, agree to disagree on any point of contention. Make sure you have clearly heard each other out, but if there is an impasse, agree to let it go without judgment.
  2. Take the time to utilize effective communication skills in order to truly hear and understand your partner’s point of view. Don’t just listen to counter their thoughts. Listen to understand their reasoning and see if you can find room to agree. The time and place of these kinds of conversations will also be a key factor in keeping your relationship on the high ground.

Health Concerns

When one person in a relationship suffers from a debilitating or chronic illness, it can definitely take a toll on what was once a beautiful thing. For the person who is suffering, nothing is quite as scary as a troubling diagnosis from a doctor. It affects both the physical and mental health of the patient. Often times, their behavior changes as a result of guilt and they begin to treat their mate poorly.

On the flip side, the supporting partner fights to remain just that, supportive. But the weariness of trips to the doctor along with the fear of what’s to come also plays games with their minds. Soon, they could find themselves becoming short tempered with the very person they are hurting for.

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Rather than each person suffering alone, talk to each other about your fears and your pain. Then go to God in prayer as a couple. Using spiritual convictions to battle earthly concerns is a powerful way to face issues together and keep your relationship strong.

Financial Issues

Whenever we head into a new year, our financial outlook can definitely wreak havoc on our lives. If we’re not careful, we tend to view our lives through the lens of the haves and the have nots. If you and your partner aren’t on the same page and you don’t have the same financial goals, your relationship is bound to go through it.

The good news is that leaving an old year and heading into a new one is by far one of the best times to set goals and outline the necessary steps to achieve them. Whether you call it a money making session, a wealth building party, or just a meeting on the money, the important thing is that you come to a meeting of the minds. Review the mishaps of the previous year and detail the areas you were hit the hardest. Then, create a financial vision board and put it in a place where you can both see it on a regular basis and hold each other accountable.

To say that these are all hot button issues is a serious understatement. Despite that, we can still be caught off guard and our relationship can take a serious hit if we’re not prepared to deal with them. Take a good look at the things that kept your relationship solid in 2017. Then, keep doing them. But don’t go to sleep on the sneaky stuff. Regardless of the topic, communicate, pray, and plan your way into a healthy relationship in 2018.

BMWK, Are you ready to protect your relationship in 2018?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 150 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.


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