4 Healthy Ways to Change Your Marriage in 2018

BY: - 28 Dec '17 | Marriage

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Well, 2017 is almost outta here! It’s been one heck of a year. When it comes to a fulfilling relationship with your spouse, 2017 either knocked your socks off or left you wanting. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you and your spouse took on the world like Bonnie and Clyde. You were in this life together. Your relationship was untouchable and everyone around you knew it. Your plan for 2018 is to take it up a notch and make it even better.

Other relationships, however, may not have been so fortunate. Whether there were arguments almost daily, concerns of infidelity, severe financial setbacks, or emotional and mental struggles, there were some unions that took a hard hit this past year. Truth be told, you can’t wait to reset the clock and give your relationship a much needed shot in the arm.

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Well, who says you have to wait. The truth is that you can reset the clock at any time, anywhere. If your marriage appears terminally ill, there’s no time like the present to turn things around. So, starting now and throughout 2018, here are some ways you can change your marriage and get it healthy once again.

Detox Your Relationship and Get Rid of the Crap

The first step to changing the health of your marriage is to rid it of everything that’s weighing it down. Just as you would begin a healthy change to your body with a well planned cleanse, your marriage needs the same kind of detoxification. Start by getting rid of the bad habits that have your communication with your spouse completely clogged up.

  • Shouting instead of talking
  • Accusing instead of asking
  • Defending instead of apologizing
  • Ignoring instead of acknowledging
  • Leaving instead of listening

If your modus operandi has been any of the above, it’s time to ditch those bad habits and grow up. Typically, marriage is between two adults. Put childish ways behind you and give your love a healthy dose of maturity. And, just like after a good poop, you’ll begin to feel so much better, not to mention grateful for the much needed relief.

Feed Your Love the Right Kinds of Foods

Once you’ve started to cleanse your relationship, the next step is to nourish it with good, healthy “food.” With your physical body after a cleanse, you want to introduce the kinds of foods that will continue to promote good health and provide abundant energy. A marriage is no different. Food to a marriage is anything that you put into it. So, introduce…or re-introduce the things that made you fall in love with your spouse – and your spouse fall in love with you – in the first place.

  • Talk….ALOT….for hours.
  • Laugh even more than you talk.
  • Encourage each other just like in the old days.
  • Find out what your spouse desires, then surprise them with it.
  • Spend time together…ALONE…without the kids.
  • Get dolled up before a date. Get dolled up even if there is no date.
  • Pray together so you can stay together.

I know that some of these things are straight up elementary. But, when you’re starting over, you have to return to the basics to regain your health and strength.

Exercise and Put Your Love to Work

If you’ve ever done a cleanse without exercising, you know you don’t get as much out of it as you could if you were putting your muscles to work. Needless to say, your routine has to be modified to appropriately handle your doctor’s suggested nutritional intake. But to get the most out of the changes you are making, that physical connection is important. I’m sure you see where I’m going with this.

Once you begin to feed your relationship the right kinds of “food,” the emotional and physical health of your marriage will begin to improve. Take advantage of that! Sweet talk each other. Flirt with each other. Touch each other. Make love to each other. Enjoy each other as much and as often as possible. At first, it may feel a bit awkward. But remember, you’re trying to turn things around starting now, so push through and allow your emotional and physical memory to begin to take over.

Professional Training Can Be Your Friend

If you’ve ever had a nutritionist plan your meals or a personal trainer lead your workouts, you know they’ve got the skills that will take your health to the next level. In your marriage, don’t go to sleep on professional counseling. Laugh at the stigma and decide with your spouse that your relationship is worth giving a professional chance. Seek guidance from a counselor that’s spiritually and socially acceptable to you both. It could be your pastor or Christian counselor. It could be a couple you admire whose relationship you would like to imitate. Just make sure it’s someone you both trust and are confident will have your best interest at heart.

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Yes, 2018 is around the corner. But why put off for tomorrow what you can begin today. Get started on those changes right now and have 2018 become the best year of your married life.

BMWK, are you ready to get started on a healthy marriage for the new year?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 157 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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6 Practices of a Marriage That Runs Like a Well-Oiled Machine

BY: - 29 Dec '17 | Marriage

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When I hear the phrase “well-oiled machine” I think of something smooth and efficient with little to no defect. But I also know it earned its reputation as a result of a lot of hard work by everyone involved with bringing the product to market. Take a BMW for instance. No matter the series, a BMW is a much coveted vehicle that has set the standard for many others. But it didn’t get that way over night. After years of design and redesign and with a clear vision as to how they would stand out above the rest, BMW can be considered a well-oiled machine by even its harshest critics.

In your average, run of the mill marriage, things move along; but there are few instances of growth and development…design and redesign, if you will. Not so with marriages that appear effortless, smooth, and efficient. What are they doing differently and how can you get in on the secret?

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One of BMW’s slogans is “Designed for Driving Pleasure.” A marriage that runs like a well-oiled machine has to be designed to do so. While not an exhaustive list, below are six “P’s” that are designed to help your marriage run like a well oiled machine.

Prayer

Start here. You ever notice when you’re given a design to successfully build something or get you to the right destination you have a sign that tells you where to start? Marriages that are smooth and efficient get that way because they rely on a power greater than the individual parts. If you want to enjoy the experience of a healthy marriage, check your ego at the door and give it up to God.

Patience

BMW didn’t get on top overnight. Your marriage won’t either. But with the right framework, you can get there. Getting to your ultimate goal in your relationship will require a lot of patience. There will be a lot of designing and redesigning involved. This can lead to lots of frustration and misunderstanding. But if you remain patient and tweak the areas that are lacking, things will begin to run the way they should.

Plan

I know it doesn’t sound sexy to plan your marriage. But, sexy is as sexy does. If you don’t envision the end goal, the product of your efforts, you’ll keep making the same mistakes and not know how to fix them. Planning leads to a well prepared heart and mind that can handle whatever kink gets thrown into your relationship. So do your relationship a favor and take the time needed to set yourself up to win.

Protection

Regardless of how much planning you do, there will be variables that get tossed in the mix. But you can keep important safeguards on hand that will help protect your relationship from any of these events. When things start churning the right way, not everyone will be rooting for you. Protect your love by communicating openly about the challenges you each face. Then utilize agreed upon rules or avenues that form a strong protective shield around your relationship.

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Pleasure

Just like a BMW that’s designed for driving pleasure, a well-oiled marriage is designed for life’s pleasure. When your relationship is on point, you are laughing, talking, texting, sexting. You enjoy each other’s company regardless of whether or not you’re in the same room. When something great happens, your spouse is the first one you want to tell. When you’re feeling horny, you can’t wait to get home and get some. A well-oiled marriage simply feels as good as it’s designed to be.

Promise

Another one of BMW’s taglines is “The Ultimate Driving Machine.” Now, that’s what you call a promise. They all but guarantee that you won’t find another vehicle that you will want to drive as much as theirs. When your marriage is operating on all cylinders, you know you won’t find another partner who makes you feel the way your spouse does. As you design and redesign your relationship, you are strengthening the commitment you made at the altar. And it’s a commitment your spouse knows you promise to keep.

There are so many other practices that are part and parcel of the ones above. But if you start with these, you will learn to identify other things specific to the needs of your relationship. Then, by putting them into practice, you will eventually get to the place your well-oiled marriage is destined to go.

 

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BMWK, Are you ready to see your marriage run like a well-oiled machine?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 157 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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