Best Dating Advice? These 12 Made Our List!

BY: - 1 Dec '17 | Relationships

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Well, it’s the last month of 2017. For many singles, the year has been nothing but a roller coaster ride of crazy! Whether you’ve been hooked up through a mutual friend, swiped your way through Tinder, or took a chance on a co-worker, you have yet to meet your soulmate. If you find yourself at a loss when it comes to the dating scene, help is on the way.

Recently, we posed a question to our married audience on Facebook, asking them to give us their best dating advice for the coming year. Here are our top 12, one for every month!

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    1. Don’t toss your pearls to the pigs. Let God choose your mate! From my own, personal experience I know it works.
    2. Date outside the box..meaning date the ones you wouldn’t have given a chance.
    3. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER lower your standards. Don’t apologize for your intelligence, your career, your money. It’s yours, like your body, so don’t give it away. Your biological clock is not ticking. Janet Jackson just had a baby at 54.
    4. Look very Carefully at his or her ways!!! DON’T rush things….seek God first!!
    5. Don’t ever settle! Have standards. Be patient. Communicate in person.
    6. Stay true to yourself and your core values. When you do this, you will attract people with similar morals and values.

  1. Stop searching for your mate…find a friend…find a comrade…find a support system…find a teacher…find a selfless lover…find a companion who will compromise for you…find your PERSON and you will find your Soulmate.
  2. Be realistic and reasonable, but maintain your standards. Also, be self aware and be 100% sure of your worth. Pray that God gives you clarity in identifying him or her. Recognize that a person may not check all the boxes on your list at that time, but it doesn’t mean that they won’t in time. (Keep in mind you aren’t perfect either). Also, what you think you need is not always what you need. That’s where prayer comes in.
  3. Be transparent.
  4. Advice for ladies: give those nerds a chance to love you good. Ladies be missing out on good dudes because they don’t give the nerdy dude a chance.
  5. Stick to it! At times, you’ll get discouraged so you must keep going. Write down what you want and don’t settle, don’t compromise or dumb yourself down. Go to quality places to meet different types and do things differently. Date outside your race. Don’t make yourself available or waste your time on NO WIN situations. Ask friends if they know single people.
  6. Make your expectations known. If you don’t want kids, let it be known. If you’re just looking for fun, let it be known. If you’re looking for a spouse, let it be known. If that person isn’t on the same page, don’t waste too much time trying to change people.

And there you have it folks. If you desire to have a special relationship in 2018, or simply find yourself in need of a date, pick the advice that works best for you and let 2018 be your year to shine!

BMWK, which advice was your favorite?

About the author

Joann Fisher wrote 127 articles on this blog.

Joann Fisher has been a writer and editor for both print and online newpapers and magazines for the last 10 years. She now serves as a Writer/Editor at BMWK and lead Editor for The Joy Network.

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Why Do So Many Christian Couples Fail at Marriage?

BY: - 5 Dec '17 | Faith

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Dear Dr. Buckingham,

I have been reading your articles for some time now and I notice that you often talk about God and often encourage people to pray. My husband and I have been married for 12 years, but we are having problems because we do not operate as one or put each other first. Also, family members and friends are constantly in our business.

We are faithful church members and do what is expected of us. However, despite all of the praying and worshipping, our marriage is on the rocks. I struggle to understand how we have so much conflict considering that we are committed Christians. In your opinion, “Why Do So Many Christian Couples Fail At Marriage?” Please advise.

Godly Wife

Ask Dr. Buckingham

Dear Godly Wife,

Thanks for reading my articles and for asking such an important question. In my opinion, many Christian couples fail at marriage because individuals forget that when they got married, they entered into a covenant relationship with God. Unfortunately, as time passes, individuals focus less on their spouse, more on themselves, and allow others to enter into their marital space.

The legal marital agreement that you made with your husband is a man made contract that is difficult to uphold during tough times. On the other hand, the covenant or agreement that you and your husband made before God should be easier to uphold during tough times because He is always faithful to His Word.

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Your marriage covenant is based on your agreement and commitment to operate as one in togetherness. Gen 2:24 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. This means that you and your husband become one and should always strive to work in harmony. Also, Matthew 19:6 states, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

You and your husband should have a Bonnie and Clyde mentality, “Us Against the World.” This does not mean that others cannot contribute to your marriage, but be leery of anyone who tries to create separation within your household.

Divorce lurks when Christian couples lose understanding of what it means to join together in agreement where no man can separate them. God has already provided the template for your marital success, but many couples allow family members and others to cause separation within their marriage, thus destroying the essence of what it means to become “one flesh.”

Remember that your covenant to your husband is bigger than you and your commitment to the church. Both you and your husband agreed to become one flesh and to let no man separate you. The success of your marriage does not depend solely on you and your husband, but on the promises of God.

As you work to save your marriage, please keep in mind that marriage is not a contractual agreement; it is a covenant between you and your husband that can withstand the test of time because it was based on God’s word. Given this, I highly recommend that you and your husband take some time to read and meditate on Gen 2:24 and Matthew 19:6. When the Word of God is absent in marriage, so is the absence of life long commitment.

Best regards,

Dr. Buckingham

If you have questions for Dr. Dwayne Buckingham regarding relationships (married, single, etc), parenting, or personal growth and development, please send an email to askdrbuckingham@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The ideas, opinions and recommendations contained in this post are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional counseling or guidance. Any concerns or questions that you have about relationships or any other source of potential distress should be discussed with a professional, in person. The author is not liable or responsible for any personal or relational distress, loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or recommendations in this post.

About the author

Dwayne Buckingham wrote 194 articles on this blog.

Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham, author of Qualified, yet Single: Why Good Men Remain Single and Unconditional Love: What Every Woman and Man Desires in a Relationship, is a highly acclaimed international clinical psychotherapist, life coach, relationship and resiliency expert, motivational speaker and corporate consultant. He is also the President and Chief Executive Officer of R.E.A.L. Horizons Consulting Service, located in Silver Spring, Maryland. To learn more about Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham visit his website at www.DrBuckingham.com.

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